To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

[MustBe3OrMoreCharacterss]

On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

I watched Simon Reeves' Cornwall last night. Wages in Cornwall are among the lowest in the country.

Gwen: "Well, definitely, after being told that having a sink wash is 'vile' some people will just stop contributing."

A 'sink wash'? Do you mean 'wash basin' ;-)?

Seriously, why are people talking about such personal things.

[quote PegasusReturns]@GreenlandTheMovie

most people in full time professional jobs either don't have the time or have workplace policies against it

I know you’re talking about the internet more broadly but this always interests me as I it seems the #1 reason for disbelieving women are high earners/professionals on MN is time.

I’m in Xenia’s camp on this: I use MN as my “water cooler moments” during the working day. When I’m waiting for the kettle to boil or have a few mins between calls I often flick on to MN.

When we could actually get out an about I was often MNing from taxis or planes or just whilst waiting for the lift. I find it really breaks up the relentlessness of a busy day and I’m sure I have more time than the average retail worker who likely doesn’t have access to their phone.[/quote]
Totally agree with this. I find generally in the corporate environment things like internet / phone usage are much more relaxed than in retail etc.

I am often a bit grubby. An hour ago I was on very high ladders using hedge trimmers above my hedge and the hedge literally fell down into my hair and down into my T shirt. I get muddy every day in the garden. - one of the nice things about working from home if you are lucky enough to have a garden.

@Xenia

I am often a bit grubby. An hour ago I was on very high ladders using hedge trimmers above my hedge and the hedge literally fell down into my hair and down into my T shirt. I get muddy every day in the garden. - one of the nice things about working from home if you are lucky enough to have a garden.

Our garden looked fabulous this year. I love gardening. It's so theraprutic pottering on a warm summer evening dead heading roses.

"A 'sink wash'? Do you mean 'wash basin' ;-)?"

The wash basin is often called the bathroom sink. I think people only washed in the kitchen sink when they had outside toilets.

What's wrong with talking about personal things?

I use MN on my phone, not through my work laptop. Takes a few minutes to browse the latest threads, and post a comment here or there where the topic interests me.

High earners aren't Martians, operating on a different planet, we're just people like everyone else. I'd expect someone working in a call centre being monitored every minute to have less free time during the day than I do, currently working from home, overseeing teams, projects and other work which don't rely on hourly delivery, but completion over a period of time.

I watched Simon Reeves' Cornwall last night. Wages in Cornwall are among the lowest in the country.

I saw that too. Im so glad he didn't just show the nice scenery and tell the success stories. I live in Cornwall and there's nothing here for young people and it is difficult for them to get exposure to different ways of life, different careers, opportunities because we are remote. There's very little industry down here and where Cornwall might lead the way in sustainable living - I very much doubt that the higher paid jobs are going to locals.

People don't realise what it's like here (and I know I'm in a privileged bubble but Im not blind or naive). They look at the county and see the quaint fishing villages - without realising how little fishing industry exists; the beautiful scenery and beaches with the cafes, hotels and food stalls - without understanding how those industries are so fragile and the people working in them one pay packet from destitution. They don't see the depth of poverty - there's a ward in Penzance called Lescudjack which always used to be one of the poorest wards in Europe. Probably still is.

With covid it is getting worse and the inequalities gap growing. Our economy is so dependent on the service industry because there is nothing else for many people. And still our house prices rise as people move down for the dream of living an eternal holiday....then get disillusioned when they realise how long it takes to get anywhere in summer.

Sorry. Totally derailed the thread there. I'll get off my soap box now. Except to say young people down here are in desperate need of exposure to people like @Xenia and many others on this and the high earners thread. Not so they can escape, but so they can stay and make a life in the county they love.

No idea if anybody I know is on mumsnet - I've never asked them. Seems to me there is a big cross section of people on here - doesn't strike me as just people from one background.

