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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

324 replies

Gertr · 05/11/2020 23:48

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

OP posts:
Peppafrig · 06/11/2020 00:33

As long as his list to Santa is reasonable I think he should get that not what you picked out . Think you shopped too early .

Original poster
Gertr · 06/11/2020 00:35

Naively, I honestly didn't realise the list making was a big thing.

My DC are too young to ask for specific things for Christmas so I just get them things I know they'll like.

In my own case, I never wrote Christmas lists myself. I would tell my DM if there was something I really wanted but the rest of my gifts would be whatever the gifters thought I would like.

The only things DSS has mentioned at all are his main present from his mum (that she has got for him) and the one small thing he mentioned to me a few weeks ago.

I honestly had no idea that there would be a list.

I'll own the fuck up on this one, it's my doing.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 06/11/2020 00:39

Completely unreasonable to expect a child to decide what they wanted 2 months before Christmas!

Marshyellow · 06/11/2020 00:39

Going to go against the grain and say don't worry. It sounds like a lot of thought has gone into his presents, and presumably his mum isn't going to take back the one from her for one on the list?

Ideasplease322 · 06/11/2020 00:44

Gertr I am so sad that you never wrote a Christmas list.

I used to love getting the Argos catalogue and a big red pen😊

We then had a list day where mum and dad would take us to the big toy store in the site and we would walk around to get ideas for our Santa list.

It was a big deal, best part of Christmas. I would agnostic over what to put on that list. There was a deadline, I think around 5 are Santa need time to plan. Oh the pressure of the deadline.

MadameMeursault · 06/11/2020 00:46

YABU. Ridiculous to do your shopping so early. There’s no way kids would have a final list by now. Serves you right for being a smug shopper! Get those presents unwrapped and returned to the shops!

Original poster
Gertr · 06/11/2020 00:49

@MadameMeursault

YABU. Ridiculous to do your shopping so early. There’s no way kids would have a final list by now. Serves you right for being a smug shopper! Get those presents unwrapped and returned to the shops!
What on earth are you talking about, smug shopper? Confused
OP posts:
BlueThistles · 06/11/2020 00:50

OP in the spirit of Christmas....

I think do think you are getting an unreasonably hard time on here... you're working with a tight budget and have planned ahead... you sound very caring. Flowers

Inkpaperstars · 06/11/2020 00:52

If you do have a few returns to make, I am sure that will be fine as returns are extended inmost places right now. If you bought them in store you might only have the paperwork/packaging to return them in store rather than by post, that should be fine to do once stores reopen as they will allow for lockdown delays etc. Alternatively if they do business online too you could enquire about postal returns. Unless DSS has a convenient birthday in early 2021!

frankie246 · 06/11/2020 00:54

That it from someone who works in the toy industry, being organised this year is no bad thing. We have never been so busy especially so early on. In a couple more weeks we will have sold out most of our lines.

yvanka · 06/11/2020 00:55

I am cackling at "smug shopper"!

See what is on the list, wait a few days and ask him what he wrote - whatever he can remember is clearly ultra important and everything else isn't.

Inkpaperstars · 06/11/2020 00:55

I can see you did your best OP and he probably would like the things you got...but it is resonable at this early stage for dc to still be able to do a list. If things on the list aren't suitable or are over budget then don't worry, because you probably wouldn't have got those anyway no matter when you shopped or got the list. Most dc realise they don't get all their list items.

At least your organisation probably means lots of other people are already shopped for Flowers

Thewiseoneincognito · 06/11/2020 00:58

I’d say you get him stuff off his list and take back some of the stuff you have prematurely wrapped. Unless of course you’re the wicked step mom in which case, you’re doing well!

EKGEMS · 06/11/2020 01:13

Who knew The Grinch was on Mumsnet?!!!

Beautiful3 · 06/11/2020 01:24

I think leave it. I'm sure he'll be pleased with it. I'm like you, all my presents have been bought. Nothing wrong with being prepared, especially on a low budget. If it bothers you, you could perhaps return a present to get one off his list?

DigitalChristmas · 06/11/2020 01:25

@BlueThistles

OP in the spirit of Christmas....

I think do think you are getting an unreasonably hard time on here... you're working with a tight budget and have planned ahead... you sound very caring. Flowers

I agree with blue thistles that you are getting a tough time on here. I’m sure the people posting would be just as quick to post to berate you for leaving the shopping too late if you were upset that items ok your list had already sold out. The only thing I’d do is if it was financially practical would perhaps be to swap one of the items for one on his list.
DontKnowHowToReact · 06/11/2020 02:45

If he's not written the list yet, can't you give him a few suggestions?

joystir59 · 06/11/2020 02:49

What an awful world where children write lists of what they want Santa to bring and parents feel obliged to buy what's on the list?

Muchadoaboutlife · 06/11/2020 03:09

This reply has been deleted

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StoppinBy · 06/11/2020 03:24

Wow, some mean people out today and OP is not one of them!

I think it's lovely that you are so organised and that the presents are all wrapped and waiting.

If some could be taken back for a refund or exchanged for 'list gifts', great, if not buy the cheapest on there and the rest of his stuff is gifts you have already bought.

You sound very thoughtful, this isn't a 'stuffup', at worst it's a tiny little 'oopsie'.

snowmantime · 06/11/2020 03:24

If i were you i'd offer to help him write the list and give him a few ideas of things you've already bought and If that doesn't work and theres no way to return the items then i'd just get one or two things of the list. My son always 'sends his list to santa' on December 1st and by Christmas day he's usually forgot most of the things that were on it anyways! I'm sure if you've put thought into the gifts he'll enjoy them whether or not they were on the list.

NeonGenesis · 06/11/2020 03:31

If it were me I'd just say that you've already bought his presents. He's 10, not 3.

Am I a mean mum? Blush

BarbaraofSeville · 06/11/2020 03:48

I honestly had no idea that there would be a list

Didn't this come up in previous years? You and DH have two DC which means that you must have been around when DSS was 7, 8 and 9 so didn't he give his dad his list then?

What does DH say about how his son normally does Christmas?

jessstan1 · 06/11/2020 04:12

@Fiveletters

It makes much more sense to wait for the letters to Father Christmas. Surely?
The boy is ten for goodness sakes! Or were you joking?

Op, you can surely return some of the things bought for him and replace them with things from the list. Or as someone else suggested, save them for his birthday if it isn't a year away.

You wrapped up the gifts far too early! We're only just in November.

spongebobscaredypants · 06/11/2020 04:21

I've been in this situation! Whilst he's doing it suggest helping him look for ideas... grab the iPad and show him some of the school stuff you've got. My kids know they only get maybe 50% of what's on their list then Santa chooses extras for them as surprises (as he knows what they'll like!)