DH pissed off with me as I was 2 mins late sitting down to dinner as I was doing the laundry

[MadameBrioche]

DH has the massive hump with me as he cooked a Sunday dinner. He said dinner was ready but I was waiting for a spin to finish in the washing machine to hang up DC’s uniforms so they’d dry by tomorrow. It’s as 2 mins. I got to the table, DC finished their dinner quickly and then he started clearing up all the food even though I was mid-meal as he was pissed off I was late to dinner as it’s rare to get us all eating together.
AIBU - I was late to dinner and so it’s my fault and obviously I’m in the wrong
AINBU - it was 2 fucking minutes doing laundry for the DC

@CareBear50

I can see both points of view.

He was unreasonable going in a strop but you were unreasonable too.

Hanging the washing out could have waited twenty mins, esp as he'd gone to an effort to make lunch and you rarely all get to eat together

Oh dear a man made an effort and everything else wasn't immediately ignored in order for him to be praised and acclaimed. How sad...

'Sunday roast dinner is a lot of work'. Yes it is, but frozen veg, a chicken and baked beans are not. Your husband is very petty, and childish. Does he need a certificate of achievement?!

@Savourysenorita

"my husband is not useless. He's excellent with money, he is the epitome of 'DIY expert' he can build or make anything. House stuff is stupidly cheap because he does all the tiling fitting plumbing himself etc. I'm very lucky there. He's a typical 'blue jobs' male. He will iron his own shirts because I hate doing them. But he never cooks. Doesn't wash up that often. Most housework is left up to me. Most of the child rearing and homework etc is up to me. I work (part time in a qualified role) and pay for our shopping and some bills and most of the kids clothes. I'd love for my DH to cook once in a while (no interest or know how there) but I wouldn't label him as 'useless' because he doesn't do the traditional 'pink jobs'...."

Sorry but he sounds pretty useless to me. Being able to tile a bathroom etc is great, but that's a once every couple of years job at most. Housework and parenting are part of the daily grind and if your partner isn't going to share the daily load then what's the point in being together? I'd label him as useless as he seems to think he's above any of the traditional "pink" jobs, or that his time is more valuable than yours. If he can "make or build anything" then he can figure out how to cook a few basic meals and do the washing up etc.

Why are people banging on about how long it takes to make sunday dinner when the OP has clearly said he made frozen roast potatoes, frozen peas and baked beans with a chicken!

OP, he sounds awful. Clearing away the plates while you are still eating is horrible.

OP, he sounds like a total wet wipe. Cant drive, and has tantrums over dinner... what a catch (not). What are you really getting out of this relationship? Does he work?

In this household everyone gets a 15 min warning and then a 2 min notice to be sat down at the table because I'm about to bring the food out.

OP if he gave you a warning like this then I’d be more likely to say YABU.
But if you were already doing the washing and he said it was ready and you were 2 mins late then I stick by my YANBU.

Either way next Sunday your DH needs to sort his timings out so he’s able to do the washing whilst the roast is cooking seeing as though you seem to be doing everything and not getting any thanks for it.

It was such a transparent power trip that I get arsey about people doing it even now

The very easy answer to this 'power trip' is ignore ignore ignore.
Take the power away from them.

"The reason I didn’t do the washing earlier is because DS had a big exam on Saturday which took half a day and I did all the driving to and from (DH refuses to drive as he has poor spatial awareness)."

Obviously, "D"H should have done some laundry on Saturday.

Based on all your updates, he sounds like a nasty bully

Please start a new thread in relationships and include the bigger picture in your first post. The replies will be much more supportive.

I got to the table, DC finished their dinner quickly and then he started clearing up all the food even though I was mid-meal

Your kids ate their meal that quickly?

This kind of behaviour makes me thank my lucky stars I live alone. The huge number of arguments and discord over petty and pointless things makes my teeth curl. I'm not designed to live with other people.

I do think you are being economical with the timings. What you describe definitely would take longer than 2 minutes and it sounds like you all ate rather quickly so it wouldn't have hurt to leave it an extra 20 minutes - or pop back up when you hear the door click. Sounds like this isn't your only gripe though but I do feel your husband is right to not drive if his spacial awareness is poor - that's a danger to all road users not just your family. The language you use about him either he's quite controlling or you e a bee in your. Inner but either way it needs a long chat and the meal is all a bit of a red herring

I think he needs to chill out. Not sure why that would upset anyone? You didn’t have guests. Mumsnet, man

I would call everyone to dinner if they don't come and its cold thats their problem, but 2 mins is neither here nor there .
Op was doing something and the roast was chicken with frozen potatoes and peas not a full on one where he sweated over a hot stove .
B

Bless you @MadameBrioche it sounds like you have more to consider than being on time for dinner.
I do get the hump when people don’t come to the table when called but to be fair I’ve usually made a much bigger effort than your DH. You could have left the washing till after but chose not to but in the same circumstances my DH would have come and given me a hand.

This gives me the rage. Its the one thing that winds me up about my "D"H.

Dinners nearly ready - five minutes

I'm dishing up now

Dinners ready

Then he wanders down a minute or two later because he suddenly needed a shit or to finish something.

Its only a minute or two but I can't sit down until he gets there because where his chair is I have to stand up to let him in. I could sit in his but I don't like its position.

DH has turned from being a lovely kind man before DC to a very mean, critical, sarcastic, belittling person after

Sounds like my ex. Do yourself a favor and don't put up with a decade of crap before divorcing him like I did.

After reading your updates it sounds like your not happy. You should start a thread in relationships

If only two minutes ge was being petty.

Sounds like you've picked up my friend's ex. Her description of the Christmas when she rashly agreed that he could cook Christmas dinner would make your teeth hurt. He'd apparently been invaded by the spirit of his mother and her domestic practices. Just once and never again.

Everybody gets a 30 min warning then 15-5 minute warning texts in our house as I get fed up of eating mine alone & having to stay at the table to protect their dinners from the watching cats - whilst they all midst "crucial chat, streamed TV or webgame or last minute toilet trip" that they could have done or come out of before!

It gives me the quiet rage & At times I go on cooking strike if they don't bother. They get to do clear up if not at table on time - I'm
Thinking of making it a rule that last one down gets to clear up

I wish there was a house pause button that flashes screen message "come for Dinner - your lovely mother has slaved over it!!" for all electronics and TV for dinner times!! I'd be pressing it 15 minutes early so they can make the drinks and lay table for me. Rather than have all the endless debate about "just gotta do /finish this first ..."

I'm the cook in our house and usually there's just the two of us. I hate it when the dinner is on the table and husband no where to be seen. To be fair this rarely happens, but there is nothing worse than taking time and care to prepare a meal and then seeing it get cold on the table. I do enjoy cooking, but sometimes it's just a chore. I don't expect praise for doing it, but I do expect people to be ready to eat what I've cooked.

On the other hand, If my husband said that he just had to finish something and let me know in good time ie not 5 minutes before the dinner was on the table, then I would delay dinner by a couple of minutes if necessary. Did you let him know?

I think you’re getting a rough deal here. Sounds like there is more bothering you than the dinner issue. How does he treat you normally? With respect?

Sounds like he overreacted somewhat, but I would have been irritated as well. A roast takes a while to prepare, presumably you knew it was nearly ready. Half an hour delay in sorting the washing is surely less important than showing your appreciation when someone’s done something nice for you.

He sounds awful.