To not give him a son

[headlingfortrouble]

Name changed for this.
I have 2 beautiful daughters with my husband and he would desperately like to have a son.

I know he really wanted a boy last time and was disappointed when we had another girl although to be honest although I didn't mind as long as we had a healthy child I was glad we had 2 girls close in age as they are great together.

Anyway dh keeps saying he wants a son and we should try one more time but I know he only wants a son and although he says he will love another girl regardless I have said NO based on him only wanting another child because it's one more shot at it being a boy.
He says I'm being unfair and denying him the chance of a son if I don't agree to trying one more time who is being unreasonable here?

Both of you, you could have a few more girls.
Why the need/ want fir a boy?

Neither of you are bu.

Why exactly is he so fixated on having a boy?

Sadly some men have this need for a son, and some women for a daughter.

I have two girls, I would have liked a son but there’s never a guarantee and we could have 10 girls before a boy. If you tried once more and it was a girl would he be happy to give up? Probably not

Awkward. I can see both sides. Do you want another child? It's your body. When you know the answer then deal with the what if it's not a boy with him. Why does he desperately want a son?

Remind him that it is his sperm that decides the sex of his DC and that given you have two girls already your not willing to put yourself in a position of being dissappointed that he cannot produce boys....

Is he Henry the Eighth? I think it's really unfair to guilt trip you for saying no to another pregnancy/baby and if he was disappointed about your second, I find it hard to believe he wouldn't be about a third. Also, no one should pressure their partner into having a baby, ever!? He is being unreasonable.

He is.
You have two healthy children and presumably that was the plan.
So why risk your health and the health of any new baby for a lower than 50% chance of a son?
Particularly since personality isn't dictated by genitalia. Your potential son could be completely disinterested in what your DH imagines he would be doing with a son.

My friend is one of 8 girls and they are all acutely aware they aren’t the wanted boy. Very sad.

He says he doesn't know why it means so much to him, just that he really wants a son.

Mother nature denied him a son, you're not some baby machine rolling out kids till a boy turns up.

Of ffs. He doesn’t sound mature enough to have any children. How dare he suggest putting you through pregnancy and childbirth knowing he’ll only be happy if the baby has a penis. I hope your second daughter doesn’t know her dad wishes she’d been a boy.

I'm with you, I wouldn't want to deliberately conceive a child with a man who had such a strong preference for a son (or a daughter, of it was reversed). The stakes are too high.

How is it both of them? How can she be unreasonable to not want to get pregnant?

A friend of mine has five girls. Just saying OP!

So what would happen if you get pregnant again, and it turns out to be another girl? Will he want you to keep going until you get the boy?

My second thought on giving birth to DC2 was "thank fuck he's a boy" as I knew DH really wanted a boy.

I couldn't cope with having a third. He knows and supports this. If DC2 had been another (much loved) girl, DH would have had to get over it to be quite frank.

I can’t believe people have sympathy for him. Ridiculous.

@borntohula sorry but Henry the Eighth made me laugh.
I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. It's your body. You're the one who has to do all the graft making the baby and making sure they are healthy.

Awkward. I can see both sides.

I honestly can't see the side of the person who wants to have a child just because they hope it would be of a particular sex and I struggle to see why anyone would?

You're absolutely right, OP - don't bring another child into the world to 'give him a son'. It's not just the possibility of him being disappointed in a third daughter and her realising - though that's obviously a real and sad possibility. It's also that if he does have a son he'll have an impossible weight of expectation on him. People like this also have a fixed idea of what it would be like to have a child of a particular sex (is he imagining football and pub trips?) but children are people, not stereotypes.

Who is he? Henry the 8th??

No he has said he wants to try one last time and if it's a girl he'll accept it wasn't meant to be. He's been saying this for a long time and I just don't hear the end of it.

Haha just seen Henry has already been mentioned by a PP

I think this is insulting to your existing children who aren’t good enough. Presumably he wants a stereotype of a boy.

Is he Henry the Eighth?

😂😂😂

@Pebbledashery it's the whole 'giving him a son' thing. It's his own sperm that determines the sex of their babies!