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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH pissed off with me as I was 2 mins late sitting down to dinner as I was doing the laundry

174 replies

MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 19:53

DH has the massive hump with me as he cooked a Sunday dinner. He said dinner was ready but I was waiting for a spin to finish in the washing machine to hang up DC’s uniforms so they’d dry by tomorrow. It’s as 2 mins. I got to the table, DC finished their dinner quickly and then he started clearing up all the food even though I was mid-meal as he was pissed off I was late to dinner as it’s rare to get us all eating together.
AIBU - I was late to dinner and so it’s my fault and obviously I’m in the wrong
AINBU - it was 2 fucking minutes doing laundry for the DC

OP posts:
user1487194234 · 08/11/2020 19:54

YADNBU and DH sounds like a control freak x

AlrightTreacle · 08/11/2020 19:55

Can see both sides tbh, would the 20 - 30 minutes it takes to eat dinner really have made a difference? But if it was only 2 minutes then he's being a bit of a drama llama. It is annoying when you cook for someone and they faff about though.

Honeybobbin · 08/11/2020 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whysrumgone · 08/11/2020 19:58

He’d gone through a lot of effort cooking a family Sunday lunch. The washing should have waited imo. I’d have been pissed off if my oh was faffing doing something else, and came to the table when the kids were close to finishing. You should have all sat down together

NatMoz · 08/11/2020 19:59

I'd be annoyed personally as a Sunday dinner takes ages to prepare and in some cases can be timed to perfection. If your only duty is to sit down and eat it then that is not a big request. I don't think 15 mins of eating with the family will make much difference to the washing.

MummaGiles · 08/11/2020 20:01

Yeah I’d have been annoyed at that if I was your DH. It’s very dismissive of the effort he’s put into dinner. Plus the food would get cold. The washing could have waited 30 mins.

Whysrumgone · 08/11/2020 20:02

@Honeybobbin

Was it 2 minutes though? Or was there 2 minutes left on the wash cycle and then you had to unload it and hang it up? Because that sounds more like 10 minutes.
I agree. I thought she meant it was a tumble drier at first. If it was a washing machine then she would have been stood there waiting for the cycle to finish, then the thermal lock doesn’t open for a minimum of two minutes after it’s stopped (so defo longer than 2 minutes in total), then she’s taking out and shaking out and putting clothes on hangers and hanging them up. A bit disrespectful when someone’s cooked you a nice meal and everyone else has had to sit down and start without you.
Sometimeswinning · 08/11/2020 20:03

Yeah with your dh. Cooking sunday lunch is a big deal, trumps washing which can be sorted after!

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:04

It was 2 mins on a spin cycle for 3 items which had to be ready for tomorrow. The extra opening of the door plus hanging up on the airer next to the washing machine had, I admit, taken probably an extra 30 seconds.

OP posts:
Luzina · 08/11/2020 20:04

I’d have left the laundry for half an hour and gone to the table. But he is U for being childish about it.

Weepingwillows12 · 08/11/2020 20:05

Honestly I would probably be pissed off with you if i was your dh but still think he overreacted so bit of both really

onlyk · 08/11/2020 20:05

Afraid pet peeve here. Annoys me that despite someone knowing what time Sunday dinner is going to be and even through I give a ten minute warning the moment you say dinner is ready someone decides they need the loo/ just need reply to an email/ empty the bin!!! etc.

Hanging up washing doesn’t sound urgent or a 2 minute job. You could have waited til after dinner.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 08/11/2020 20:08

YABU running a wash load with just 3 items.

Lookfortheheros · 08/11/2020 20:08

I would have either shouted "I'll be 2 mins, just waiting to hang out these last bits of washing" and gone with his response of "OK" or "just leave it till after, foods on the table, come and join us"

Or I would have just left it and sat and ate.

I cook every night. I would hate it if DH didn't turn up to the table when I had served up.

RhymesWithOrange · 08/11/2020 20:08

Ditto. My pet peeve. YABU but he was petty about it.

rainbowunicorn · 08/11/2020 20:09

I get where he is coming from. It is very annoying to make a meal then people are away busy doing other things when you dish it up.

Also why would you wait until Sunday late PM to put uniforms in the wash. Stick them in as soon as they come home on a Friday then you dont need to worry about them not being dry.

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:10

The washing had been done, the three items weren’t drying so I did a spin just with them. I didn’t do a load just with three items.

OP posts:
Whysrumgone · 08/11/2020 20:10

It was definitely longer than that op. You can’t even get washing machine doors open that quickly. The bi metal part has to cool down for it to bend back for the door to open. That takes minutes, not seconds

Illy603 · 08/11/2020 20:10

I can see why he’d be a little annoyed. He’s spent time making a meal for you all to sit down to together and you’re not ready. The washing could have waited.

It’s a pet peeve of mine when I’ve spent a good amount of time cooking and my partner can’t put down what he’s doing and come eat the meal while it’s still warm.

Saying that though, there’s not much need to hold onto resentment about it.

Bridecilla · 08/11/2020 20:10

Yabu. My mam did this one Christmas. I'd cooked. Got all the tureens etc on the table - she started fucking washing up. No way were 8 of us going to start while she washed up so I piped up for her to leave it and come through. She's giving it "it'll only take me a minute"

We're polite and wait for everyone to sit so I ended up having to go and have words with her which I was cross about.

picosandsancerre · 08/11/2020 20:11

Sorry but there is no way everyone else in the family finished there food in two minutes. Sounds like you werent willing to budge in joining the family to eat a meal before worrying about the laundry cycle. Perhaps you could have focussed your energy in joining the family meal rather than focussing on drying some laundry that you say only takes a minute or two

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:12

The reason I didn’t do the washing earlier is because DS had a big exam on Saturday which took half a day and I did all the driving to and from (DH refuses to drive as he has poor spatial awareness). Today I would have done it earlier but we went to the playground at DH’s insistence to do something together as a family, again I did the driving. Between then and dinner I’d done 4 loads of laundry.

OP posts:
ChalkDinosaur · 08/11/2020 20:12

Yanbu, you were hanging up the kids' uniform, not lounging around on the sofa. Fair enough they started eating without you but he shouldn't have been pissed off about it.

CathyorClaire · 08/11/2020 20:12

Is he five?

I think a couple of minutes to do a last minute job is fine but I realise I'm in a minority.

I had a gutful of Sunday lunch dramatics inflicted by the DP's when I was a child and swore it would never happen in my own house.

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:14

I’m just pissed off that I spend all the time running around like a blue arsed fly doing all the driving, laundry, admin, DC’s homework etc. The only thing DH does is the cooking on a Sunday and taking out the bins on a Tuesday, and he gets pissed off at me as I’m
2, ok 3 mins late.

OP posts: