To find that “I’m an empath” actually means I’m a complete attention seeker

[Covidchameleon]

Ok I’m being bitchy. And grumpy. But have seen this twice today used by completely people to completely justify being a drama queen.

To be fair in general - I tend to find that anyone who self proclaims them self as any personality type then tends to proceed to be irritating.

@ZoeTurtle

So what's the difference between someone who has empathy in the normal way and an "empath"?

One is a dickhead and one is not.

@ZoeTurtle

So what's the difference between someone who has empathy in the normal way and an "empath"?

Self promotion?

Picking up minute changes in body language, tone of voice, speech patterns. Being sensitive to the emotions of others or changes in atmosphere, especially when thinking they may have been caused by you. Or feeling somehow responsible for lightening the atmosphere. It's totally exhausting and limits how much social interaction I can deal with on a daily basis

As a PP has said, we all do this. Presuming you do it to an unhealthy degree- it isn't empathy, it's another concept called emotional contagion.

The ability to sense and respond to others feelings isn't unusual it is the feeling responsible for them, assuming you are the focus of those emotions and struggling to deal with others upset in an appropriate way.

These are all about your feelings, not your sensitivity to others. It's more likely to make you misunderstand others feelings than be very empathetic. The only way to address it is to understand your thoughts and feelings and deal with the unhealthy ones.

Yes! You are so right OP. What does it even mean to be 'an empath'...just that you feel empathy like most people do? You're not a psychopath...congratulations.

I am highly sensitive. Would I fuck tell anybody that in real life. I thought that it wasn't a good thing..? Why would you want people to know? I usually try and hide this aspect of my personality as much as possible

That is a little like saying to someone who's got clinical depression that 'everyone gets a bit sad sometimes', or talking about how we are all 'a bit OCD.'

@Frenchtrench

As someone who has clinical depression, it really isn't. You should try to have some empathy for those with genuine difficulties.

French trench, but depression and OCD have diagnostic criteria. There doesn’t seem to be any criteria for being an empath, just descriptions of people experiencing empathy in the same way as most other people do.

I'm absolutely certain there was a shampoo marketed at older ladies called Empathy.

I can see an Empathy makeup line.

Maybe she's born with it... Maybe it's make believe

Probably not as bad as people who describe themselves as "earth angels".

Probably not as bad as people who describe themselves as "earth angels".

I see that and raise you pansexuals.

Why did I google Earth Angels?
Nearly as bad as Dragon Butter

@donquixotedelamancha Telling someone that they do not or cannot have genuine difficulties because you can't see their point of view is also severely lacking in empathy.

As I said before, the word empath is here nor there, I've never used it in real life. Sometimes though, when you are looking for others who are like you a label can be useful. That isn't the same as telling the whole of FB how well you can understand other people's feelings, but this thread then went on to mock anyone who might identify as an empath or highly sensitive or whatever, regardless of how they expressed that (or not). I tried to explain it from a perspective of someone who identifies with the label for different reasons. I've had my fair share of being mocked about a health condition, so I guess I'm sensitive to that.

@Flowerblue

People who tend to be highly empathetic have sometimes been abused in childhood. Abused children have to be on extra high alert for anything which might harm them- they have to be extra good at tuning into the mood of their caregiver, picking up clues from face and body language. It’s a bit like being the deer in the herd that notices danger first. There’s nothing weird about it.

Absolutely that.

Being empathetic is a fantastoc trait for others benefit because they will talk to you and tell you too much, they will feel better by talking to you, you would be a gentle person and caring. It's a great quality and one that should be bigged up. The equivalent is people bragging that they 'tell it straight', 'get what you see', 'simple bloke' blah blah.
We all identify with some traits and we are the best to say who we are rather than wait for other to label us so if an empath says they are, can you just back off with the snideness? As pp said they usually are so following a traumatic childhood where their survival from abuse depended on their ability to detect danger (signs of a fight brewing, sensing when someone is about to flip) because they had to watch out for bursts of violence or similar.

Telling it straight covidmoron fml

The self examination is absent as usual.

30donquixotedelamancha Did you see the recent thread where someone announced she was a sapiosexual? Attracted to intelligence, apparently.

One can have empathy but being an “empath” is just a made up term. Those saying they are empaths are just trying to attract attention to themselves and make themselves a bit special.
I don’t subscribe to the Oxford English Dictionary. Can someone who does please post the definition of empath. Thanks.

@donquixotedelamancha

Probably not as bad as people who describe themselves as "earth angels".

I see that and raise you pansexuals.

Just had to google that. I think you win. The things you learn on MN.

Isn't there different types of empathy anyway?

I had a friend who'd cry and suffer insomnia every time refugees were featured on the news. If it was someone she didn't know, suffering in another country it would cause her deep distress. She donated to loads of causes. But that same person was quite happy to throw out her kid's favourite teddy because it's nose had been chewed a bit and "looked gross". Cue said kid asking forlornly what had happened to said teddy night after night, to which she'd answer, shame-facedly, "uh... I don't know".

Same person had a family member absolutely shitting themselves, because they'd used the same parking machine the Skripals' had in Salisbury and the Government was advising them to burn their clothes because they didn't know, at that point, if it had been contaminated too. Did she empathise? Not really. She responded by expressing how sad it must have been for the Skripals, being two people from another country with only each other to look out for each other. I mean, maybe it was. But again, it was as if you had to be someone she had never met for her to give a crap about your feelings.

@MrsPernicious

Why did I google Earth Angels? Nearly as bad as Dragon Butter

I really wish I hadn't googled dragon butter!

Completely agree. They invariably put their emotions at the centre. Terrible people.

Same is true of anyone who says ‘I just give and give and give’. Only ever said by absolute arseholes.

Telling someone that they do not or cannot have genuine difficulties because you can't see their point of view is also severely lacking in empathy.

I didn't tell you that. I'd quite readily believe you if you said you had MH problems.

I was commenting on your equating being told you are not an empath with telling someone clinical depression they are just sad.

If you read my previous post you will see I accepted the feelings you describe and it already has a name without needing to borrow from Star Trek.

@amusedtodeath1 I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through — I sincerely hope my following opinions about being an empath won’t offend you.

Did you see the recent thread where someone announced she was a sapiosexual?

I've seen that one before- nearly as bad as 'I'm attracted to people's souls'. We need a fancy term for sexual attraction to massive boobs.

I vote for Mastosexuals as the new really oppressed and special group.