To ask what’s the most toe curling OTT boast/showing off you’ve heard from a parent about their child?

[Rainbowb]

Just seen a FB post from a mum friend boasting about her 9yo daughter doing online dance and gym sessions via zoom and practising for her 11 plus complete with picture of said child sat at her desk and smiling for the camera. Hope the child gets time to chill out now and then! Mum obviously needs us all to believe her daughter is a high achiever! It was so cringy though and I wondered if anyone else out there was biting their lip at stuff like this?!

@HallieKnight

I'm confused. You think parents should keep their kid a secret and never talk to them in public?

There is an argument that you shouldn't be posting about your kids on social media until they are old enough to make that decision for themselves. I can understand that argument, though I have occasionally posted about ds' sporting exploits.

What are parents allowed to say on their social media accounts about their kids? Just curious...

We are allowed to say whatever we like. But we can’t expect to post implausible, gushing boasts about our children without being laughed at behind their back.

While a few of these are clearly weird batshit parents (the first tooth one made me laugh though), most just seem like normal parental pride, including the OP. Why shouldn't a parent post about child working on things online?

I assume you're sneering at "resilience" because clearly her son is too stupid to get anything else? Well, as a parent whose child has had to build resilience because it's true, he's never going to win the English, Maths or Science prize and everything is much harder for him, believe me, I've been pretty damn proud of him when the teachers tell me that his determination and resilience are impressive.

Personally, I don't put stuff like this up online, but I can easily imagine myself mentioning such things to people in passing if we're talking about the DC. Why is it not allowed to be proud?

I remember a friend from another country once telling me she finds sports day at her children's private school just so so weird. No one cheers the kids on and half the time they act like they aren't even watching. She said she is always the weird woman yelling for her children, her children's team, her children's friends, the child who's coming last but really trying etc. She can't get her head around this attitude that we shouldn't be celebrating the children's achievements, whether that's a win or just successfully completing the course.

*our backs

Haven’t seen a lot of this in real life.

Don’t know if this really counts but a few years ago one of my DC did a school topic on Healthy Eating and got a bit funny about ‘good’ foods and ‘bad’ foods, so needed a bit of reassurance around certain things - not eating too many bananas and so on. And one of them was the idea of pesticides being on our food.

Anyway, we took a bag of kale to the park for the ducks (who hated it, by the way) and without thinking I turned to DC and said ‘don’t worry darling, it’s organic kale’. I must have sounded like a complete dick 😂

Oh geez, yes. My SIL, especially on Facebook. I’m not on FB, but DH is. Years ago, when my nephew was 7 or 8, he was invited to a friend’s birthday party at one of those indoor play places.

When the kids sat down for lunch and pizza was served, nephew announced that he wanted sushi instead. SIL posted this proudly on FB, a one-liner like, “Little Johnny was at a friend’s birthday party today and when they served pizza, he said he wanted sushi.”

Clearly she was looking for accolades like, “Oh, what mature taste for such a young boy!” “Good for you for introducing him to new foods” etc. etc. But people were onto her, and what she got was, “Well, that was rude of him.” “So did the poor mom of the birthday boy have to run out and get him his sushi then?” and “He sounds high maintenance” (to which SIL’s mother responded, “You have no idea!”).

No kid will ask for sushi over pizza, so this means SIL clearly planned this and pulled nephew aside beforehand and told him what to say. Pathetic, really.

Someone I have had to unfollow on Facebook was guilty of so many of these. Child is the cleverest, kindest child going and he comes out with so many adult ideas and phrases that you just wonder where they come from 🤔 I really felt for this child though, as the most unflattering pictures of them have been posted. Look how much X had grown etc. When all that can be seen is, sadly, an extremely obese child who will look back in years to come with horror at the pictures of them all over the internet.
Don’t get me wrong, I post occasionally about my child, but only with their agreement and hopefully nothing that will come back to shame them in years to come.

No kid will ask for sushi over pizza, so this means SIL clearly planned this and pulled nephew aside beforehand and told him what to say. Pathetic, really.

I was going along with this story, agreeing the child was rude and the parent should have been embarrassed not proud, until the above sentence. Of course a child might prefer sushi to pizza. Or a child might have internalised the idea that at a party sushi is a better choice because that's what their parents have at parties. Or perhaps the child has started worrying about health etc and knows that sushi is better. (plus, if the child is anything like my DS, "sushi" may be eaten at a restaurant that serves raw fish but mostly he's eating the dumplings, the avocado rolls and the deep fried squid! It's all "sushi" to him).

Feeling a bit embarrassed as I think I've been guilty of the parents' evening pride. My DD was only 7 and had a tiger picture displayed in the school hallway that was truly impressive, she was awarded an art certificate for it, I think we were both loudly complimenting our DD but mostly as we thought she deserved the praise, equally, I don't think I was aware of anyone nearby. My natural personality is enthusiastic with my children and fairly smiley but I do curtail it as I know some people think you are fake.

*An ex friend said the teacher ran out of the school gates at home time to tell her that her son was simply the cleverest child she had ever had the pleasure to teach.

