Is is just me or has MN reached peak craziness

[MLMbotsgoaway]

I probably need to back away from my screen - but is it just me or has this weekend seen the most ott responses to threads and everyday stuff ever?

I think perhaps lockdown is getting to people - but without mentioning specific threads I’ve seen the biggest over reactions ever on threads.

This isn’t a “MN” is going downhill thing, more Aibu to think that responses are suddenly absolutely mental.

(Semi- lighthearted).

It's always been full of uptight, judgemental arseholes, they are just using covid as an excuse to chew up the innocent newbies who wander on here for company and support and spit them right out. I don't know why I still come here There are some great people too of course, I feel they are getting drowned out.

I think it can be one of the most poisonous forums

As new member (no experience of what MN used to be like) and occasional poster who registered for certain specific threads, does often seem quite poisonous on here. E.g. eye-opening how many mumsnetters prepared to ditch all nuance & tell OP to dump DH and break up otherwise happy family for minor infringement of manners or moment of irritation. Would laugh it off, but some OPs clearly in vulnerable state of mind and could actually take it seriously. Significant long term consequences.

Some crazy people on here. One that sticks in mind was famous tennis player being accused of deliberately hitting ball at female (ball girl? umpire?) during match because "has form as misogynist" or similar. Sort of comment that suggests small core of posters may have MH issues. But also heartened by sight of other posters calling out what they see as prejudice / unreasonable positions. Takes courage.

Agree with poster up-thread who commented humour in male-dominated forums (hobbies, sports) often "robust" - not always easy. Find very little hysteria compared to MN. Flaming and fights, yes, MN-style performative emotionalism not really tolerated (maybe I am in "wrong" forums?). Get shot down quick for that sort of thing. Swings and roundabouts, of course - not easy to get handholding or support in trad male forum, even if wanted/needed.

MN interesting place to visit, wouldn't want to live here. Novelty will wear off for me before long.

The famous tennis player in question absolutely does have previous form as a misogynist, quite publicly and unashamedly so, so I'm not sure why pointing out his misogyny is meant to be evidence of a mental health problem.

And as for vulnerable people breaking up with their husband because of a one off infringement, I just don't believe that happens. Women who are in the most terrible marriages, with violence and bullying and coercive control are often completely unable to break free, I really can't imagine that many people uproot their whole life because their husband left his mug on top of the dishwasher instead of in it. More often on threads like that, the OP starts off complaining about the dishwasher and then is becomes clear that there are other much greater issues but the mug was the straw that broke the camel's back. And then, people come here and say 'Mumsnet users hate men and encourage women to ruin men's lives just because they once left a mug on the bench'.

Any forum that encourages women not to put up with shit lives gets my vote of approval.

The male dominated forums I've frequented in the past were where I saw doxxing, rape and death threats, photoshopped porn, shock sites and so on. Everything since then has seemed pretty tame to me. I had a couple of usernames, one unisex, one feminine. With the unisex name, I was assumed to be male and frequently accused of being gay and/or a virgin. With the feminine name, I was frequently accused of being fat and very sexually active. It was interesting.

Obviously it had good points and many great guys, some of whom I am now real-life friends with. But the worst behaviour on there was definitely worse than anything I've seen on a female-oriented forum, and I do laugh when people say it's women who can't get on nicely...

*The famous tennis player in question absolutely does have previous form as a misogynist, quite publicly and unashamedly so, so I'm not sure why pointing out his misogyny is meant to be evidence of a mental health problem.&
Yeah, well said. God forbid we point out misogyny. That makes us crazy

The male dominated forums I've frequented in the past were where I saw doxxing, rape and death threats, photoshopped porn, shock sites and so on.

Seriously what sites were those? I get that wandering onto 4chan or reddit you will find a cesspool of non moderated incel spewing misogyny but for most mainstream sports/hobby sites I frequent (rugby, rock climbing, astronomy, overlanding/travel the tone is completely different. Sure you get the odd twat rocking up and they are either called out or banned if they step out of line. Yes the conversation can be blunt and robust but I have seen incredible support (including real life intervention). What you don't get so much is the faux virtual signalling 'hand holding', 'hugs' or flower emojis which can be a bit vomit inducing. There seems less 'queen bee' syndrome as well.

