To think he's being dramatic?

[DramaInPyjama]

H is sulking because apparently I 'dont care about his kids'

I have had a horrible week of no sleep, not sure why but I can't sleep at the moment. I am so tired.

It got to about 4pm today and I said I had to go and lie down. I asked him not to wake me.

His DC were coming round at around 5:30. He came upstairs at 6, woke me up by turning the light on and started asking me to come downstairs, telling me the kids were here, come say hello, spend time with us and so on...

I was so mad, I was finally asleep and now I was being pestered to get up so when he said 'the kids are here now' I snapped and just replied 'And? I don't care!' and turned the light of to go back to sleep.

I am usually very involved but I just needed this rest and no, I didn't care that the kids had turned up, they are well old enough to be told I'm not feeling great so was asleep (and couldn't give less of a shit if I go and say hello).

Apparently now I don't care about the kids, am rude for not saying hello, don't want to see them etc...

I think its pretty over dramatic to make such a big fuss about being woken in the middle of the day

She. Had. Not. Slept. For. A. Week.

I think its pretty over dramatic to make such a big fuss about being woken in the middle of the day

Someone else who lacks comprehension skills.

She wasn't just having a nap, she was exhausted to the point of tears due to a week of insomnia. She was finally getting some much needed sleep when her selfish husband chose to ignore her perfectly reasonable request not to be disturbed and woke her up. OP was not being overdramatic in her response.

Lots of people on this thread who have never had insomnia. How lucky you are.

DH to OP - it’s 4 now the DCs will be here in about an hour.

OP to DH - ok I’m knackered so I’m going to go bed now.

DH let her sleep for 2 hours then went to wake her up saying his DC were there.

OP - I don’t care!!

Most people who are going to bed at 4 in the afternoon because they’re knackered aren’t planning to sleep 16 hours straight. DH was probably thinking after a 2 hour nap she would want to wake up and have dinner and then have an early night as if she hadn’t been sleeping at night the worst thing to do would be to sleep during the daytime.

All she had to say was I will be down later or make it clear that she wasn’t planning to come out of her room from 4pm onwards. Which DH would have probably said why don’t you wait until DC get here and we’ll have dinner and then you have an early night.
I can’t see how OP could get annoyed with him for that.

She specifically asked him NOT to wake her.

@Flutter12 have you ever had insomnia?

Flutter is like one of those small, annoying yappy dogs that just doesn't shut up. She's not going to back down in any way whatsoever now.

DH let her sleep for 2 hours then went to wake her up saying his DC were there.

He “let” her? After she had been in tears to him about how tired she was? After she specifically told him not to wake her up? He “let” her sleep until he decided it was time for her to wake up, come downstairs and spend time with his children.

What a prince. @Flutter12 you’re managing to make him sound more unreasonable with every post.

@chocolatesaltyballs22

Flutter is like one of those small, annoying yappy dogs that just doesn't shut up. She's not going to back down in any way whatsoever now.

A case for rehoming if ever there was one

@Flutter12

1. Extreme tiredness caused by the level of insomnia the OP is referring to is not "feeling knackered" - at its worst, it can feel physically painful and for me has actually resulted in me throwing up (probably more traumatic for the SC to see than not being there at all...).

1. In such circumstances, you don't plan to sleep for an allocated time. You crash out and sleep as long as your body needs.

1. OP asked her DH not to wake her. That's quite a clear request. What he thinks she wants is not the priority here. OP has the right to make her own decisions with regard to her health and wellbeing and a loving partner respects those. Yes, she responded sharply (many would in such circumstances) but the fact is, he didn't listen to his partner's needs. It's likely this is more a (hopefully) uncommon moment of thoughtless on his part, like her response was (hopefully) an uncommon lashing out due to her feeling like complete grot.

Flutter is either the first wife or the father 🤣

OP your Husband is a selfish Prick 🌺

He “let” her? After she had been in tears to him about how tired she was? After she specifically told him not to wake her up? He “let” her sleep until he decided it was time for her to wake up, come downstairs and spend time with his children.

Omg this is just getting ridiculous now!

She slept for 2 hours so yes he let her sleep for 2 hours before waking her. Not that she needed his permission but that is how you say it there is no other way for me to describe so stop with the pathetic constant man bashing.

@Flutter12 have you ever had insomnia?

No I haven’t but I still know the absolute worst thing you can do is nap during the day. Any doctor or sleep specialist will tell you that.

But I guess it’s the mans fault because he woke her up even though he knew that her insomnia will be worse if she naps for too long.

@Flutter12 Insomnia is characterised by struggling to get to sleep. So no, the worst thing she could do isn't go to sleep in the afternoon and sleep through until the next day. The worst thing to do is go to sleep briefly and then be woken up, making it extremely unlikely you will be able to get back to sleep as your body is already partially rested and you were lucky to get to sleep the first time.

Relaxing your mind enough to get to sleep twice is not likely to happen. The more conscious you that you are failing to get the sleep you need, the more stressed you are, the less likely it is you will sleep. When I had insomnia, once the realisation set in that I was struggling to get to sleep that was it, I was stuck lying in a depressive state for the whole night feeling like the walls were closing in on me.

