To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

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On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

"I get that but I can't imagine saying I have a wash down rather than a shower or bath, it just seems odd. Maybe that is just me."

I think maybe it is just you. If you can talk about vaginal prolapse or constipation then why can't you talk about washing?

"It can be quite middle class. I live in an affluent area which is very unlike the normal working class one I grew up in and whenever the city I live is mentioned on here, it is always that area or ones very much like it."

Whereas when my area was mentioned a MNer said she'd have to be paid a million pounds to live there.
I've also seen people say they won't go to their town's rough area or allow their children to go there and when I ask 'what about in the day time?' because there are few areas in the UK that are dangerous in broad daylight there's either no answer or just confirmation that they would never go there even during the day.

" an echo chamber of anti Brexit, Jeremy Corbyn loving, cooking from scratch, size 6, money loving hashtag fixated sameness."

Well, if you're anti-Brexit you're not Jeremy Corbyn loving so that's obviously two different groups of people (in general, of course some will like both). The size 6 thing doesn't seem true to me either. There seems to be very many overweight people on here just like in real life. Any discussion about weight, however reasonable and polite, turns into complaints about fat shaming.

‘ But then, for every crap DH, there's posters out there claiming to have the best DH, who's smart, drop dead gorgeous with a big dick, amazing in bed and such a high earner. ‘

So glad that my husband meets the single most important item of those criteria. 😀

If people were so busy working a high powered job, earning loads of money they wouldn't have time to chat on MNs during the day!

The bits of Mumsnet which have been invaluable to me have never been directly related to money or class.
Mumsnet at its best is solidarity between women, support when being a mum feels very hard.
The frothy threads about Ocado, cleaners, property etc are often populated with well meaning but unaware posters who live in their privilege. I don't have anything against them but it's always nice to hear about what 'normal life' looks like for a range of mums, whether that's to do with income and class, race or disability.

@BigCityLife

If people were so busy working a high powered job, earning loads of money they wouldn't have time to chat on MNs during the day!

That’s completely untrue, as several people have pointed out already. In many types of ‘high-powered’job, increased seniority means you can largely dictate your own time within certain constraints, especially when wfh removes any commute.

@BigCityLife

If people were so busy working a high powered job, earning loads of money they wouldn't have time to chat on MNs during the day!

Even high powered well paid people have a quick break for lunch or whatever, or a coffee, or have to wait for people to come online for their zoom call.

I think it's a huge myth that well paid people simply never stop working. I work with plenty of highly paid people, none of them are so completely indispensable that they can't take 15 minutes here and there. The 'I can't believe people are lazy enough to take a lunch break/go to the loo/go and make a coffee' mindset is as much about how people want others to perceive them as anything else. Highly paid people often have more flexibility because they are the ones who set the timetable for others. The workers who genuinely don't get breaks or flexibility are often those in call centres, retail or caring jobs.

@BigCityLife

If people were so busy working a high powered job, earning loads of money they wouldn't have time to chat on MNs during the day!

This is just not true.

I'm currently eating an M&S prawn salad for lunch while watching the BBC News. When I've finished, I'll be writing a report on the delivery of a £300k project.

The more high earners are normalised, the more girls and women will see it as achievable.

*I wonder if this would sound more believable if I said I was sitting in Harrods Caviar bar being fed by my liveried butler.

it will be interesting to see if high paid office workers being allowed to work from home will mean they sell their 2 bed £750k inner London flat and spend £750k on a place in Cornwall (or my native Northumberland) and work from there.

I think it's a distinct possibility. We moved here from London a couple of years ago because we could both work mostly from home - but I grew up in Cornwall so was just moving home! My parents also moved here from Gloucestershire in the 70's because it was his dream to live in Cornwall and he was the younger son so had no ties to the estate so had the freedom to do so.

@Ginfordinner I hope your daughter does get to return home one day

I'm multi-tasking....half listening to a Teams call (camera off) and half browsing on here.....

BigCity I completed a business acquisition for a client last night. I have got a lot of work dnoe today too and still had itme to go on MN. It is my son driving his grocery delivery van or a teacher in front of a class of children all day who would not be able to post so easily on MN during the day. I just emailed a client some advice whilst eating the blueberries I just bought at the shop and then came on here....pause as lawyer daughter on phone with question.

@BigCityLife as I said up-thread, the more I've earned, the more I have control over my time -- plenty of time to get work done and be on MN.

I'm currently working on a task with my team and waiting for the next round of changes, so there's plenty of time to read threads while I wait.

Best of both world then!

On our "Cornwall" side issue, it will be interesting to see if high paid office workers being allowed to work from home will mean they sell their 2 bed £750k inner London flat and spend £750k on a place in Cornwall

Simon Reeve mentioned this in his programme. It was thought that if people went o actually live in Cornwall rather than holiday there it would boost the local economy.

Married, university educated, property owner, high salary. In real life, the majority of people I know don’t fall into that (or all) those categories

Most people I know do fall into those categories, except for the very high earning part. I think some of it is just down to my age. I got married in 1981, and most of my friends are in a similar position. I do have divorced and separated friends, but the vast majority are still with their first husbands.

I suppose I am still thinking about why some of us know people who earn a lot and others don't

I was mulling over that as well. I think it depends on how you met your social circle, what kind of job you do and the kind of area you live in. As newcomers to the area, and not working due to DD’s health issues I made friends through church and the local toddler groups. None of these friends have highly paid, high ranking jobs.

Thinking about it, I do know women who are lawyers and doctors, but none of them work full time. They all seem to have a really good work/life balance as do I. We all enjoy our jobs and spend time not at work productively. And living where we do, being a lawyer just doesn’t bring the financial rewards that working in London does.

And of course, I have met people through my job, which isn’t a highly paid industry. I have a great boss and work with some lovely people who aren’t just colleagues, but have become friends.

It stands to reason that if you are a lawyer in a top ranking London firm you are bound to know and mix with people in similar circles.

Gin, I remember when I was married and had my first baby aged 22 when I was a trainee lawyer in London, just about no one I knew had children of course as I was so young, even my parents and even my granny in 1928 had babies in their 30s in our family after they had established a career.

I remember finding the City of London working mothers group in the 1980s - we met at lunch times in the City and it was very nice to meet other full time working mothers with small children - we were relatively rare.

Of course like most people I know many on lower incomes too or don't know people's incomes

My children's father is a teacher. At one point his head master refused to give him a pay rise because I "earned too much money" and also women teachers could leave early but he had to stay on at school to 6pm (private school) even though he was the one next in line if our childcare arrangement broke down and he had to get home first most days between the two of us.

When my twins started their private school aged 4(one in each class) I was the only parent who was divorced of the 40 families until a year or two later one father sadly died very early and there was then a widow. That is probably unusual even for private schools in the suburbs.