It's not rape or death threats but when I was younger I used to quite enjoy watching rugby and wandered onto some discussion forums to have a read (although I never participated). They were generally fairly friendly but what I remember was how when someone posted who was obviously a woman, many of the men used to demand to know her bra size. And then of course it was all 'bants' and 'you can't take a joke' and 'I bet you're fat and ugly' if anyone refused to play along. And men who called it out were obviously gay and/or virgins. It was obviously a minority of men but it was so pervasive that that minority shouted down the people who just wanted to talk about rugby and have a bit of a laugh about it.

I was on a sports forum for a sport I competed in about 5 years ago Dillon and I had to come off it because it was so abusive and vekittli g towards any woman who raised her head (a very modern, equal participation sport too). Quite a few posts attacking women and stereotyping them in a misogynistic way, and rude to you with no moderator help when you tried to challenge. It's the leading discussion forum for that sport and it's still like that! An eye opener, and not in a good way. I do accept its the lest socially adept men who post in thus way, but still.

Sorry to hear that Green. Dare I ask what site that is?

I think forums are a lot more tightly moderated these days then the wild west days 20 years ago when anything was allowed.

Certainly the rugby forum I visit has tidied up its act over the years. Women's rugby was once seen as a bit of a joke where as now it is accepted and discussed along side the mens game. At the end of the day though its still 90%+ blokes, mostly ex players and refs having a 12 week shit fight as to who the best scrum half in the world is or still squabbling over Brexit.

I don't want to say as too identifying Dillon. Not a team sport like rugby or football at all... pretty mainstream.

I'll admit some of my experiences were on Reddit, which obviously has a reputation for being a cesspit at least in parts...but it was and is still a very major site, so I don't think we can dismiss it. The others were general discussion sites for all topics, like Mumsnet but indirectly geared towards men, and one that was dedicated to a hobby that is mostly associated with men, although it shouldn't be. They either don't exist any more or are archived now. There used to be a site called Fat, Ugly and Slutty where female gamers could go to share their experiences of online abuse in gaming. I don't game, but I would read that site.

As before, there were plenty of very good guys, but also a not-vanishingly-tiny minority of truly awful posters who really did surpass anything I've seen here or on any female-dominated site. We still have problems with internet misogyny, on social media and so on. Posters sometimes complain about misandry on here and I don't deny it exists and is inexcusable, but it still doesn't touch the worst of the misogyny that I've seen in other places and which still exists in sites for red pillers, PUAs, MGTOW, incels and so on, which may be a minority of men but dear lord, do they find each other...and it's common enough for these to be pretty standard terms today.

Perhaps my earlier experience has skewed my perception of places like MN and it's worse than I realise. I've had some run ins on here but it's usually people either accusing me of stuff I haven't done, or moralising at me over something that hasn't got a moral value. On the relatively rare occasions that I've been told to fuck off or called a name, I've reported the post and it's been removed very quickly.

People on here are absolute lunatics. I seriously wonder if some of them need professional help, if they actually mean the things they say.

ShebaShimmyShake

I shall put my hand up and admit that I don't game or visit such sites but I can well believe the abuse on there. I read bits and pieces on the whole gamergate thing and that was just a car crash.

I think when a site is overwhelmingly dominated by one gender you will get more unchecked sexism. I have seen plenty of casual misandry on here, be it sweeping generalisations or just direct hatred. I don't bother challenging it as you will just get your head chewed off. I do read the feminist boards here but very rarely contribute as again I feel like I am trespassing.

You will always get those neurotic ones suggesting you call 999, social services or leave him.

Until I joined mumsnet, I didn't know that so many of them walked among us.

It's the posters who want a following I find the most odd. Moving in packs to get others to back them up for a pile on on threads they hijack. Or seeking constant affirmation. It's not a cult!

On the whole I find MN fine but there are some raging egos floating around.

@whatdoidonowffs

WONT SOMEBODY THINK OF THE FUR BABIES !!!!

Talk about favouritism! What about the feather babies, eh, no thought for them