DH feels belittled by the way I talk

[Whatisthishit]

..because I have a wider vocabulary than he has.

If we are having a debate or disagreement he feels belittled because he doesn't know the meaning of some of the words I use.

AIBU to think that's his problem and I shouldn't change the way I talk?

@EKGEMS

Those are basic words everyone should know. He should make the effort to expand his vocabulary by reading. Surely he doesn't want to go through life not understanding how to communicate with different people?

It sound like he's embarrassed about his lack of vocabulary and rather than do something about it, he is taking it out on you.

It probably does stem from embarrassment that he doesn't understand the meaning of the words, but he implies that me using them belittles him.

It takes two seconds to Google the meaning but I'm happy to explain anyway.

I agree with those saying he should make an effort to expand his vocabulary. He's going to come across people far more "intellectual" than I am and if his M.O is to accuse them of belittling him then he's in for a difficult life.

What's his issue now? Surely you haven't changed how you talk since becoming f married?

Are there other issues?

I think he was attracted to my so called intelligence at the beginning but now finds it frustrating.

I feel ridiculous even saying these things as I'm far from a genius.

YANBU. He doesn't know the words correlation or ambiguous?!

"He is fantastic with numbers, I'm mediocre at best. I wouldn't dream of telling him I feel belittled by the fact he's better at mathematics than I am so I do find it upsetting how my very basic, normal vocabulary is weaponised in an argument."

OP You need to tell him to stop right now! He is deliberately undermining you. The beginning of the end.

He sounds like a prat. Does he always have to be better than everyone else, is that his problem?

Divorce this insecure man child.

Those are completely bog standard words. He’s being ridiculous.

My guess is he does it when he’s losing the argument to detract!

@Whatisthishit

He genuinely doesn't know what those words mean, they're just a few examples but he often stops me to say he doesn't know what the word means so then I rephrase it.

There is a marked difference in emotional intelligence yes, however he at least completed school and went to college which is more than can be said for me.

He is fantastic with numbers, I'm mediocre at best. I wouldn't dream of telling him I feel belittled by the fact he's better at mathematics than I am so I do find it upsetting how my very basic, normal vocabulary is weaponised in an argument.

My DH is a maths & 'measuring' whiz, I'm a dunce. But I have a much bigger vocabulary and better spelling and grammar than he has. He asks me to spell or define a word, I ask him to figure out square footage or how long or far away something is (he's really amazing at measuring accurately 'by eyesight'). We're proud of each other's abilities and utilize each other's 'strengths' constantly.

I think your DH is extremely insecure. And that you're probably a better 'arguer' than he is.

Maybe hes just thick?
Those are completely normal words. Its not your fault if he has the vocabulary of a 9 year old. What on earth made you marry him?

Why should you feel bad for having a wide vocabulary just because he doesn’t have one? My ex was like this too and I used to avoid using words such as ‘precarious’ as he had no idea what I was on about. He should try and learn from you. Same way you learned them from others.

My 11 year old knows those words and my 6 year old would know ambiguous, though not petulant but only because I don't have cause to use that one often so he's not heard it regularly.

Your DH should do some wider reading and broaden his vocabulary.

Responsibility for the good communication lies with the communicator not the audience.

I say YABU. Even if that means having to dumb it down for him.

My DH has genuinely been told he speaks like a thesaurus . According to my MIL he's always been like it.
There are times I don't know some of the words he's using even though I'm technically 'better' educated than him.
I think it's a good thing. Our 5 year old's vocabulary is amazing. He told me he'd 'literally obliterate' me when pretending to be Thanos the other .

Sorry , just read up thread a bit. My opinion would stand if you were throwing about uncommon words but ‘ambiguous’?! I take it back YANBU

I have the impression, and that is quite permitted, that you do think by spouting words- which you yourself may be using incorrectly, by the way-you are trying to steamroller him.

Basic communication does not need abstruse words, or your (self appointed) immense vocabulary.

Maybe when he gets more fed up with your condescension, he will get up and go.

Or as you might put it "review the validity of the status quo of the ongoing relationship and determine that its future potential is likely to be unrewarding, thus necessitating a discontinuation in the mutual interest of the participating parties".

If you used simple words no doubt he'd accuse you of being patronising and talking down to him.

@Georgeofthejungle

Responsibility for the good communication lies with the communicator not the audience.

I say YABU. Even if that means having to dumb it down for him.

This

I hate arguing with someone who tries to “win the argument” even if that is to the detriment of actually resolving the issue.

Do you want to win or resolve?

I suspect its his way of detracting from the fact that he is losing the argument. I bet he never says this if you concede that he is right does he?

My ex would do this, or accuse me of sarcasm and make the argument about that instead of whatever it was we were arguing about (and he knew he was in the wrong).

Although yes, the specific examples you quoted I would at are everyday words.

*say

@Whatisthishit

To give some examples of the things he's referring to..

Petulant
Correlation
Ambiguous

Just standard words. Nothing extreme.

They're just standard words. He's being a dick. Do you do different types of job or earn more than him?