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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

324 replies

Gertr · 05/11/2020 23:48

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 05/11/2020 23:49

I think you were a little quick off the mark - it's only the beginning of November.

What does his father think? Can you not return a couple of things?

Fiveletters · 05/11/2020 23:51

It makes much more sense to wait for the letters to Father Christmas. Surely?

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/11/2020 23:51

Can’t you take some of them back for refund / exchange? His mum may have gotten him some gifts he’ll be thrilled with but wouldn’t his dad and you also like him to feel the same way about your gifts rather than him potentially being a bit disappointed?

BrieAndChilli · 05/11/2020 23:51

Maybe some of the list will be things you’ve already got?

thatonesmine · 05/11/2020 23:52

I'm impressed at how organised you are, I've only just started thinking about Christmas presents. Maybe get him one small thing off his list if you don't want him to be disappointed.

HotToCold · 05/11/2020 23:52

I think you should of waited
Its the 5th of November
Most kids will change their minds on what they want ....

Namechange8471 · 05/11/2020 23:54

Yeah lesson learned op, don't shop too early!

Return them?

Xmasbaby11 · 05/11/2020 23:54

It's too early to have finished - you made a mistake buying everything already. I think I'd send something back and get him what he wants if you can.

I am only just asking people what they want. Dc are 6 and 8.

RozHuntleysStump · 05/11/2020 23:54

You shopped way too early. That’s not his bloody fault.

Original poster
Gertr · 05/11/2020 23:55

With the benefit of hindsight I agree we should have waited.

We did ask him a handful of times as we said we wanted to be prepared this year (for once) and he had no clue.

I'm going to have to have a talk with DH and see whether we can return anything.

Oh bollocks.

The one time we are prepared and this happens Blush

OP posts:
Hamsandwich2 · 05/11/2020 23:56

It’s happened to everyone who tries to be over organised.

If it was Christmas Eve then YANBU but it’s only 5th November. He is organised doing it now.

Can you return or exchange what you bought?

My sons is in but he’s wanted it for months and his birthday 28th dec too as it is only available in a couple of places and had to be purchased pre-lockdown.

Have kept room in budget for something else from me should he find something he ‘needs’z

CovidClara · 05/11/2020 23:56

At 10 he knows about Santa , it is the age when children start to say what they would like knowing that parents are providing it. I wouldn't have bought for mine at that age before asking them what they wanted for their main present at least.

Take back what you have bought and get him what he wants.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/11/2020 23:57

Well he barely had chance tbf, doesn't sound like his Dad was that bothered about getting him stuff he actually asked for.

Wait for the list, with a view to suggesting Dad takes a few things back of he kept the reciepts

ShortSilence · 05/11/2020 23:57

You’ve definitely shopped far too early, he’s ten.

Buying gifts is supposed to be about what the recipient would like, not just a chore to get out of the way. Little kids enjoy the list making process. It’s part of how it works and you haven’t been considerate.

thaegumathteth · 05/11/2020 23:57

I'm always v organised so I can kind of sympathise but yabu especially because he's 10 and the magic of Xmas might be a little less soon. Return some presents you've already bought if need be but get him what he actually wants!

CovidClara · 05/11/2020 23:57

One advantage of covid is that lots of places have extended return dates.

BlueThistles · 06/11/2020 00:03

We did ask him a handful of times as we said we wanted to be prepared this year (for once) and he had no clue.

OP ... nobody can seriously blame you for going ahead and buying these gifts ...

its unfortunate but with restrictions taking place.. ordering sooner rather than later seems appropriate ...

You sound very organised and caring 🌺

Original poster
Gertr · 06/11/2020 00:11

I'm certainly not blaming him, I feel crap now Sad

We put alot of thought into what to get, taking into consideration things he loves and I know he would enjoy.

He has got one thing that he said he would like (but didn't put on any sort of list, just said he wants one) but to be honest I'm dreading the list now.

This is mainly because children have little concept of cost and i have a feeling it's going to be full of things that are upwards of £50 per item.

Our two shared DC have quite a few presents but they are little things, we've only spent what we can afford.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 06/11/2020 00:13

Sorry but I think the error was yours - it is too early to have spent the full budget.

Can you return anything? Or hold something back for his birthday and replace it with an item from his list?

DaddysGirlForLife · 06/11/2020 00:15

I would tell him there's no need for a list as you've bought some presents already that you are sure he's going to like.

Remind him that you did ask for a list but he didn't prepare one. Hopefully it'll be a lesson learnt for next year.

thatonesmine · 06/11/2020 00:18

Also in my experience the best presents can be the unexpected things.

YoureRight · 06/11/2020 00:19

Does he still believe in Santa? Do you get the kids to believe Santa brings ALL the presents? Surely Santa brings a stocking only, and one small gift? Telling kids that Santa brings all the tat is a terrible idea.

XjustagirlX · 06/11/2020 00:20

Get the list off him. If some of the presents match then great. If not I would get him what he wants for Christmas and save your presents until his birthday.

Ideasplease322 · 06/11/2020 00:29

Never shop this early for children - they will chop and change a few times before Christmas.

Hate the idea of telling him presents are already bought. - ba humbug! Sorry daddy’s girl 😊

The thrill of Christmas was making the list. You didn’t get everything on it, but you knew you would get a few things.

As a child I loved putting small silly things on it along side the bigger stuff, beciase I knew I had a better chance with the small things😊.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 06/11/2020 00:32

Ah why do they do that - change their minds at the drop of a hat! Thing is if you end up getting the presents he'll only change his mind again on December 23rd Grin

Not sure I'm someone has already suggested but pass the list on to aunties/uncles grandparents - this is what I do with the "by the way I also want" comments