To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

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On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

I hear you OP. Though I’m well-educated (I have 3 degrees) I did it with winning scholarships and working hard in bar, cleaning, office etc jobs.
I’d never have had a house/mortgage were it not for my “D”H’s well off family.
I have a deceased DD and a seriously disabled DD and 2 demanding dogs.
I think I’m funny (I amuse myself) but I have no free time, no hobbies, hardly ever get to read anymore (used to read 2/3 books a week), don’t like cashmere (sorry everyone!), drink waaay too much, put up with abuse, fight back when organisations give me a hard time, have no inclination to stay at home when I could be out (I’m 45), never got into running, never earned more than £45,000, now depend on Carer’s Allowance and my DD’s DLA to buy her things etc.
Oh and I’m Irish and came from the poorest background you could imagine

I'm just about to get a cleaner. She's my daughter. Her job at JL fell threw due to covid, so I offered her a cleaning job. And today she's been shadowing me. I think her life plan is reinvigorated, due to how crap cleaning is. . .

A lot of stuff on here is made up. I can think of one poster in particular who pretends to have an amazing life and earns six figures but loads of plot holes in her stories.

@Sertchgi123

The only thing I would comment on, is the number of posters who have massive issues with their MIL. In my real life I don't know anyone who does.

And their SILs !

Birds of a feather flock together, if you’re not happy here you might want to try netmums.

I have 2 friends who've said to me they are on Mumsnet, I certainly don't keep my account a secret, although I do name change a few times a year, so that all my posts don't stay connected.

Mumsnet is very typical of my circle, in that we are all uni educated, well-spoken, have professional jobs, earn decent wages, and own their homes. Thinking about it, at 40, I don't know anyone who rents or is on benefits.

The only part of Mumsnet my circle of friends doesn't resonate with is that my group is predominantly non-White, and have all progressed from working class origins.

I joined on the recommendation of one of the friends mentioned above when pregnant with DS1, who is now 4, and stayed as I find it quite interesting to hear about other people's lives.

Yes but I would say a lot of people on mumsnet are full of shit.

I have 2 degrees, second is an MBA. Got made redundant in April while on maternity leave.

Now work 16hrs a week on minimum wage in local supermarket. No interest or intent in getting anything else until he is at school because this works for us, with my partner being home from work when I work, so no need for childcare. Once he is at school, this will hopefully change. But it's the perfect balance for us just now.

You have a 6 month old. Enjoy that. No shame comes with a little help when it's needed. I'm sure you will repay in the future.

I have an 11 month old. Best choice ever to be at home with him. Even when he bites me 😂

A cleaner is normal in my world & I have one. What's not normal in my world is the fact that so many people on MNs have money but never spend it 😁

Surely it depends on your circle though? Practically all of my friends went to university, only one has has children without being married and we all have professional jobs (though no one I know is on 6 figures).

So what you've described is normal to me. I do think some posters probably lie/inflate their life story but on the whole mn just attracts very middle/upper middle class people. Not representative of the UK but representative of that class I guess.

It depends which circles you move in. We are on an average (I mean a properly average, not mumsnet average) income, but are well educated. I work in a fairly humble role in a private school and have been endlessly fascinated by colleagues’ conversations about second homes, kitchen renovations, cleaners, huge dinner parties and exotic holidays. That’s their world and their normal. My normal, my circle of friends is very different, but no more or less ‘worthy’ or enjoyable. I’m sure you could get a degree if you wanted one!

Oh & everyone has tiny mortgages

Anyone with any sense knows that the things you mentioned in your OP are often down to luck or circumstances beyond people's control rather than bad choices, OP. They are certainly not things MNers should be nudgy about. There are people from all walks of life on here, and plenty of threads to join in with where nobody is going on about their luxury holidays, cleaners or salaries. I'm middle class and pretty educated, but I'm not wealthy and don't have a fancy job, a cleaner or posh holidays.

@Sparklingbrook

Don't forget people can be whoever they want to be on here. Nobody will ever know. They could make up a whole new persona-be someone else, maybe the person they want to be?

Also people that are more 'normal' are less likely to post maybe for fear of being told they have made bad decisions in life?

This, there is a really well known poster, who posted a photo of their lounge or bedroom.

Turned out to be a photo from a hotel. As far as I know they namechanged and are still posting.

Just discount 90% of what people say about their lives

@Hotchocolatesforeveryone

Yes but I would say a lot of people on mumsnet are full of shit.

I second this!

MN is very competitive, if PP earns £50K the next PP earns £60K. It’s sad really

OP, I have been on MN (give or take a few flounces) since it began.

I am ridiculously middle class. I have a PhD, and was a SAHM with a Boden catalogue for a gazillion years, until I realised that XH was an abusive twat.

As one of our DC's needs mean that I can never work again, I don't. However, I don't qualify for UC either. Or anything. I had a job, but Lockdown happened in March, and can FUCK OFF. So can this Lockdown. Because I'm now living on a great fat nothing. I am royally stuffed.

Not sure how I fit into your scheme, though at least my PIL died before I met them (not of Covid: some people do die, but not of Covid, though I know this comes as a shock), so I'm at least spared that one.

I suppose I fit the stereotype; married, university educated, home owner etc. The majority of my friends are the same. However I grew up very disadvantaged in a single parent family of 5 children, worked lots of NMW jobs, went to uni aged 43! I'm probably older than the usual demographic, so properties were much more affordable back in the day, and jobs plentiful with lots of scope for progression. Oh and I used to have a cleaner too when my DC were small !

Many people on MN talk a lot of shite though.

£60k?! I struggle each month on UC and rent a flat. My future goals are to train to become a teaching assistant and rent a better property, I would be so happy with a little 2 bed terrace. I hope to eventually be able to take my DD abroad once a year too, to Spain or somewhere. I don't even know what I would do with £60k a year. Maybe I don't belong on this site?

I remember that @Sobeyondthehills-very funny. And yes, the poster is still around.

Really though why do people post on the 'How much have you got in savings/your pension' threads? 'How much do you earn'? Or 'How much do you owe on your mortgage?' etc? What is the actual point of people knowing this? I don't get it.

@BLASTPROCESSING

Many people on MN talk a lot of shite though.

Got it in one.

PMSL at 60K.

I'm looking at 6 if I'm lucky, thanks to sodding, fucking, bastarding, shitting lockdown.

No I don’t think the majority are as you describe at all.

Until I started reading MN I had no idea of the poverty in the UK. (I’m not from the UK).
Look also at the threads about ‘hating’ Meghan Markle, people who are adamant to ignore lockdown rules, people waiting months for appointments because they can’t afford private healthcare, there are so many more. Don’t confuse threads brimming with posters supposedly earning six figures with reality.
Be yourself OP. That’s more than many on here can say.

When you get a mixed group of different people, the grammar school prefect and private school posh types tend to dominate, MN reflects that.

I would also agree that so much of it is circumstance rather than anything else. So everyone I know owns their own home with the exception of 2 friends. Of those who own, myself included, this has only been possible through inheritance. I have literally one friend who saved his own deposit and recieved no help.

No shame in renting. DH and I have consistently over our lifetimes earned more than the national wage. We still wouldnt have been able to save enough to buy without help. Though I will caveat we are from the South where it is massively more expensive.