Husband is a very picky eater.

[frolicmum]

Hello, my husband is a very picky eater and would probably love a sandwich and oven food (chicken & chips etc) all week. It was the same when we met but we were 20, now 10 years later, I just want him to try more foods. I'm a veggie (been for years, this was already the case when we met).

I make a meal plan for every week which is on the fridge. If he doesn't eat what I cooked, I usually freeze it and DS can often have them unfrozen at some point for lunch and our yesterday's dinner for dinner next day. This is the meal plan for this week. I adjust and try to make things he likes as well:

Monday: chickpea masala (DH didn't eat this)
Tuesday: Veggie cottage pie (he just said, I won't eat that will I?)
Wednesday: take away (he can obvs order what he likes)
Thursday: creamy spinach and tomato pasta (he said he will eat this)
Friday: black bean Chili with rice (confirmed he won't eat this)
Saturday: bangers & mash (he will eat this)
Sunday: we always have a roast on Sunday and he eats most of it but only like carrots as veg.

Am i being unreasonable to be unhappy that he doesn't even try anything new?

He's a lovely man, father and husband, we are very happy but because I really enjoy cooking it's getting me down. Maybe it's because I'm hormonal because I'm pregnant 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just let him cook his crappy food and keep making your ds and you lovely meals

I am far from a 'picky eater' but I would only eat Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday tbh.

My partner is a very picky eater, he doesn't like "messy food" he just cooks for himself, it's really not an issue

It's not up to you to decide what your partner will or won't eat. You can't make someone adventurous when they aren't. I'm not particularly fussy but there are plenty of things DH eats that I definitely wouldn't and I would not be impressed if he continued to be irritated because I don't like something.

It doesn't sound like you want him to help or shop/cook more, just that you want him to be like you. He isn't.

As an omnivore, I think YABU to not include the recipe for Creamy Spinach & Tomato Pasta.

This is something you can put right immediately though.

My DH won't touch lamb or fish, which are my favourite things and it's a pain. DS2 also loves fish and lamb. So I usually wait until he's away, rare now as he's wfh.

But he does the 'suspiciously poking' with a fork and it drives me mental! But he also knows I don't cook multiple meals, so if he's hungry then he has to eat it. Did a W.African peanut stew last night and he had conniptions But then said it was lovely after I made him try it.

My first husband only ate pasta with butter. That was it, unless we went out for pizza, then he'd have garlic bread with cheese. If I didn't see his posts on fb occasionally I'd've thought he'd be dead from lack of , well everything!

DS1 ( aspie) would only eat yellow food until he left home and set up house with his gf. Now he loves cooking and experimenting. DS2 won't touch veggies, but as he's still at home, he eats what he's given. I just treat him like a toddler and hide the veg. (He's 20!)

Seriously picky eaters drive me mental. I unfortunately will eat anything so am having to eat low carb to control my weight.

My solution was to simply stop cooking for dh. It made our lives much easier. Sometimes we eat separately, sometimes he cooks for both of us. He also knows that on the rare occasions I do make him something, that critiquing it for natural variations (aka I liked it better when you made it on November 11th 2003) will mean the dish is added to the not willing to make for him again list.

@Pinkyandthebrainz

You married him

Yes, we can deduce that from the word 'husband'. What's your point?

@MargosKaftan

oh and anyone making being into cooking for the family as their passion and hobby risks this disappointment when other people in the household have their own tastes and preferences.

(You do need to be prepared for when DS is older and decides he prefers what Daddy's having for dinner tonight to what you've made.)

As a keen cook I actually agree with this as per my post above.

I cook within the knowledge of the foods I know the family enjoy.

That's not to say we don't try new foods/recipes (we absolutely do) but I'm not going to put tripe on the table and expect them all to eat it.

I'm guessing the issue is he doesn't like veggie food. It took me years to get exh to eat a veggie meal other than pasta to be honest (now he barely eats meat an aside) lentils, beans, pulses etc are an acquired taste due to texture. Will he eat "fake" meat eg quorn "chicken" enchiladas, I had success with them

Sorry to post again, thinking about this more - you frame it as your DH being a very picky eater who likes "something bunged in the oven and chips" or a sandwich - but he eats currys, pasta dishes, a range of different potatoes, different meat cuts, some veggies...

Is it he just doesn't like what you are making?

Maybe as again your meal plan - would he eat a different curry on Monday night? chick pea masala doesn't sound very nice. Would he consider making a meat curry to eat alongside yours?
The veggie cottage pie - does he like normal cottage pie? Is it the meat subsitute that's the problem? (to be fair, I love a cottage pie, but haven't had a veggie one that didn't taste a bit rubbish)
The chilli, would he eat a normal chilli con carne? What about other mexican foods?
What pasta sauces will he eat? (and do ask if they are made with meat, what would he like)
what other meals? Are there any chinese/thai dishes he'll have?

It's just having dealt with real fussy eaters, he doesn't sound that fussy, but just he doesn't like the same things as you.

I can imagine that it is tough to want to share food that you love with someone who just isn't interested. But, as a fellow picky eater, I can confirm that it is not just about being stubborn or childish - like a PP I also have serious aversions to some tastes (though different from your DH) and really do not want to eat some foods. Over time, DH and I have found a shared menu that includes things that we both enjoy.

As PP have said, you are also a picky eater (since you don't eat meat) so really this is more about his (limited) choices not aligning with your (limited) choices. If you want to cook more interesting food, perhaps you could look at recipes together and find something that both of you would like (or, at least, that he seems willing to try) rather than imposing your tastes on him?

