To tell a lie to my friend?

[itsxmas]

Two weeks ago my friend asked to borrow £20 till she got paid (on Monday )
Sunday night she text saying ASOS had a make up bag she wanted and it's £12 but they had 20% off so it was only £9.60 but the discount would end by the time she got paid the following day and would I order it and she would transfer it with the £20.
I said that's fine and ordered it.
Monday morning I woke up to a text
"Hi I've transferred the £20 I owe you but il sort the rest out the next time I see you as I get confused ha ha"
That's what she says when she isn't going to pay (she plays the confused card)
Seen her on Tuesday and she said
"Oh god I feel stupid saying this but I've just been to Asda and got too spendy and thought I was rich and now I've spent all my spare money am I ok to sort it out next month"
Obviously all I could say was yeah sure.
She won't,it will end up being a gift from me.
It's always the amounts under £10 she never pays.
I always think it's only £5 or it's only £4 but it all adds up.
Anyway the make up bag is due today.
Aibu to say the parcel didn't arrive and it must be missing then return it?
I know that sounds sneaky and underhand but I'm sick of it.

She's not your friend. Cut her off and move on.

What did you decide to do op?

Please tell us you said you will drop it round to her once she has transferred the money. And if she doesnt have the money then you will just send it back.

@pheonixrebirth

The reason she keeps on asking you is because

1. She KNOWS that you are a people pleaser and she also knows just how uncomfortable you would feel saying no to her or asking for the money back.

1. She quite literally banks on your good nature.

1. She has absolutely no qualms about being a blood sucking leach.

1. She is all about what she can get out of others.

What you have to question though is why on Earth you would want to be friends with someone who knowingly takes and takes from you whilst knowing that you are too polite/embarrassed/awkward/nice to ask to be paid back!!!
She is clearly using you and taking advantage of you and your nature.
She is not a friend she is a well seasoned CF.
People like her bank on your uncomfortableness. Please learn this lesson.
You have absolutely no reason to feel bad about asking for the money, however you need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable!
It's something I learned a long time ago and it has made me much stronger. I have no problem calling someone out when I need to now.

I agree 100% with the above.

She is not your friend. She is a parasite.

When the blood supply of free cash is cut off, she'll drop off and you'll never be troubled by her again.

Then you can focus on making real friends who care about each other and not just concentrating on what they can get out of them. You need to work on your self-esteem, as you don't seem to believe you deserve to be treated better than this.

(I would be returning the make-up bag and never mentioning it again, as she clearly does not want to pay for it.)

Don’t give it to her until she transfers you the cash. “Yep it’s arrived, can you send the money and I’ll pop the parcel on your doorstep when I see the money in my account”.

She doesn't respect you. And if you lose the "friendship" by standing up to her she wasn't a friend in the first place.

She will have to find someone else to fund her lifestyle.

What did you do OP?

I think your problems might be solved OP, your thread has made it to the Daily Snail.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8942811/Woman-expects-friend-NOT-pay-bag-bought-online.html

With any luck your CF ‘friend’ will see it and realise what a shit she is but by the sound or her she is more likely to enjoy the ‘fame’ and find it funny.

As so many others have said stand up to her and text her this:
‘I’ll be sending the makeup bag back tomorrow if you don’t transfer me the money today + what you owe me for the taxi. Please don’t ask me to lend you money or buy you anything again because it will just be embarrassing for us both when I say no’.

Ask yourself OP what kind of friendship is this? She is a user and stop being walked all over, start today. You sound like a nice person, but that doesn’t mean you should be a doormat.

Hope your friend reads the Mail OP, job done.

Oh god

Lazy journalists it shouldn't be allowed.
So bloody outing too.

@EmeraldShamrock

Lazy journalists it shouldn't be allowed. So bloody outing too.

Of course it should be allowed

If you put something out there on a public forum for everyone to see and read, of course you have no control over what happens to it, nor should you.

Send it back OP you are not her bank.

Can you return it for a full refund? I'dtel her straight - money in the bank by the end of the day or it's going back.
Otherwise it's her Christmas present. That and nothing else.
But next time, just say no. She's not a friend, she's a user.

I was in a similar situation to the OP and had a friend who was always taking the pee like this I no longer lend !obey to friends. It causes endless trouble. I occasionally give it if I have it which is unusual but I don't lend it. Just causes endless strain on friendships.

don't loan her money again. Tell her you don't want your friendship put under strain like this . she is being very unfair and greedy

Money

I'm torn between just give her it, tell her it's her Xmas present but that you won't be in the position to lend her any money going forward and to not ask you. Also make it known that it's a shame she never paid as you had planned a lovely Xmas present for her but this has eaten into your spends for her.

Or, "the make up bag arrived, pop along when you've got the money to get it or transfer me the money and I'll drop it off"

Depends your mood tbh

I bet she has given her the bag that why @itsxmas hasnt been back to the thread.

Mentioned in a Times column today too.

For the love of God op do not lend her anymore money! AND DO NOT GIVE HER THE BAG FOR XMAS. She knows exactly what she is doing, she's is massively taking advantage of you and you're letting her treat you like an idiot. No decent friend does this. She's a piss taking CF and will forever be doing it until you stop her, only you can do that!

Hopefully the cf involved has read what everyone has written about her.. Not always a bad thing being exposed by a journo...

@emilyfrost
*EmeraldShamrock
Lazy journalists it shouldn't be allowed.
So bloody outing too.

Of course it should be allowed confused
If you put something out there on a public forum for everyone to see and read, of course you have no control over what happens to it, nor should you.*

I sort of agree with both of you.
But I am swayed against the journalist as, is it really news?
The reporter has just copied an article and made a (full page) spread on it. Is that really all it takes to get into a paper now?
Is it true?
What's the history?
What's the current situation?
etc etc
No effort has been made on the story at all.

If I had done the same thing at school , I would have been punished by the teacher.

To be fair, they aren’t really journalists, just wannabe journalists who cant write a decent story themselves.