Secret, I agree about Cornwall. I remember a friend who lived down there telling me a lot about it and the low pay, lack of jobs etc. People have no idea...although he did know a couple who looked after a huge walled garden which turned out to be owned by a London lawyer (female) whom I know in a professional sense (she is not a friend) but it was quite a coincidence. I have never seen the garden but it sounded lovely.
People have a romanticised vision of these places. My son said yesterday his friend's family might be moving from here (outer London) to the countryside. I think they should rent first in case they don't like it as it is a very big step. They also by the way are well off (I presume much more than I am).I suppose I am still thinking about why some of us know people who earn a lot and others don't. I certainly know lots of people who don't earn a lot too - my London borough has more beds in sheds than any other in London. It is a very mixed community of rich and poor and many in the middle.

@Xenia I think what gets to me the most is when I see really clever, talented and fabulous young people here who, if they lived somewhere else, had better opportunities could achieve so much. It's not really about money, it's just the lack of opportunities. They literally don't think of going into medicine or law because they don't believe it is for them. If nothing else, I want equality of opportunity.

And it seems so sad that that fabulous garden has no one to love and admire it.

@jessstan1

Gwen: "Well, definitely, after being told that having a sink wash is 'vile' some people will just stop contributing."

A 'sink wash'? Do you mean 'wash basin' ;-)?

Seriously, why are people talking about such personal things.

I assume the poster meant washing with a sponge at a sink or washbasin, rather than taking a bath or shower.

And as for talking about ‘personal things’, this is an anonymous forum where people discuss affairs, vaginal prolapses, how often they change their sheets etc.

[quote SecretSpAD]@Xenia I think what gets to me the most is when I see really clever, talented and fabulous young people here who, if they lived somewhere else, had better opportunities could achieve so much. It's not really about money, it's just the lack of opportunities. They literally don't think of going into medicine or law because they don't believe it is for them. If nothing else, I want equality of opportunity. [/quote]
And that is why I won't encourage DD to move back home after university, because there aren't the same opportunities here.

TuesdaysWell: And as for talking about ‘personal things’, this is an anonymous forum where people discuss affairs, vaginal prolapses, how often they change their sheets etc.
..
I get that but I can't imagine saying I have a wash down rather than a shower or bath, it just seems odd. Maybe that is just me.

Of course having a thorough strip wash is quite sufficient and most of us will have done it at some time if, for example, repairs were needed in the bathroom.

Now I've forgotten what this thread is about. Sorry.

@UsernameSpoosername
Married, university educated, property owner, high salary. In real life, the majority of people I know don’t fall into that (or all) those categories.

In real life I doubt many of the posters on Mumsnet do either. I believe very little of what people say about themselves on here.

[quote TibetanTerrier]@UsernameSpoosername
Married, university educated, property owner, high salary. In real life, the majority of people I know don’t fall into that (or all) those categories.

In real life I doubt many of the posters on Mumsnet do either. I believe very little of what people say about themselves on here.[/quote]
I think it's very plausible that someone might mostly know people in that category. My colleagues are the people I spend the most time with outside of the home and there are only three people out of 150 who didn't go to university (but two of them have very sought after professional qualifications) and although I did go to university, I'm one of only three staff who could in any way be classed as poorly paid (although my idea of poorly paid does not necessarily tie in with many on Mumsnet who think that a salary three times the national average is just scraping by). So in my immediate day to day life I suppose I do mostly know people who fit that category.

This is in regard to people telling others on MN how much they earn.

But isn’t that, like rudeness and discussions of social class, simply a function of online anonymity?

But I don't see it as having anything to do with anonymity - I just don't understand why people seem to think we all need/want to know how much they earn. I personally couldn't care less if my salary was broadcast in the local newspaper, I don't consider it a secret, I just don't get why anyone else would want to know.

@jessstan1

TuesdaysWell: And as for talking about ‘personal things’, this is an anonymous forum where people discuss affairs, vaginal prolapses, how often they change their sheets etc. .. I get that but I can't imagine saying I have a wash down rather than a shower or bath, it just seems odd. Maybe that is just me.

Of course having a thorough strip wash is quite sufficient and most of us will have done it at some time if, for example, repairs were needed in the bathroom.

Now I've forgotten what this thread is about. Sorry.

I think people used to have a 'strip wash' before showers became the norm.

To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

Thank fuck! MN seems to be full of neurotic, highly strung types who get a kick out of being professionally offended. I’m happy that I don’t know anyone like that in real life. There are some posters who I think come across well though.