Is he five?

I couldn't be fucked with this. I hate picky eaters even when it's children; fussy adults are beyond the pale AFAIC.

Saying things like 'I won't eat that will I?' sounds to me like he's just decided he's fussy and is sticking to it, rather than having genuine issues with feel/taste/spice or whatever.

My advice? Let him cook for himself and crack on and make the food you like for yourself.
And anyone who's going to say 'Everyone's allowed their preferences',
the list the OP gives sounds like quite a good range of food and 'types' of food to me (curry things, oven comfort food, pasta, chili, sausages, roast and veg). Of this list, some of them are on my 'favourites' list and some not, but there's not one I'd turn down if someone else had made it for me.

I agree with @MargosKaftan.

chick pea masala doesn't sound very nice. What? Obviously I can't speak for this specific one, but generally these are lovely.
I love a cottage pie, but haven't had a veggie one that didn't taste a bit rubbish You just haven't had a nice one; they're not unenjoyable by definition.

What would happen if he had to do all the meal prep (notice how I didn't say 'cooking') for a month when DC2 arrives?
Would he get bored? Worry you were malnourished?
Could this be worth a try, so he is in the role of food provider and nourisher rather than having minimal control when just being handed a plate of food? Put him on the other side.

I do wonder to what extent it might be texture - I don't like chickpeas or large beans so that might well be a common denominator in the 3 meals he rejected (depending on what is in your veggie cottage pie).

I think if he’s not a vegetarian and he doesn’t particularly like vegetables, this is pushing it a bit too far for him. I’m not a fussy eater but I don’t particularly enjoy the texture of chickpeas or lentils so whilst I could eat them, I would never choose to.
Instead of chickpea masala for him, why can’t you shred up a chicken breast in it instead of chickpeas? Instead of veggie shepherds pie, one with lamb or beef in? That way he would get some healthier home cooked food in him rather than oven food all the time.

I caught a bit of a programme last night which was interesting. It was about a less well-known eating disorder caller ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder). It's when people (children and adults) only eat very limited types of foods and other foods, even those which seem quite normal to most people can cause severe fear and repulsion - a bit like most non-fussy eaters eating something like jellied eels or something.

Worth thinking about, but your DH could just be a fussy eater of course!

But @IntermittentParps - that's the problem. She's drawing up a list in advance, he's telling her which days he'll make his own food. He's not expecting her to cook meals he likes. He's happy to make his own stuff.

The problem is the OP doesn't want to factor in his food choices, but also doesn't want him to eat separately. He's not trying to change what she's cooking, just saying he'll sort his own meals on the nights he doesn't like what she's planning.

(And I do think being veggie is pretty fussy too...)

My DH is an extremely restricted eater - as is my 14yo DS, sometimes I wonder if they're connected but DS is Autistic and restricts based on smell, taste and texture.

DH just won't eat pasta, vegetables (except mashed potato/chips), fruit, anything with vegetables in it or creamy foods with no explanation other than I don't like them... I used to like cooking but now DH does his own if he won't eat what I'm cooking and DS has a 7 day meal plan that repeats over and over.

It's expensive and a PITA to supply 3 meals some nights but I can't be arsed with eating the same bland food over and over again!

@frolicmum The thing is you’re cooking meals you want to eat, you’re cooking them as you enjoy cooking and then you complain your DH doesn’t have the same tastes as you and doesn’t share in the foods you like eating.

I only like a couple of veg (carrots and peas pretty much it). My husband doesn’t seem bothered by this. Why are you?

I also am a fussy eater and don’t like lots of foods but the difference is my DH and I cook meals we both enjoy - not just him cooking what he wants and likes then kicking up a fuss if I don’t eat it as I don’t like it which he knew full well before cooking it....

I’m glad my DH isn’t like you.

(And I do think being veggie is pretty fussy too...)
That's just daft.

@MargosKaftan

Sorry to post again, thinking about this more - you frame it as your DH being a very picky eater who likes "something bunged in the oven and chips" or a sandwich - but he eats currys, pasta dishes, a range of different potatoes, different meat cuts, some veggies...

Is it he just doesn't like what you are making?

Maybe as again your meal plan - would he eat a different curry on Monday night? chick pea masala doesn't sound very nice. Would he consider making a meat curry to eat alongside yours?
The veggie cottage pie - does he like normal cottage pie? Is it the meat subsitute that's the problem? (to be fair, I love a cottage pie, but haven't had a veggie one that didn't taste a bit rubbish)
The chilli, would he eat a normal chilli con carne? What about other mexican foods?
What pasta sauces will he eat? (and do ask if they are made with meat, what would he like)
what other meals? Are there any chinese/thai dishes he'll have?

It's just having dealt with real fussy eaters, he doesn't sound that fussy, but just he doesn't like the same things as you.

Couldn’t agree more. I wouldn’t eat at least 3 days of that menu as I don’t like meat substitutes, pulses or beans and no one has ever complained I’m a picky eater!

@IntermittentParps it is fussy. Maybe DH menu would be like this:

Monday: steak with carrots and mashed potato
Tuesday: Chicken curry and rice
Wednesday: jacket potato with cheese and bacon
Thursday: takeaway
Friday: lamb cutlets with carrots and rice

How much of this would the @frolicmum eat as a veggie? As a fussy eater I’d eat all of the above menu. The ops menu not so much.