To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

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On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

No one in real life would rip you apart especially if you have a different view. I'm uni educated and have a masters degree and was in management but my friends in real life are very diverse from all sorts of background. We understand each other, we never look down or show off with each other and we don't compete. We celebrate each other's successes and motivate them. The section you are talking about are not tolerant of people's views and belief. There's only one right for them and can be nasty as fuck and far too uptight. In real life if I had that attitude towards me, I would probably slap that person, probably wont but I would make them cry with my words but my words won't be as effective online as it would be face to face. My friendship circle/social circle we are open and respectful. Maybe I fit in this typical profile but I do come from a working class immigrant family and I'm not a nasty person and quite genuine.

I've mentioned Mumsnet to a couple of people, as in I'm on it, and have been met with a "really?! You?" response. So I suppose I don't know anyone who admits to being on it. I do have a degree, am an accountant and own my own home but have been a sole parent for 23 years, happily single, never married or owned a toilet brush.

I do fit your description personally in terms if education etc but I don't think Mumsnet is representative of the whole population. Get the impression it's quite a white middle class space. Some posters can be quite vicious or just write a couple of meaningless lines which don't really add anything to the discussion, so if they are educated they're not putting their education to good use! So please don't be put off by them , we all contribute in our own way.

Totally agree! On MN it's still frowned upon to have children when not married, for the child to take the fathers name when not married, and for the wife to take the husbands name during marriage.

IRL I know more people that have had children unmarried than married, I don't know anyone who was kept their own surname after marriage and I also don't know of very many people who have gave their children their own surname. The salary thing is another thing, IRL I don't think I know anyone who earns the amount people claim to on here (70-100k) apart from a consultant I work with but you have to remember that people can be anyone they want on here, don't be gullaible enough to believe everything you see

Part of this is the demographic that Mumsnet attracts, it isn't all one type of person, but there's a lot of middle-class mumsnetters with the nice houses and good jobs (or their husband has one).

It's also an age thing though, if you are on mumsnet age 28, then your life and your bank balance is going to look very different than if you are on here at 50 in a dual income household.

I am your sterotypical mumsnetter in some ways, most people I am friends with are well-educated, however I only just got a house and a cleaner in my forties upwards.

I would never ask strangers in real life about their finances etc. TBF I would never ask people I know either.

I'm from the south too, Dorset. But not the posh parts and I speak with a Dorset accent. I sound a bit like a farmer, it's bad

I'm not like the average MN user at all. But that's one thing I love about it. Especially career advice as no one in my real life has a career or could advise at all. Likewise advice about DC, schools, GCSE and A level choices, uni etc.
Its good to mix with people outside your normal world.
I never click on the 'can I live on this wage?' Or 'do I have enough savings' threads. They make me panic and I can't change my current circumstances yet. Though I am working on it hence the career advice.
Knowing my real life friends have kids, low incomes and no savings and we're alright and happy is the other side of the coin.

MN does tend to sway towards the middle class. There are a few of us similar to you OP, I work and own my own home now but I am working class, didn't even go to college let alone uni, was a single mum by age 22 and spent 4 years on benefits out of choice because childcare costs meant it wasn't worth me working.

I suppose I fit into more of the Netmums stereotype but I'm a bit too straight talking for that site.

I find a lot of posters are either incredibly rude if you differ in opinion (think politics for eg) or suggest you should be incredibly rude in response to some situations - I'm sure they would never be so rude in real life! Maybe some people see mumsnet as a way to let off steam and say all those things they would love to say in real life, but would never have the nerve? For eg, those posters who suggest to say 'no is a complete sentence' to MIL/school gate mums/close family member in response to a request. I've never heard anyone be this rude in real life.

My family would call me lazy if I got a cleaner!

@Sparklingbrook

I did think I had spotted them.

Its always a fond reminder for me, that people talk bullshit on line.

@Waxonwaxoff0

My family would call me lazy if I got a cleaner!

Same here. Plus, a cleaner would never do a good a job as me

Also this pandemic has highlighted that I don't know anyone who can work from home in their job which seems to be common among a lot of posters here!

The vitriol spat out for no particular reason by some mners in the threads isn't often seen in real life . I think these types of post are made by people who wouldn't say anything inflammatory in real life but can do so as anonymous posters.

I know what you mean op, but I do think there is a good mix of all walks of life though. Don't forget the more 'normal' people won't be shouting about their income so you probably don't notice.
I love mumsnet anyway, something to read to make you laugh, seethe, or cry, I have to remind myself that a lot of it may not be real, who knows?

I imagine if your a high flyer you boast more.
I went to uni but dropped out so I don’t say it often as it’s something I am not proud of

I have 1 child and a very large mortgage both of which I achieved in my late 30’s ... in my early 20’s I didn’t see it as possible

I spent my 20’s and early 30’s worrying i wouldn’t get on the property ladder and now I worry I won’t be able to stay on it

You are perfectly normal and your in your situation for now , your not defined by it and it won’t be your life forever and it shouldn’t be something to feel less because of anyway

You are also perfectly articulate x

I know people of all walks IRL.

I also quietly think everyone i know is on here, whether posting or lurking.

The competitive cleaning threads that go on for pages - I can't believe you put your knickers in the same washing load as towels. No one I know irl ever talks about this.

It's also all the fights mumsnetters seem to get in when out and about, over minor things like supermarket queues and parking. I never see this in real life. Mumsnetters are all approaching random strangers in the street and telling them off for doing things they don't like, such as smoking. Again, I've never seen this happen in real life.

Yeah I often read threads where the general consensus doesn’t really match reality. One on children sharing bedrooms and many had really strong opinions that siblings shouldn’t share and it’s really unfair. Another thread a while back about how young 26/27 is to be pregnant with your first baby. Just so far removed from the real people I know..

@Waxonwaxoff0 see I don't know anyone who isn't wfh except my teaching friends. Even my friend in the Met is wfh. I only know one person who lost their job but now has another one. However Im very aware I live in a bit of a "bubble".

We all make bad decisions OP. I'm married, well educated, comfortably off, but I spent so long getting my financial security and buying our dream house that when we tried for a baby, nothing happened. We were lucky with IVF, but if I could go back I'd start trying 5 years earlier!

I wouldn't say the majority of MN posters are as you describe, op. Particularly not when you note their grammar:-).

Socially, it's a good mix from council homes to large detached with plenty in between. All sorts of jobs too and unemployed.

I've met many people like the ones posting on here.

I think you just notice the people who are different to you.

I don't know any SAHMs, for example, so I always notice and am surprised by the number on here. Similarly, I notice the number of posters who have a really big earnings disparity - it's normal in my social circle for men and women to earn similar amounts not the "my DH earns six figures but I am a dinner lady" type scenario that seems really common on here.

I have been on MN for years and think it used to be much more MC / posters with higher education. These days I think it’s really mixed and depends on which topics and threads you frequent. To be honest I think MN used to be more interesting and have contributions from more interesting posters. I don’t count myself amongst interesting posters by the way and have mainly lurked, but I felt it was more a place you could go to learn and get educated by eloquent people with different viewpoints.