Neighbour's noise complaint - what to do?

[Frankola]

I'll try to keep this simple. A bit of backstop first.

A month ago an elderly lady moved into the house next door. This house is a 3 story 4 bedroom property attached to mine.

I have a 4 year old daughter and a husband.

Here's the aibu -
Today I answered the door to my elderly next door neighbour who told me that the noise from my house "everyday from 6pm to 10pm is unacceptable".

When I asked her to elaborate she told me that my 4 year old daughter "bangs and shouts".

I really can't get my head around this. From 6pm we are eating tea and getting a bath! My dd isn't banging a drum kit or learning the bagpipes!

I'm shocked that this woman thinks its acceptable to complain about general family living noises at teatime?! Worse still, when I explained that I was quite confused as I'd never had any issues with neighbours over the previous 4 years we've lived there she told me "well you do have a problem now"!

I'm now driving myself mad with the idea shes going to report us to the police or social services or continue to cause us issues with her complaints.

So - aibu to post dog shit through her letterbox?
Seriously though - what would you do?

As an older person aibu when my ndn plays loud music from 10pm to 4am, so loud that my friends 4 doors away can hear it?

[quote Frankola]@polpotnoodle who's banging on?! I mentioned it in my original post for context and once again in the feed to share what a neighbour had said.

I dont particularly want to use this thread to get into a debate about my opinions of single occupants taking larger homes.

I asked for advice on what to do about my neighbour in future.[/quote]
Actually by your terminology you do state your opinion on “single occupants taking larger homes”. That comes through loud and clear. Otherwise you might have said people buying the homes that they want.
I certainly wouldn’t complain about normal family noise or purchase a several storey house as I age. But I would fucking object to someone deciding how I should spend my own fucking money. It’s as rude and intrusive and judgmental as people whining on about the number of children couples have.
I’m going to be moving into a 3 bed bungalow. A large one, designed to allow myself and my partner to stay there as we age. One I have built by my fucking self. Maybe I should give it up instead for more important people like your family and go and live in a fucking bedsit-having created a totally new house that adds to housing stock.

@thesilentstars I didn't deny it or get defensive, and I did ask her for information.

She wasn't able to give me anything other than it being between 6pm and 10pm.

If making a joke makes me vile then I'm the very worst. And I'm not sorry for that

@felifox I don't think anyone has said anything of the sort.

I would just carry on as usual and see what happens. I am willing to bet the noise is traveling from the neighbours on the other side given they were an issue for the previous occupants of your neighbours house.

@theshepherdscrown no thank you. I don't fancy a bungalow.

I couldn't give a flying fuck how you or anyone else spends their money. And I haven't stated my opinion. Nor will I do so.

You are clearly very sensitive and defensive about your own personal situation. That's your business. But don't throw it about in such an uncouth way on here. Quite frankly I couldn't give a shit about you building your own 3 bedroom bungalow. I hope you and your partner enjoy it.

Thank god its detached and your neighbours won't have to put up with you

TheShepherdsCrown
To be fair though it is unusual for a single, older person to move into a 3 storey family home in a family area, and even more unusual to make that move only to complain that your neighbours are families leading family life.

What was she expecting? To move from a detached bungalow to a 3 storey terrace in a family area and for the experience to be the same?

When the OP said they've never had a problem their new neighbour turns round and says 'well you have now', which like OP I find a large warning sign of a neighbour who would potentially be willing to be quite unpleasant.

Have the “a 70 year old can’t be threatening or trouble” crowd ever watched Nightmare Neighbours lol? If you’ve been privileged enough never to have to deal with shitty cunt neighbours good for you, until live with the sheer hell false accusations can cause I suggest you be thankful and more empathetic.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/neighbour-fried-fish-from-next-door-pond-179786.html%3famp

Age is irrelevant when it comes to being offensive

Thank you! I totally agree.

I've said it on here now until I'm blue in the face but she was not remotely polite or civil

She was rude and entitled from the moment I opened the door.

It took me aback actually.

As I've said, had she been even the slightest bit cordial i wouldn't be on here venting my annoyance.

We hear you OP.
Some people on here seem to think butter wouldn't melt once someone hits a certain age.

