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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH pissed off with me as I was 2 mins late sitting down to dinner as I was doing the laundry

174 replies

MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 19:53

DH has the massive hump with me as he cooked a Sunday dinner. He said dinner was ready but I was waiting for a spin to finish in the washing machine to hang up DC’s uniforms so they’d dry by tomorrow. It’s as 2 mins. I got to the table, DC finished their dinner quickly and then he started clearing up all the food even though I was mid-meal as he was pissed off I was late to dinner as it’s rare to get us all eating together.
AIBU - I was late to dinner and so it’s my fault and obviously I’m in the wrong
AINBU - it was 2 fucking minutes doing laundry for the DC

OP posts:
LEELULUMPKIN · 08/11/2020 20:14

This is exactly why I tell DH to give me an exact 10 minute warning before it's on the table.

Problem solved.

M0mmyneedswine · 08/11/2020 20:15

This annoys me so much, if ive gone to the effort of cooking a family meal aand others dont come when its ready i think it rude

Lockheart · 08/11/2020 20:15

Did everyone else in the family really eat a large, (presumably) hot meal in under 2 minutes?

Either the portions were cold and very small or you're hugely underestimating the amount of time you were late by.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/11/2020 20:16

YABU. But you’re clearly not open to that so pointless posting.

Leaannb · 08/11/2020 20:17

Im a definite control freak. The more my life is scheduled the happier I am. To the point where I'm a huge stickler when it comes to meal times. I've been called out about it several times on this forum but even I believe your dh is being a twat. You were working. It wasn't like you were watching TV, playing games, reading etc...You were working. You were literally doing work. Your dh is being a twat

SapphosRock · 08/11/2020 20:17

YABU. I was about to serve Sunday dinner today when my DP decided it would be a good time to call her mum.

The washing could have waited.

izzyrose85 · 08/11/2020 20:17

You both sound as bad as each other.

There's no reason you couldn't have left the washing until after the meal, or planned in advance so that it wasn't going to finish just when you were having it.

Equally he shouldn't be grumping about over such a minor issue.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 08/11/2020 20:17

1.it was only 2/3 minutes and you were doing a job .
2.if it was that important to him he could've waited 2/3 minutes.

  1. He cooked not discovered a cancer cure. I bet there's no removal of plates or military timing when you do the cooking. Which I assume it's more often than his Sunday lunch.

Petty and childish. Swoon Hmm

movingonup20 · 08/11/2020 20:17

If the cycle had 2 mins left, plus the minute it takes for the door to open then the time to hang it, it wasn't 2 mins was it. It's my pet hate, people not coming to the table too

Leaannb · 08/11/2020 20:18

@M0mmyneedswine

This annoys me so much, if ive gone to the effort of cooking a family meal aand others dont come when its ready i think it rude
I usually am too. But she was working. She was doing a chore.
Flutter12 · 08/11/2020 20:19

This annoys me so much, if ive gone to the effort of cooking a family meal aand others dont come when its ready i think it rude

What happens if someone desperately needed the toilet at the same time it was ready?

I’d be annoyed if I said tea was ready at 5 and they turned up at 5:30 but if they turned up at 5:03 then I would be fine.

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:19

H hi is portions do tend to be cold and small. We did eat together as a family for a good 5 mins after I’d got there. Enough for me to encourage the D.C. to have some more, talk to me about their plans for tomorrow, ask Alexa to put some music on. At least 3 songs worth we were eating together.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 08/11/2020 20:19

X post on the unnecessary detail Hmm You asked about the laundry/lunch situation.

If you want a general whinge then do that but it’s annoying that you’re pretending this is about the specific incident. You’re choosing to be a martyr. Can’t help you with that.

Girlyracer · 08/11/2020 20:19

YABU a hot cooked meal trumps the laundry. The dinner gets cold, the laundry can wait. If my husband delayed 2 minutes unnecessarily whilst all were waiting for a hot (quickly going cold) dinner I'd be pissed off too.

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:20

It was a spin cycle so the door opened immediately!

OP posts:
Sparticuscaticus · 08/11/2020 20:20

I don't believe you that it was 2 minutes you haven't added in the sorting and getting it out snd yada yada that all took 10 mins plus ...

Just sit at the table eat your dinner as a family that was hooked and finish off jobs afterwards
As you said it was only a 20 minute of eating dinner together as a family that he (but equally could've been you) cooked

I think YWBU

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:21

Sorry it’s just all got to me tonight. He was very very petty.

OP posts:
Girlyracer · 08/11/2020 20:21

In fact I'd go further, it's ignorant.

Toilet - can't be helped.

Laundry - can definitely wait.

katy1213 · 08/11/2020 20:21

Very rude of him to clear plates before you'd finished. And if the children gobble their dinner, I wouldn't be allowing them to leave the table either.

MiddlesexGirl · 08/11/2020 20:21

YANBU.
Dh needs to grow up a bit.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 08/11/2020 20:21

If he is so insistent on the idea of "family time" why didn't he and the children stay at the table and chat for an extra five minutes until you had finished?

I can't stand that sort of petty nonsense.

YANBU.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 08/11/2020 20:21

Ywbu. Your dh wnbu.

Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:21

It was 3 items out of the spin cycle!

OP posts:
Original poster
MadameBrioche · 08/11/2020 20:22

Believe me, if the items weren’t ready I’d have heard about it!

OP posts:
Idunnoyou · 08/11/2020 20:22

This is so weird of your partner.