To ask what’s the most toe curling OTT boast/showing off you’ve heard from a parent about their child?

[Rainbowb]

Just seen a FB post from a mum friend boasting about her 9yo daughter doing online dance and gym sessions via zoom and practising for her 11 plus complete with picture of said child sat at her desk and smiling for the camera. Hope the child gets time to chill out now and then! Mum obviously needs us all to believe her daughter is a high achiever! It was so cringy though and I wondered if anyone else out there was biting their lip at stuff like this?!

I saw someone boast that their ds was a typical over achiever at school and naughty, just like they were.
A nice double boast for parent and child I thought. The mother is most definitely not an over achiever.

She comes out with the funniest witty comments and I have nobody else around me to share them with, so I post them online. I probably won't as much, having read this thread, as I feel a bit stupid that my friends might be commenting on this thread about me!

No, that's fine. It is in the here and now and will probably amuse your friends as well. (I have a friend with a quirky son and I really enjoy his sayings). It is the parents who go on to extrapolate their child is some kind of genius and will probably end up as a lawyer or doctor or prime minister or some such that are the problem.

CecilyP
True, or parents who don't realise that a funny story is amusing, but after 6 posts/tales all about how hilarious their child is most people fall into 'that's nice' territory.

One of my friends shares cool videos if her daughter masters a tricky move at gymnastics. That's lovely. If we got an update from every other session about how great DD is at gymnastics then it becomes silly bragging.

It's not just toe curling, competitive parenting highlights low self-esteem. I feel sorry for the DCs involved, the pressure they are in to fix or maintain their parents' egos must be hard to carry.

@OrigamiPenguinArmy you are right there. DS1 has learning difficulties and found school very hard. He never did get any GCSE's above a F. I found all the Facebook stuff on results days (several due to all the fruitless resits) really hard actually as it is just a reminder of how much DS struggles. That probably is my issue to deal with but people can be really tactless. Even now he has done nothing that most people would consider boast worthy, he is not in work or at uni or excellent at sports but he's a nice lad and volunteers for a charity in non covid times.

Children can be cruel to each other. When I just passed my 11+ one of my classmates said to me that she thought I would be better off in a secondary school. She meant it to be insulting. She passed with flying colours of course.

Parenting is a weird thing. You have to tread so carefully around other parents. I have a child that was born easy/nice/good. Lucky me! But I have to be so careful around other parents in conversation. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had to exaggerate his bad behaviour etc to not come across superior. I can’t really relate to any of the behaviour that stresses other parents out (yet- only 9 years old) but I’d never dare admit that in real life because otherwise I’d probably be called smug.

New same. Also with Dhs remember in NCT days the others sitting round bemoaning their crap dhs mine is amazing felt I needed to make up some crimes to fit in.

New I've got two like yours where everything came easy and one who is the exact opposite so I wouldn't think you were being smug if you spoke about your own experience unapologetically. If it's true then it's valid!
Having said that, I kind of tune out to baby chat or kid chat as I find it boring. I could never get out of the doctor's waiting room quick enough when taking the children for vaccinations because of the other parents wanting to talk endlessly about that stuff.

[quote DrCoconut]@OrigamiPenguinArmy you are right there. DS1 has learning difficulties and found school very hard. He never did get any GCSE's above a F. I found all the Facebook stuff on results days (several due to all the fruitless resits) really hard actually as it is just a reminder of how much DS struggles. That probably is my issue to deal with but people can be really tactless. Even now he has done nothing that most people would consider boast worthy, he is not in work or at uni or excellent at sports but he's a nice lad and volunteers for a charity in non covid times.[/quote]
I would much rather have produced a kind person who is thoughtful to other people than some of the highly academic horrors that I see paraded on FB.
Your DS sounds lovely.

I come to give the perspective of said " Perfect child"...my DM is just so proud of all my little accomplishments that she can't help but tell all how I continually amaze her....and I'm in my 60's for goodness sakes🤣... I continually ask her to PLEASE stop telling people what I have done for her throughout the day when I have visited....I finally told her. " I hate that Sweetpea1532! And I'm tired of hearing about every little thing she does!!!"
But my DM continues because she is just so amazed at me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 When you got it, I guess you've got it! 🙄

Just opened my mail today and found this lovely card from DM....attaching a photo in case any of you thought I was exaggerating with my pp🤣🤣🤣.
My DM is so amusing!

Of course, she keeps forgetting how she tells me how I NEVER listen to any of her advice, etc.

And there's the time over 35 years ago we were having a long distance phone conversation and she asked me where my then 2year old DD was...I told her DD was taking a nap whilst curled up near me...we finished the conversation but I got a ring back from my DM about 15 minutes later...she asked if DD was alright...I told her DD was just fine and asked her why she wanted to know.....WAIT FOR IT, READER....she was calling to make sure that DD wasn't passed out from low blood sugar since I'd probably forgotten to feed her!!! She'll never, ever, ever live that one down because
I continually remind her when she tells me what a perfect mother I was and still am.
Gotta love her, though...she's my biggest fan

Many years ago I met a first time mum who told everyone that couldn't get away that even changing dirty nappies was such a pleasure because her daughter did perfect little sculptures.