Passing out early and naturally sleeping through is an absolute god send. The worst thing for OPs insomnia is exactly what happened, thanks to her husband. And no, I'm not saying that because I'm a "man basher", I often stand up for men on here.

It wasn't a "nap". She is experiencing disordered sleep and is exhausted to the point of tears.

If someone had not eaten for a few days would you make them wait for dinner time so they don't spoilt their appetite?

The accusations of man hating are misguided; his sex is irrelevant. You seem unable to accept that a woman might not be besotted by some children who are not hers, and are being looked after in their own home by their father.

Just want to massively thank Flutter for the entertainment of reading this thread in my lunch break, i needed a good laugh
My mum ( was a single parent) is terrible for sitting down and falling asleep in the afternoons infront of the tv. I cannot even count the amount of times i came home from school and she was snoring on the couch.
An hour might have passed before she even woke up, do i feel deeply deprived that she wasn't there to greet me at the door smiling and holding out baked goods that she'd slaved over to make sure i felt welcome????? Err no!

Clearly Flutter doesn't understand life doesnt always revolve around children, i had the flu once and my DM had to look after my DC for 3 days because i was too ill to deal with anything, ill ask him later if he feels scarred from the fact i couldn't put him first when i was on my death bed (literally i swear it was man flu!)

Might also get the balloons and bunting out to greet him home from school tonight so he knows how excited i am that he's home...........

It doesn’t take long to do a quick search of the NHS website to show that napping or sleeping in makes insomnia worse.

@Flutter12

DH to OP - it’s 4 now the DCs will be here in about an hour.

OP to DH - ok I’m knackered so I’m going to go bed now.

DH let her sleep for 2 hours then went to wake her up saying his DC were there.

OP - I don’t care!!

Most people who are going to bed at 4 in the afternoon because they’re knackered aren’t planning to sleep 16 hours straight. DH was probably thinking after a 2 hour nap she would want to wake up and have dinner and then have an early night as if she hadn’t been sleeping at night the worst thing to do would be to sleep during the daytime.

All she had to say was I will be down later or make it clear that she wasn’t planning to come out of her room from 4pm onwards. Which DH would have probably said why don’t you wait until DC get here and we’ll have dinner and then you have an early night.
I can’t see how OP could get annoyed with him for that.

And if 'D' H had said that he would have been told to Fuck Off and parent his own children for one bloody night!

She didn't need to get his permission or be told by him how she was to manage her unwellness.

Not that she needed his permission but that is how you say it

Correct - she didn’t need his permission.

That is only “how you say it” if that is what you mean. He let her sleep until he no longer allowed it. He withdrew permission.

Another way to say it (if you don’t want to imply any notion of permission) would be, “He didn’t wake her up until she had been asleep for two hours.” Still not great is it?

It’s not “man-bashing.” This particular man was in the wrong and OP is not unreasonable to think so.

@Flutter12

It doesn’t take long to do a quick search of the NHS website to show that napping or sleeping in makes insomnia worse.

Yes. If you nap every bloody day!

But if you're so exhausted you can't keep going then you go to bed and at worst, just rest and at best actually go to sleep!

Flutter, that's for long-term, chronic insomnia. Not recovery after a brief period of insomnia.

Posters need to stop engaging with the yappy dog desperate for attention.

Literally ignore every yap. Act like the posts aren't there. It'll stop the me-railing.

OP knew how she felt and what she needed, and knows her stepchildren. Yet it seems Flutter is arguing that OP's DH knows better than OP does what her body needs, and that Flutter herself knows these children and OP's relationship with them better than OP does.

It doesn’t take long to do a quick search of the NHS website to show that napping or sleeping in makes insomnia worse.

He didn’t wake her up to help her insomnia. He woke her up to come and spend time with them despite being asked not to.

IF the OP had been “I went to sleep at 4pm after instructing my husband not to wake me up but it made my insomnia worse. AIBU to be pissed off with him?” the answer would be, “Of course YABU! He did exactly what you asked!”

But that’s not the OP so again it’s irrelevant.

Why on earth the likes of Flutter think they know what's best for OP better than she knows herself is baffling. It wasn't a nap, it was an early night. She wasn't tired, she was suffering from sleep deprivation, which I believe will kill you before starvation will. It's serious. It's not up to the husband to 'let' her sleep for two hours because he decided that that was appropriate and that she should greet and eat with his children. By the way, there are other ways of describing it, such as 'left her to sleep'. Or made sure the kids were quiet and he was entertaining them.so that she wouldn't be disturbed.
Why does the OP have to have other people deciding when she would sleep for her? She knows her body better than anyone and it is up to her to decide when she needs to sleep, not her husband or Flutter or anybody else.

It doesn’t take long to do a quick search of the NHS website to show that napping or sleeping in makes insomnia worse.

Good Lord Flutter you really do struggle with comprehension don't you? It WASN'T a nap. The OP had gone to bed for the night because her body told her it's what she needed to do.