DH pissed off with me as I was 2 mins late sitting down to dinner as I was doing the laundry

[MadameBrioche]

DH has the massive hump with me as he cooked a Sunday dinner. He said dinner was ready but I was waiting for a spin to finish in the washing machine to hang up DC’s uniforms so they’d dry by tomorrow. It’s as 2 mins. I got to the table, DC finished their dinner quickly and then he started clearing up all the food even though I was mid-meal as he was pissed off I was late to dinner as it’s rare to get us all eating together.
AIBU - I was late to dinner and so it’s my fault and obviously I’m in the wrong
AINBU - it was 2 fucking minutes doing laundry for the DC

I think you should have had the ten minute warning. I assume you have a set time for lunch.

Well, I would have asked him to hold off serving up for five minutes because your task was as important as his.

But waiting half an hour to hang something up wouldn't have that big an impact on the drying in time.

Life is too short to get pissy about something so unimportant.
And why so precious about Sunday lunch. I do Sunday lunch almost every week. I couldn't care less if someone is late to the table. I trust them to have good reason as OP did.

well his portions tend to be cold and small,
Well in fairness if you're late to table the food will be cold

I'd have waited until after dinner mainly because you say it is rare you all get to sit down together, so it would have been nice for you to sit down at the same time.

I think it’s very rude not to come to the table straight away when someone has made your dinner.

This would have pissed me off too, and it sounds like more than 2 minutes. My DS inhales his dinner and it takes him more than 2 minutes to eat a sunday roast. 10 minutes while you eat a meal isn’t going to mean the difference between wet washing and dry washing.

When we sit to eat we like to have everybody present at the table before digging in, it just feels rude otherwise. Did your DH and DC wait for you, then give up as you were taking so long?

He doesn’t need to keep on being in a strop over it though.

Nothing worse than someone not bothering to come to the table straightaway when you’ve spent ages cooking a meal
(Well ok there are worse thing but figure of speech)

@MadameBrioche

H hi is portions do tend to be cold and small. We did eat together as a family for a good 5 mins after I’d got there. Enough for me to encourage the D.C. to have some more, talk to me about their plans for tomorrow, ask Alexa to put some music on. At least 3 songs worth we were eating together.

I bet you weren't 2mins, I bet you were more. You might have thought you were 2mins because you were very occupied and rushing, but it was probably more.

In any case, sometimes these things only gets escalated because one person is annoyed that the other person has gotten annoyed in the first place. Just let hum have his little strop. He'll get over it, I'm sure. I'd be quick to point it out next time he's late for dinner though.

@Sparticuscaticus

I don't believe you that it was 2 minutes you haven't added in the sorting and getting it out snd yada yada that all took 10 mins plus ...

Just sit at the table eat your dinner as a family that was hooked and finish off jobs afterwards
As you said it was only a 20 minute of eating dinner together as a family that he (but equally could've been you) cooked

I think YWBU

If they are OP's jobs who she's solely responsible for because no one else will do it, it's entirely up to her when she chooses to do it.. in case she forgets,because she wants to relax later or whatever.

If her husband can't cope with his "efforts" not being "appreciated " for a couple of minutes then he needs to grow up. And maybe cool more often, it won't seem so special then.

We don’t have a set time. He had a whim to do a roast chicken for dinner so went up the road to Sainsbury’s to get one. I had no warning about when dinner would be.

And when I say ‘roast dinner’ it was basically roast chicken, frozen peas, frozen roast potatoes, baked beans for DC.

I get his point and do find it irritating when I call everyone in for dinner and they take forever to come. You could have hung the uniform out after you’d eaten, 20 minutes wouldn’t make a massive difference.

This is about more than his reaction tonight, you sound very unhappy with how your life at the moment.

@MadameBrioche

We don’t have a set time. He had a whim to do a roast chicken for dinner so went up the road to Sainsbury’s to get one. I had no warning about when dinner would be.

Oh wow he went to shops and bought the chicken too?

Prepare yourself OP, it'll soon be suggested you kiss his feet considering the extra "effort" .

My exH was late for every single meal I ever cooked, despite agreeing the time it would be eaten in advance. It was very wearing.

YABU.

You did admin as well now? Did your tax return suddenly need filling in?

He sounds bad tempered. But....I would have left the washing for 20 minutes.

This scenario makes me think of my DM. When the food is on the table and everyone is sitting poised to eat, she will suddenly decide she needs to change a light bulb or put new batteries in something. On one occasion she whipped out the Hoover and vacuumed the hall and sitting room while the rest of us sat looking at each other. We don't remark on it anymore because she will always point out irritably that she wasn't asking anyone to wait for her, and she was only late because she was doing X Y or Z very important chore, which couldn't possibly wait.

I'm afraid I am pretty much with everyone else. YABU. Sunday roast dinner is a lot of work. It's just me and my DC so I give them the 5 min warning for serving up. They are always late - my ex was too - always something just HAD to be done as I was dishing up. I've realised I like hot food to be hot when I eat it. My DC (and my ex) are quite happy eating hot food lukewarm.

So I would apologise if I were you - big hugs each way - mutual apologies, but perhaps the other issues (eg all going to park, multiple loads of washing, driving) need to be dealt with. Your DH isnt pulling his weight. That's the real issue here.

I'd be pissed off if I'd cooked a roast. When I call Dh and Ds's to come for "Dinner" I expect them to come immediately.

Google "washing machine minute" - it was probably longer than you thought.

I would be a little annoyed with you tbh, cooking a family meal is a nice thing to do and you've dismissed the effort there. The washing can wait the seemingly quick time it took everyone to eat!

He's had a pretty extreme reaction but it's a pet peeve of mine when dinner is on the table and DH goes to feed the cats....

YABU
Laundry could have waited. And I RTFT about your busy day driving and so on so you couldn’t start washing laundry until the afternoon. This is a terrible excuse because you CAN start a load of wash and then leave the house. You don’t have to be in the house while the washer is running.

Also agree with other posters, if the spin cycle says 2 mins left. It means 2 mins plus the wait for the lock to disengage which is typically another 2 mins plus the time for you to take the items out and hang them up another minute. You were a minimum of 5 mins getting to the dinner table.

Also agree that wash sitting in the machine an extra fifteen, twenty minutes isn’t going to affect whether they’ll be dry by the next morning.

Finally, what more important? Making laundry, an inanimate object wait, or making your DH and DCs wait for you to join them at dinner? Humans come before inanimate objects. It’s rude because you prioritised getting washing hung up over Sunday dinner with your family.

He over reacted and shouldn't have had a tantrum over it but you were rude to not sit down to dinner when it was ready, the washing could've waited 30 minutes for you to eat!

If it only took 2 minutes why had the kids nearly finished and DH started to clean up? Do you have record eating family members?

You WBU especially if it’s rare you all sit down together like you say!