There are rude and confrontational people of all ages.

Fight fire with fire. Complain to her about the noise coming from her home. Claim there is banging and shouting at all hours - don't claim that there is a pattern to it, just that it is loud and sudden at any time of day or night. The sound of things being dragged across the floor, furniture being knocked over, swearing, people flinging crockery at one another.

It probably won't make a difference, but it might help you to portray her as the "crazy old woman" next door if the she goes to the council about you.

The delivery by a 70 year old woman has made you scared of what she’ll do next?

Rather patronising don't you think? Why is it that 70 has been chosen as the age when people's personalities change and they become 'elderly', 'doddery', 'frail', harmless' 'cute' etc. etc. I'm a carer and I can assure you that is not the case! The government might well have written off the over 70s but there's no excuse for us all doing it.

This is yet another of these situations that's best solved by conversation. OP, you say your DD isn't overly noisy but to your neighbour who's moved from a detached house, she might very well be. You're used to child-noise and she quite possibly is used to silence. I find many people with children learn to zone out (especially repetitious noises like banging and jumping) so perhaps she's hearing things you no longer notice? Surely an honest chat is a better idea than ignoring her from the outset? I realise you feel she was rude to you but I imagine she would say the same about you until you at least try to understand why she made the complaint in the first place. Surely this is the only course of action if you don't want it to escalate?

It probably won't make a difference, but it might help you to portray her as the "crazy old woman" next door if the she goes to the council about you.

Absolutely disgusting 'advice' @contrmary. You think this would be acceptable??

To those of you saying why is an older person in a terrace - have you seen the price of detached properties ??? Perhaps she's in a similar situation to us and needs spare rooms for kids at university. She sounds rude in her approach but nobody goes and bangs on the neighbours door if they have got no reason. My neighbours are very noisy (no kids) but I suspect if you ask them they wouldn't think so. Reasonable noise legally is a lot higher than some people would hope so I don't think op has any issues apart from a moany neighbour but the assumption here that noise is fine is concerning, really we should be insulating our houses to keep the noise within it (thankfully our new house is already done)

Sounds a bit odd

But are you sure you kid isn't throwing a ball/toys or something against the wall or something when you are not looking and that could be the source of the noise?

Or maybe does she have the wrong house and can actually hear noise coming from the other side?

I would assume there is something that she is bothered by but that maybe rather than thinking she is making this up just to be annoying.

@requinblanc I can promise you we don't leave our dd unattended for 4 hours a night to throw toys at the wall.

@Frankola do you know if the neighbours on the other side have been told they’re noisy too? Maybe it’s sounds being carried from that house but she possibly thinks it’s from your house?

This totally triggers me, having experienced similar in a temporary rental a couple of years ago. Elderly people in this case too, horrible, horrible people. Complaining about normal family noises. Phoned our landlady once at 3am to complain about the noise from us - which was us, a family of four, trying very quietly to leave the house for an early flight. They made me so miserable. Every time the doorbell rang I'd get an adrenaline rush. I still can't walk past the house where we lived when they were our neighbours. It makes me feel ill. All of which makes me sound like a snowflake, but I'm really not. I'm incredibly robust. But living in close proximity to horrible, selfish, unreasonable, rude people is really traumatic and seeps into every corner of your life. No advice other than good luck! (And keep records, which I'm sure has already been said on this thread)

go and live in a fucking bedsit-having created a totally new house that adds to housing stock

socialism, init? More and more people lke the idea (as they don't understand it properly nor care to learn), it seems. Not me! I don't think OP was really questining it though, she as just wondering.

*was just

do you know if the neighbours on the other side have been told they’re noisy too?

I understood that OP lives in a semi.

Tell her to jog on by
But I could loan you my Dd .... she is learning the bagpipes..... practises every day.... 😆
... I'm detached for which my neighbours are eternally grateful

I should add that every other resident in the building eventually told us that these people complained to them too. Including to one sweet Korean mother and daughter, about 'cooking smells' coming from their flat that wasn't even attached to theirs. Ie we weren't noisy, but they were horrible serial complainers. Which I suspect is the case for the OP's charming old lady next door ...