To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

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On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

@FourTeaFallOut

Yorkshire puddings at the food of the Gods, fuck you, I'm cutting you out

I just put dinner in the oven and now bitterly regretful I didn't make yorkshire puddings. I made buttermilk busicuits instead

Don't feel inferior op - your view is just as valid as everyone else's!

There are some odd people on here who like to think they're better that everyone else but don't let that stop you.

I do think there is a bias towards the middle classes here with people having cleaners etc, which isn't common where I grew up- certainly my mother thinks it's shocking I don't clean my own bathroom.

I think if you are genuinely 'sobbing and shaking', or up all night worrying about something that happened or was said on MN then it's time to have a think about whether the internet is for you.

Don't forget all the laughing so loud/spitting tea over the laptop/waking the baby laughers.

Funkypolar There was a glorious post during peak Covid. One was a retail worker who was “sobbing and shaking” because another poster went to a supermarket to buy a bar of chocolate. Then that poster was “sobbing and shaking” too and then both posters claimed to be physically sick from the stress of it all. Then the post got deleted.

The poster who claimed to have been screaming at the Sistine Chapel was the one for me. The common sense advice handed out was great. A true classic.

I think because I did a degree most people I know did one too, just because you end up with similar people.

@Funkypolar

In real life I don’t know of anyone who lives in a tiny village and has safari suppers and a village Christmas nativity with sheep bedecked in fairy lights. But with Covid I guess that won’t be happening this year.

Sounds like something out of Hot Fuzz.

its easier to think of a funny or witty reply when you type it rather than thinking on your feet in real life.

Yes, but the other way round for me! More people on here are less well educated and earn less than I do. I suppose that shows it is all things for all people and is lucky enough to have a full range of mothers posting.

It is extremely useful for women who do not earn much to realise just what many women can achieve and careers which pay more so (if money matters to them) they can help ensure their daughters realise these things are possible.

I went to university and it was as much good for me as a chocolate fire guard. When I was younger, no one I knew went to uni.

Brought in a deprived area and getting a job to make ends meat was the norm.

Now at 40 I think many degrees are not worth the paper they’re written on. They used to be for the truly academic, but now so many people have them, they are no more significant to me than A-Levels.

What I’m saying is, years ago I was impressed if someone went to uni. These days, that doesn’t impress me at all.

What impresses me is how they treat others. Their character etc....

Just to add, some people are born luckier than others. Yes some make bad decisions (don’t we all at some point) but luck plays a role for sure!

If you’re a good person with a good heart that’s what I judge you on. If you’re a genius with degrees coming out of your years but are a dick - I wouldn’t give you the time of day

I think there is a diversity on here, some posters struggle with money, others have loads. But how do we know they are telling the truth? I’m old relatively (but don’t feel it mostly) as I’m 60 last month. I’m a professional with a doctorate level degree, as is my husband, and to the general public they would expect me to have loads of money as my job is thought of as a money spinner. In reality we have our own business, and it makes a lot less money than most folk think, so until recent years we had virtually no savings.

I certainly couldn’t have privately educated my children, but then I wouldn’t have wanted to, as that isn’t something we would want for them. We have worked very hard for what we have, but then so have lots of others who have very little.

My friendship group are similar to me I think, mostly professionals with degrees, but not exclusively.

Let’s be brutally honest.

If the majority of MN earned six figures, were professionals, were educated to masters level - would the Daily Fail pull so many threads to publish for their readers. Nah don’t worry OP.

OP there is nothing wrong with how you come across. Perfectly articulate in my opinion

@Xenia that works in reverse too you know. It’s not a bad thing for some daughters to know that, not everyone has it so good.

Actually, I think - just because it's so big that MN is probably pretty representative of women and their experiences. It's an anonymous forum. Some people will embellish their posts, and others will down play them. I post quite a lot, because I am retired and enjoy the interactions, but I have never mis-represented what I am.

@Sparklingbrook

Don't forget people can be whoever they want to be on here. Nobody will ever know. They could make up a whole new persona-be someone else, maybe the person they want to be?

Also people that are more 'normal' are less likely to post maybe for fear of being told they have made bad decisions in life?

Totally. Don't use social media, which is essentially what this is to depict a representation of reality because it isn't. People often develop an ego, a self image if you like because they want to control how others see them. This happens off line of course, but it's more prevalent on here and Facebook for example. An extreme example is Donald Trump. What you see, and what he wants to see aren't the insecure little boy who never healed as a child. That's what narcissists largely are. They build a tough exterior because, mostly people don't want to be seen as 'not coping' or vulnerable. Getting deep here, but if you want to know more, google 'Brene Brown'. Some people want to be seen as intelligent, I know Inhave a problem with this because when I was a kid my mum told me that unless I prove myself to them, people would pity me and think I was stupid. I have ADHD and struggle with things, but my IQ is not really one of them. It was a self image thing for her because of very damaging things she had been taught in childhood.

