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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

324 replies

Gertr · 05/11/2020 23:48

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

OP posts:
Ideasplease322 · 07/11/2020 21:12

@Jellyrunner

I haven’t been accused of being obtuse before. What I am saying is why should OP change her well thought out gifts? If others want to buy them then fine. But they are gifts. She shouldn’t have to return gifts and buy new.
Surely you must have been accused of being obtuse before, Give the position you are taking on a child’s Christmas gift😂😂😂

If op can afford some of the gifts this little boy wants, why on earth wouldn’t she return some of the things she has got him, so that on Christmas morning he gets Something he asked for?

This is his dad, not some random stranger?

I am not saying they have to buy him a Ferrari if he puts it in his list, but my goodness do most parents not want their child to get a few things the want for Christmas.

I used it put random stuff on my list, one year when I was about seven the only thing I wanted was chop sticks. ‘Santa’ brought me a beautiful set in pretty case. I still have them.

They weren’t expensive, But I felt so special getting. Them and would have been disappointed if this one wish hadn’t been granted.

Jellyrunner · 07/11/2020 21:20

Exactly not a random stranger, so the gifts are likely to be the kind of thing he wants

Jellyrunner · 07/11/2020 21:21

Plus. Those chopsticks I’m sure made you are the wonderful person you are today. I repeat. I am shocked by this thread. If your child is disappointed then have a word.

Ideasplease322 · 07/11/2020 21:22

@Jellyrunner

Exactly not a random stranger, so the gifts are likely to be the kind of thing he wants
Jelly glad you weren’t my mum. I would not have got my chop sticks😂😂😂
nosswith · 07/11/2020 21:26

He was asked, he said he didn't know, did not ask for time to think or do a list. I would not get any more presents.

gamerchick · 07/11/2020 21:26

@MadameMeursault

YABU. Ridiculous to do your shopping so early. There’s no way kids would have a final list by now. Serves you right for being a smug shopper! Get those presents unwrapped and returned to the shops!
It's ridiculous, this year to leave Christmas shopping until December. Anyone who does that deserves everything they get imo. Hmm

Maybe 1 thing off his list OP. Have a look at it, it might be fine

gamerchick · 07/11/2020 21:30

Are you also refusing to buy anything from wedding lists and chose your own "tasteful" gifts?

Could you imagine the thread if someone suggested that? Grin

Ideasplease322 · 07/11/2020 21:30

@Jellyrunner

Plus. Those chopsticks I’m sure made you are the wonderful person you are today. I repeat. I am shocked by this thread. If your child is disappointed then have a word.
The chip sticks are a fond memory

Why so mean????

Lowkeevslucille · 07/11/2020 21:36

I do not believe for a minute some of the posters on here have children, or at push no young children.

No one is so mean with little ones they really love.

Lowkeevslucille · 07/11/2020 21:39

It's ridiculous, this year to leave Christmas shopping until December. Anyone who does that deserves everything they get imo.

what? A cheerful family excited to unwrap gifts that will make them so happy? I take that Smile

and we are nowhere near December... no shop has remotely run out of anything, you can even find sparklers

kayteep · 07/11/2020 21:43

This is why I don’t do Christmas shopping until December! My children change their minds daily!

Juliehooligan · 07/11/2020 21:44

@Gertr I’ve nearly finished my Christmas shopping too! Our daughter is 13 and not sure what she really wants, so we have got her stuff that we think she will like!

2bazookas · 07/11/2020 21:51

@Fiveletters

It makes much more sense to wait for the letters to Father Christmas. Surely?
Maybe Father Christmas will write back and say "Thanks for getting in touch. The elves have had a lot of time off because of covid so I'm afraid we're a long way behind with production orders . Will do my best but ask for your patience in these difficult times. Yours Sincerely
gamerchick · 07/11/2020 21:57

@Lowkeevslucille

It's ridiculous, this year to leave Christmas shopping until December. Anyone who does that deserves everything they get imo.

what? A cheerful family excited to unwrap gifts that will make them so happy? I take that Smile

and we are nowhere near December... no shop has remotely run out of anything, you can even find sparklers

Yeah, like people who said they'll just get an online food delivery in February.