I’m guilty of this. My DC is 3 and non verbal. Two days ago he said ‘I want coke, not clear stuff!’ He’s never said anything other than occasional babbles

There's a SLIGHT difference between doing this and claiming that "Clarissa can already read and write at 2 and begins piano lessons next week"

@Sweetpea1532 your mum is ADORABLE.

Oh God. My mother sued to make me perform recitals for visitors on my flute. She was very boasty about me- to other people. To me she called me a horrid little brat and said she had no idea what she had done in a previous life to deserve me. To others it was endless boast. very wierd. And damaging.
Not the first time that I've heard of that. There are plenty of cases where the biggest performance parents outright ignore their children when not showing off for an unsuspecting bystander.

@Isoisoisolation

I think there is a difference. You can say well done Johnny for getting a medal in football/chess/gymnastics etc. Absolutely fine.

Also to praise them and sometimes I do it loudly too but not for others but to show my child how proud I am of them especially as they struggle with writing etc so yes I do make a big deal of it for their confidence.

The difference being I don't go around making up lies and over doing it by singing their praises to everyone walking past

But reading their work whilst waiting in the school hall I tend to say well done Timmy you have done amazingly well. Such a clever boy. It might be slightly loud as there are 60 other parents around and it's bloody loud. Plus I don't care if I'm judged. I'm not looking for their opinion

The other thing is when parents are putting down other people's children to elevate their own. Always trying to one-up.

Years ago BIL and I took our kids to one of those indoor play places. Niece and my son were standing side by side next to a ball pit; BIL and I were sitting at a table a distance from the kids, out of earshot. Niece, who took gymnastics, did a forward flip into the pit. BIL said to me, “I bet Cousin Adam can’t do that.” As we watched, my son, who didn’t take gymnastics, did a forward flip into the pit. I said, “Well, what do you know. Cousin Adam can.” The look on BIL's face was priceless. He was miffed and got up to go to the bathroom.

Oh God. My mother sued to make me perform recitals for visitors on my flute. She was very boasty about me- to other people. To me she called me a horrid little brat and said she had no idea what she had done in a previous life to deserve me. To others it was endless boast. very wierd. And damaging.

Very similar here (even down to it being flute). My mother, never, in her lifetime, praised any of her daughters to our faces. Not once. Or in any visible way, for that matter.

@BluebellsGreenbells aw don't worry she will get there

These are making me laugh but I cringe when I recall when I could have been accused of the same. For context, I have a ds who was the fussiest eater, really plain, mainly beige food was all that was acceptable for years and years despite my efforts. So along comes dd who was really adventurous with food and I was delighted. Her teacher in year one at our village school popped out as I was picking her up one evening and said that she hadn't eaten much lunch saying she didn't like it. I thanked her for letting me know and said I was surprised as she was my sushi and olive loving child. I think there could even have been a tinkly laugh and a head tilt involved. The teacher looked resignedly but slightly pityingly at me and said she would have to inform the chef. Utter mortification.

Lorddenning1

She gone back to drinking from a bottle, should I be worried?

@Footballer...I'll pass on your compliment to her! Thanks!

Oh, and I'm so proud of her exercise regimen! She walks around the house 15 times and lifts weights so she can hold

her darling great-grandchildren. Also she takes all vitamins twice
a day and also brushes and flossing teeth

@Notthetune

Definition of bragging: excessively proud and boastful talk about one's achievements and possessions.

I guess it depends on what you consider excessive. By all accounts ANY mention of a child’s achievements seems to be considered bragging and boastful on here. I mean, how do you unlock pride from boastful in a post saying “DD has done so well this term and got 10/10 in her spellings every week.” ?

The thing is, other than you and maybe your parents, no one else actually gives a flying monkeys about your daughters spellings. If you told me I'd say congrats or well done to not be rude but inside I'd be thinking who cares? I had a friend ask me why I didn't comment on her gushing status on her kids recent parents evening, well because frankly my dear I was embarrassed for you you'd stuck it all over Facebook 🤦🏻‍♀️

For me, boasting is the difference between posting achievements on FB for everyone to see and mentioning to friends if it happens to come up in conversation.

I'm not the Grinch, I'm genuinely pleased for kids if they do well, and would definitely say well done if I saw the child in person. But I assume that grandparents are the only ones likely to be interested in my kids' achievements so I stick to WhatsApping them.

Same for the gushing "I love my kids so much" type posts - my kids and husband know I love them because I tell them. I find it slightly odd to declare it to everyone on FB. Though I admit to a bit of a soft spot for seeing people's wedding photos and photos of their kids when they were younger.