I still find it really surprising what personal details people feel the need to share/overshare on here.

The over drama thing is brilliant

I said once that a cheese and tomato sandwich was the same as pizza (it is, constituently!)

Got some real MAD answers that pizza was virtual POISON and children shouldn't be eating it as it was such bad junk food

I do find it very weird when posters are adamant no-one, or near no-one, can possibly earn a higher salary than they do.

I just have to look at the price of properties around here, the holidays people take, the general lifestyle to realise that people must get money from somewhere, and no, it cannot be all from credit card. There's only so much mortgage you can get if you are already heavily in debts.

What I am puzzled about are the amount of posters who only work in well paid low hours job, so called 9 to 5 or less. I haven't seen any 9 to 5 in years, at best it's 8:60 to 5:30, but usually more. I literally know no-one who can work full time and be home at 5pm with the kids, and have tea with the kids!

(covid aside), I don't know many kids who are even home so early, there are always clubs, after school clubs in the afternoon.

I haven't met anyone in real life who was a man hater and so furious and bitter against the entire male population, MN is an eye opener.

I don't know anyone who had a baby at 18 or early 20s, but it doesn't mean I pretend they don't exist.

People are different, 🤷

Ahh OP I get you but don't let what you read on here make you feel inferior or lacking.
People can be and often are full of shit!

After all it is anonymous so we can be, have, earn what we want to imagine, if that's how we roll.
Personally I can't be arsed with bullshit, I am who I am both in real life and on here.
I had 3 dc out of wedlock (the youngest when I was 16 the oldest when I was 21!!!) Their dad was a fucking vicious nightmare who I stayed with until I was 28.
Only then could I do something with my life and then it wasn't much. I went to college to redo my GCSE's, got a part time job and claimed benefits I was entitled to.
I rented my home and still do.
I certainly couldn't afford a cleaner back then and now that I can I still wouldn't want one tbh.

I never fathomed how to NOT need a toilet brush with 3 male side shitting devils at home....I care not that they may be (according to mumsnet) unhygienic, I need one.

I never found the shop that sold the mumsnet chicken neither, so was never able to feed me and the kids for a week on just that so sometimes the kids had smiley faces and a frozen pizza AND sometimes......I gave them a fruit shoot or capri sun too :)
My job now is better (retail management), I've worked hard for promotions but my wage still isn't great, quite far from infact.
I do have a pension but certainly not one that I've been putting my whole salary in to for the last umpteen years while existing on fresh air and tap water. I have one nonetheless, that said, I think I may have to die maybe 1 year after retiring though as it'll be quite shit.

There are some nice genuine people on here, people like I know in real life. There's also some hysterical fuckwits too, people who I actively avoid IRL
Keep looking and reading, you'll see your people at some point :)

OP, remember on t'internet you can be whoever you like to be, I often read posts and think Really?, Who are you kidding?

I know what you mean OP.

If it makes you feel better I'm normal...well for the purpose of this thread anyway

I'm in my early 40s, have a degree but earn £25k working ft in public sector. I have 3 DC with 2 different father's, neither of whom I married. I've rented privately my whole life since being kicked out at 16. We can't afford a 3 bed house so the toddler will share with us for the foreseeable.

My DP doesn't work and is a sahd to toddler so we also get UC top-up. If he did manage to find a job he'd likely only get nmw.

I catch the bus to work, rarely buy clothes for myself as can't afford it. I do save a bit each month to afford Christmas and a holiday of some sort each year.

And I don't even own an iron!

@LaurieFairyCake

The over drama thing is brilliant

I said once that a cheese and tomato sandwich was the same as pizza (it is, constituently!)

Got some real MAD answers that pizza was virtual POISON and children shouldn't be eating it as it was such bad junk food

Definitely don't post saying you give your children squash. There'll be a SWAT team of social workers sent round before you know it.

@keeprocking

OP, remember on t'internet you can be whoever you like to be, I often read posts and think Really?, Who are you kidding?

Same. A case of 'itchy beard' as we would say in school, complete with stroking of non existent beard actions.

I think the trick is to quickly close a thread that in any way makes you feel uncomfortable. Whether it’s because it’s “on the turn” or because it makes you feel bad in your personal circumstances (unless it’s something you can genuinely learn from).

It depends, some threads are full of posts I agree with and can identify with and others are not. My issue is more that I feel like the odd one out in my circle of friends and acquaintances. But that might just be my own insecurities.