Yeah, that happened.*

@dayswithaY Actually, I think this could have (sort of) happened. My DH is a primary school teacher and if he has something awkward to discuss with a 'difficult' parent he will usually start with some gushing praise of their child. So your friend might be repeating the good part but keeping the awkward bit to herself. it might have been something along the lines of:
' Your DD is one of the cleverest children I have ever taught (etc etc) BUT does use a lot of foul language'

@Goldenbear

Feeling a bit embarrassed as I think I've been guilty of the parents' evening pride. My DD was only 7 and had a tiger picture displayed in the school hallway that was truly impressive, she was awarded an art certificate for it, I think we were both loudly complimenting our DD but mostly as we thought she deserved the praise, equally, I don't think I was aware of anyone nearby. My natural personality is enthusiastic with my children and fairly smiley but I do curtail it as I know some people think you are fake.

This is completely fine. You were talking to your daughter and of course she should know you are proud of her. If someone else hears you saying it and thinks its a dig at them, well..... An excellent old joke springs to mind:

Q: How do you know your friend is paranoid?
A: He attends a rugby match and when they go into the scrum he thinks they're talking about him.

Oh yes and my DD likes sushi another one where people think you are showing off. My DD hates beige food but I was the same. DD's friend's Mum remarked on how it sounds a bit like you are showing off as her DD only has plain taste. We know each other well so it was in s jokey way. My DD loves sweet stuff though, probably has far too much compared to others so that's not exactly something I would be proud of.

Oh and she certainly likes pizza and I wouldn't post on Facebook about it.

SpaceOp, good joke. I do think we were on our own.

No kid will ask for sushi over pizza

Why not? I agree it was rude to ask for something else when presented with pizza - he should just have left the pizza if he didn't want it - but I don't see what's so special about pizza that it trumps any other foodstuff. When I was a young child I wouldn't touch pizza because I didn't like the combination of cheese and tomato.

@OutOntheTilez

Oh geez, yes. My SIL, especially on Facebook. I’m not on FB, but DH is. Years ago, when my nephew was 7 or 8, he was invited to a friend’s birthday party at one of those indoor play places.

When the kids sat down for lunch and pizza was served, nephew announced that he wanted sushi instead. SIL posted this proudly on FB, a one-liner like, “Little Johnny was at a friend’s birthday party today and when they served pizza, he said he wanted sushi.”

Clearly she was looking for accolades like, “Oh, what mature taste for such a young boy!” “Good for you for introducing him to new foods” etc. etc. But people were onto her, and what she got was, “Well, that was rude of him.” “So did the poor mom of the birthday boy have to run out and get him his sushi then?” and “He sounds high maintenance” (to which SIL’s mother responded, “You have no idea!”).

No kid will ask for sushi over pizza, so this means SIL clearly planned this and pulled nephew aside beforehand and told him what to say. Pathetic, really.

I witnessed a similar thing in a pub restaurant. Dad made a big show of asking the waitress if she could substitute the chips on his DD's order with some kind of potato as she doesn't really like chips as they aren't healthy.

From the look on the daughters face (who wasn't even consulted prior to this) she definitely wanted chips.

One of my friends had a son who apparantly was a genius, very talented at everything, would become a doctor/dentist/famous painter/designer whatever. He had the best dress sense of everyone at school and was the kindest boy. Every negative thing that happened at school or in life wasn't ever his fault, and he wasn't corrected because he was always right.

The boy grew up into a man who didn't finish school, doesn't work, gets into trouble with the police and still lives at home. He is really kind though, I'll give you that but I don't think that his mums unrealistic expectations helped him. I think it hindered him. I think that being more realistic about achievements helps children grow up into well rounded individuals who know where their strengtgs lie and which weaknesses they should be aware of.

No point in telling parents this though. They won't listen if they already decided that their kid is perfect, and the others already get it. Just like it and scroll by.

My DD doesn't really like chips - oh dear! My teenage son certainly does though.

I follow DHOTYA (Didn't Happen Of The Year Awards) on twitter and they repost the most ridiculous parental boasts on there. Usually some kind of incredibly woke statement about American politics allegedly said from a 3 year old in the UK.

The worst example of parental boasting etc I've seen recently was during lockdown. A child in DS class has parents who are utterly convinced that their children are exceptional and should win every award possible (they been known to complain if she doesn't but that's another thread). The school uses a communication app that lets teachers post messages and parents can comment for the whole class to see. Every single school day for about 2 months the parent posted comments (usually irrelevant to the teacher's post) offering to send anyone who wants it a link to a set of Youtube videos she her DD was making to explain that week's school work for the benefit of the rest of the class and show examples of her work as inspiration. Not a single person ever responded and the school did not take up the offer of posting them on their website. Yet she still plugged it every day for weeks.

My dd would ask for sushi over pizza She just likes it

When parents boast about their super young kids saying proper words... which to everyone else are burps or grunts.!

I can hack Facebook posts but the family that get articles into the local free rag about their amazing gifted ds is a step too far. I know them (mores the pity) and he's the most selfish, arrogant brat I've had the displeasure of meeting, and that's the father! Not allowing your kid friends, not sending them to school and hothousing them is not doing them favours. Getting one gcse at 10 is of no use to the kid whereas being able to communicate with his peers and relating to human beings is useful.

I'm amazed that some people don't see the difference between a nice picture of your child doing something lovely and insinuating that said child is a rare and exceptional talent.