To find that “I’m an empath” actually means I’m a complete attention seeker

[Covidchameleon]

Ok I’m being bitchy. And grumpy. But have seen this twice today used by completely people to completely justify being a drama queen.

To be fair in general - I tend to find that anyone who self proclaims them self as any personality type then tends to proceed to be irritating.

Oh god is this the millennial version of ' I'm so spiritual' which also means ' I'm a self absorbed twat'?

It appears to be very similar. Also the types that will be absolute grief vampires when they get the chance.

I’ve found that the people who say they’re very self-aware are the ones with the least self awareness. It makes me smile (inwardly)

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes - true it’s like an emotion version of the Dunning Kruger effect

YANBU, I'm pushing 60 now and have learned over the years that when anyone tells you what they are like, you can pretty much guarantee they are the opposite.

Yes to all of the above.

@DefinitelyPossiblyMaybe unless they say “well I tell it straight” that’s code for “I’m an arsehole”.

I'm an anxious empath.

IME the problem with empaths is that the feelings that they are deeply in touch with tend to be their own.

Yes...usually narcissists!

@Porcupineinwaiting

IME the problem with empaths is that the feelings that they are deeply in touch with tend to be their own.

This hits the nail on the head!

God yes. My sister's an empath. As far as we can work out, this means that if anything bad happens to any of us, she gets so worried and upset that it either becomes all about her, or we are never allowed to mention our own suffering again.

Love her, but do wish there weren't encouraging names for this particular character trait.

That's sympathy not empathy. I'm autistic so do not empathise, only sympathise with something I've experienced

Or "highly sensitive person" - the person I know who described herself as such had the hide of a rhinocerous when it suited her.

I am one. Though I would never admit it out loud to anyone. It’s not a lot of fun in any case.

I mean I’ve just cried at watching some Tom Kerridge thing on pubs as I felt so badly for the pub owners (it felt like watching the Titanic as they don’t know what’s coming), does that make me an empath? Should I tell everyone how distressed I am on Facebook perhaps?

@yetanothernamitynamechange “highly sensitive” = easily offended

You're not. It's not a thing.

YANBU, people who describe themselves as "empaths" or "old souls" are usually total narcissists.

My hairdresser often says this about herself, seconds later she'll be gossiping and bad mouthing someone, she can't keep staff, she's as tough as old boots and is now providing hairdressing services in her customers homes cheating the covid lockdown and taking some shitty risks, she's so so sweet to peoples faces but not so much behind their backs, certainly not empathetic in my view but a damn good hairdresser.

@Porcupineinwaiting

IME the problem with empaths is that the feelings that they are deeply in touch with tend to be their own.

Yes! This.

This is along the lines of people who say things like

'I'm mad, me'
-Why because you threw a crisp into the air and caught it in your mouth?

'As you can see, I love clothes and jewellery'
-points to their bland leggings and top and very popular / fashionable earrings

'I love my holidays'

• oh really? You designed the concept of taking a break, going somewhere different ?

And most around this time of year;
' I love Christmas' said in a 'it's just me- no one else loves it like meeee' sort of way.

Clear off the lots of yers

You are not wrong.

Any self-proclaimed empaths I've met have as much empathy as a grumpy cat. It's all about them.

Can I add to the list people who describe themselves as 'needing to put themselves first more'?

I used to be like that, it felt like I could literally feel others emotions, lots of people couldn't understand why I'd be so upset because someone else is upset, I can't explain it other than I am a survivor of childhood abuse and my emotions we're all over the place. I've since had treatment for PTSD and Anxiety and whilst I'm still sensitive to others pain it no longer consumes me. It's something to do with having to learn early on to read people's (my abusers) moods maybe?

The point I'm trying to make is that in my case and probably many others it's not something that they do on purpose, believe me I wouldn't wish it on anyone.