I know lots of different types of people from all walks of life. I cannot put them all into one category. Thank god!

I’m a married, well spoken, high earning home owner who enjoys camping and I’m ‘interested in lots of different things’. I consider myself articulate. However, I didn’t go to uni so I don’t quite fit in with your description..and I’m child free. As posters keep saying, life isn’t linear 🤷🏻‍♀️

*Married, university educated, property owner, high salary. In real life, the majority of people I know don’t fall into that (or all) those categories.

In real life I doubt many of the posters on Mumsnet do either. I believe very little of what people say about themselves on here.*

Very few people I know don’t fall into that category. I don’t know many people who aren’t in long term marriages, whose children don’t go to university, who don’t work or who are in receipt of benefits. I know very few single mothers, very few children who are not neurotypical - despite a lifetime working with children and families. Most children I know are potty trained, eat normal food, sleep and aren’t violent.

Because I don’t know many personally, doesn’t mean I’m unaware that people live very different lives and have different experiences. I can’t see why that’s so hard to understand.

Married, university educated, property owner, high salary.

But surely it just depends on where you are from and who you grew up with/around pretty much EVERYONE I know friends and family fall under all of those brackets. A few may be lower earners, but all of my friends and family (over age 25) are property owners. Just because it's not YOUR reality doesn't mean it's not mine

On our "Connwall" side issue, it will be interesting to see if high paid office workers being allowed to work from home will mean they sell their 2 bed £750k inner London flat and spend £750k on a place in Cornwall (or my native Northumberland) and work from there. My parents were certainly glad we moved to London etc for work after university as the NE was in decline by then although our family also did it the other way - in about 1870 my great grandfather and family moved up to NE England because the coal mines were booming and there was money to be made and my Irish ancestors similarly moved there for work many during the Irish famine in the mid 1800s. So they all were moving even in the 1800s. Another lot moved from Orkney to Peterhead and then to Tynemouth - those ancestors were "master mariners" and I presume Tynemouth offered more jobs than Peterhead in the 1800s when they made the move. Another lot moved in the 1800s from Edinburgh down to NE England.

The first professional I found were my grandfather's brother who did his LLB externally and became a solicitor in the 1890s and his sister who studied nursing in the 1890s and then had a long career in a hospital in London ( never married) - whereas my grandfather youngest of the 10 children had to leave school at 12 and the family had fallen on harder times but even he became a member of the estate agents institute and made sure his children did well at school as I think they saw qualifications as the route out of poverty.

I need to get back to work instead of waffling on here.....having bored the children in the last year about the ancestors..... my point was just it will be interesting if the sea change we expected around 1990 of people working from home with computers using the internet might actually start to happen more now due to CV19 or whether office workers will now be force back into work due to the vaccine etc and "working from home" as a choice becomes a fond memory for some.

At present people are looking for properties out of London and with gardens.

@eaglejulesk

This is in regard to people telling others on MN how much they earn.

But isn’t that, like rudeness and discussions of social class, simply a function of online anonymity?

But I don't see it as having anything to do with anonymity - I just don't understand why people seem to think we all need/want to know how much they earn. I personally couldn't care less if my salary was broadcast in the local newspaper, I don't consider it a secret, I just don't get why anyone else would want to know.

Well, I agree with you personally, and am uninterested other people’s finances — though a new school gate acquaintance is clearly putting a lot of energy into trying to figure out how much money we have, so clearly it’s interesting to some people! — but I think the anonymity issue on here means that people actually ask questions they would never ask in real life, like how much people earn, what social class they consider themselves, how often they shower/bathe etc. And then people answer the question because it was asked. That’s what I mean by anonymity meaning stuff is up for discussion.

"MN seems to be full of neurotic, highly strung types who get a kick out of being professionally offended. I’m happy that I don’t know anyone like that in real life. There are some posters who I think come across well though."

I think that's part of being quite wealthy though. They're people who don't have major problems so minor ones appear worse.
I remember someone saying that having to see washing hanging on a line in a front garden rather than a back garden was 'stressful'. So it wasn't just 'common' or something she didn't want to see, but actually 'stressful'. That shows you that she didn't have any actual stress in her life.