Like I said, deserve everything they get.

Jellyrunner · 07/11/2020 21:58

‘Why are you so mean?’

Seriously? Are some of you 4 years old????

Inkpaperstars · 07/11/2020 22:00

"Thanks for getting in touch. The elves have had a lot of time off because of covid so I'm afraid we're a long way behind with production orders . Will do my best but ask for your patience in these difficult times.

This could genuinely be a good way to explain present/list hiccups to some children this year! DP's parents used to worry that he would wonder why Father Christmas gave some children more/more expensive gifts than others so they said that parents have to send Father Christmas the money for your presents. So if your parents can't afford as much he doesn't bring as much. I'm not sure what to think about that!

Ideasplease322 · 07/11/2020 22:03

@Jellyrunner

‘Why are you so mean?’

Seriously? Are some of you 4 years old????

😂 I will bow out now.

We are different people. I would return a gift or two so that the child gets a few things he asked for on Christmas. You wouldn’t.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Jellyrunner · 07/11/2020 22:05

Gracious move

FelicisNox · 07/11/2020 22:07

YABU and you're confusing shopping early with being prepared, the 2 are not the same.

You should have said: we want to be prepared this year so your Christmas is needs to be in by..... and then wait for the list.

It's the beginning of November and the Christmas adverts haven't even started yet and kids get a lot of their ideas from those.

My DD is 15 and she has no idea and won't have before the 1st December and that's totally normal.

I suspect you bought early as you panick bought due to lockdown but delivery is still available on most things.

Lesson learned.

Ideasplease322 · 07/11/2020 22:09

@Jellyrunner

Gracious move
Oh jellyrunner I would love to understand what you are like in real life😂

I am imagining sister Michael in Derry girls - who I love.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=zogCo3flBsc

Bikingbear · 07/11/2020 22:12

and we are nowhere near December... no shop has remotely run out of anything, you can even find sparklers

I can smugly say that it's almost impossible to find a Madd Gear Extreme Scooter in Lime & Blue anywhereWink

Shops are likely to run out of popular stuff, as production and distribution has been affected by Covid. I've got most of my Christmas shopping for the young people in my life done. I really feel for Op but I do think exchanging some of these gifts NEEDS to be done.

Could you imagine the Relationships or AIBU boards, "My DS went to his Dads for Christmas, he never got him as single thing he asked for, he got him a load of other stuff he doesn't want". The Dad would get torn to bits. And from the childs point how heartbreaking, he must have stuff in mind that he wants only to get told "No sorry".

WaxOnFeckOff · 07/11/2020 22:50

All this, and we still don't know if the child in question has written a list and if so, what it contains so effectively we have no idea what we would deem appropriate to the circumstances - in other words, this could be a complete non issue. The child might not write a list, he might write a list with things the OP has already bought, he might write a list of stuff too expensive or inappropriate that the OP and her DH don't want to buy, or he may stick a couple of small bits that they may be prepared to add as they cost very little, or swap something they already have as it makes no odds.

Until there is (or isn't) a list, then there is no point worrying about it or arguing about it.

Runnerduck34 · 07/11/2020 23:34

I think YABU, you were a bit too quick, I always leave my DCs presents until last as they change their mind frequently, and tbh its only now that they start to think about what they might like as theres still 6/7 weeks to go.
Do you still have receipts could you take some things back for a refund and buy some items on his list? Also are there any family members that might be looking for present ideas for him?
For a child it would be harsh not to get any presents on your list. I understand that people like to be organised but there are other things you can prepare months in advance but buying presents for DC (other than stocking fillers) isnt one of them ime.

Jellyrunner · 07/11/2020 23:39

Well I do have a dry sense of humour and northern Irish heritage. I’m very happy for you to think of me as her. Read all my comments in that accent, and you will smile to be sure xx a merry Christmas to you and your family xxx

Mamanyt · 07/11/2020 23:53

Well, you are not being entirely unreasonable, but perhaps a bit unrealistic. Children that age change their minds (or don't make them up) every 10 minutes. I never buy for kids under 13 or so until sometime in December.