DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

[Gertr]

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

OP just wait for his list, maybe try and sneak in a suggestion or two of what you already have.

I do think you should of waited for his list. List writing is a very normal part of Xmas for kids and I’m surprised you didn’t do it. I did as a child and mine do lists every year.

Although so far we have ..

1 x kawaii mystery box

So Iv ordered loads of bits from Ali express and will make my own mystery box for her so she don’t end up for a box of crap.

Return some of the stuff you have bought and exchange it for stuff he wants. Plenty of time yet.

Make sure whatever he wants the most gets put at the top of the list so Santa knows it’s the most important.

That’s what I always say to mine.

I understand why you did it early good for you for being organised. As somebody posted, stock levels in a couple of weeks will be bad as people are buying early. So whilst those having a pop at you are running around looking for certain toys and paying over the odds, you can relax!

I’m not sure why posters are being dickheads Op, you did a great job in being organised from the sounds of it. I have to start planning and shopping for Christmas and birthdays in January as my illness and inability to work means that we have very little money coming in. Not everyone has money spare in December to await the “magic” of a Christmas list Clearly you asked your SC what he wanted but he didn’t know, you gave him a chance to decide for himself and didn’t just think “fuck it, he can have whatever shit we give him”. I don’t think many of the posters live in the real world and we are certainly not all in the same boat.

Wow arnt there a lot of delightful people on mumsnet!!!
OP I've done the same as you presents are bought and wrapped and I do this every year so I can enjoy the run up to Christmas without being completely stressed out.
I would see what is on the list, you never know something you have bought may well be on the list. If not you have the option of returning a gift, or if there is something on there that will only cost a small amount get that too.

I have all of my christmas shopping done, and I am already half way through wrapping. I have always done Christmas this way, so I am completely finished for the 1st of December to enjoy the festivities with my children, family and friends. I would be quickly overwhelmed if I had to do all the christmas shopping as well. So you are not wrong to be organised. Wait for the flood of desperate threads wailing about lost or mislaid deliveries every year, and those that are smart get ahead, especially in a pandemic.

When the children were small, I would hold off on buying their main presents for as long as possible, and they were often the last ones I would buy (We have all made the mistake you have op) my dc would change their minds multiple times even as late as Christmas eve. So ask the child to put it in writing, set a final date as FC can't do last minute with so many children to deliver to.

Those saying 'just return them' have forgotten all the shops are actually closed now for a month?????

I would narrow down his list to his absolute must haves, take some things back when you can and rope in other family members if they are willing to help with some of the other gifts.

I’ve explained to the Dc that most of Santa’s elves are working from home, whilst others are on furlough, so things might be a little unexpected this year.

I can see both sides as I too like to be organised and not last minute but obviously kids don't appreciate these sorts of logistics. I hope the list isn't too awkward.

There is middle ground here.
He is already getting stuff he wants from his mum. You could say that you've already got him most of his gifts and you are sure he will like them.

You have put thought and effort into his Christmas presents and you know what his Mum is getting him. So why not just leave it as it is? He may really want the things you have got him but just hasn't thought of them for himself.

Lots of people shop early for Christmas. Considering how manic it is going to be when the shops reopen I say you have done well.

Yeah as others have said it's only really adults you can be this prepared with...or getting the stocking fillers and surprise bits...sure there will be some bits you can return
Wait till the list nexr year or if thet qre younger the visit to santa xxx

Wait and see what's on the list.

There will probably be

• one thing someone has already got him

• one really cheap thing you can get as an extra

• one thing you can maybe exchange something you have bought him for

• something he would never have got in a million years anyway

It'll be fine.

Sorry OP but this is why I would never do xmas shopping so early for young children.

Kids are fickle creatures, and I make a few lists but always best wating until nearer the time to buy.

When we wrote lists as kids, or were asked what we wanted, my parents made sure we knew the budget and the Argos catalogue was available. It did avoid most of the unrealistic requests.

@Clevererthanyou

I’m not sure why posters are being dickheads Op, you did a great job in being organised from the sounds of it. I have to start planning and shopping for Christmas and birthdays in January as my illness and inability to work means that we have very little money coming in. Not everyone has money spare in December to await the “magic” of a Christmas list Clearly you asked your SC what he wanted but he didn’t know, you gave him a chance to decide for himself and didn’t just think “fuck it, he can have whatever shit we give him”. I don’t think many of the posters live in the real world and we are certainly not all in the same boat.

The money you spend throughout the year you could just save and spend in nov/Dec.

That’s what my friend does so her kids actually get stuff they want.

Just beacuse someone waits for a kids Xmas list before they start buying doesn’t mean they don’t live in the real world plenty of people save all year for Xmas.

It’s November. It’s not like her DSS has left lt late

Whilst you have done your shopping what I would call early, I do think that given you asked him and he didn't come up with anything then you can stick with what you've got. I'm a bit old school and think children need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them and their timescales. Give him what you've got and if he says anything get your DH to explain that he needs to think earlier what he wants etc.

Personally I think you should leave this to your DH, I appreciate your are family however they are his children. This is also a good lesson for boys - don't let them see that this is your job and responsibility - don't take the flack if they are unhappy with their gifts.

Life lesson here OP. I buy small stocking fillers all year round but the significant gifts always waited for the Santa letter. Even now they are grown up with homes of their own I apply a similar principle although now I just listen out for hints and clues in November/early December.

It’s not just kids that change their minds. I’m embarking on a new lockdown hobby. I’m absolutely loving it and there are a few £20-£30 items that would enhance it and make ideal Christmas gifts from my D.C. but my enthusiasm could have died down before then so I won’t put them on my Amazon wish list just yet.

Hopefully you can return a few things but if not don’t be too disheartened. It’s not good for D.C. to get everything on their Santa letter. They shouldn’t come to think of it as an order form that must be fulfilled. Equally I’m sure a few well chosen surprises will be received with delight. There is also a very strong chance that by the time Christmas morning arrive he will have forgotten what he asked for 8 weeks previously.

I think you have been gracious in owning this.

The issue (which you have acknowledged) is that you have not yet had personal experience of parenting older children. He’s is Year 5 or 6 presumably. My own DC3 is 9. His tastes are very specific. I like to buy my DC “surprises” for Christmas. But I always ask for and buy from a list too. Finishing shopping by early November is great for you. Not so much for your DSS.

I do think that you should try to put this right.

I’d return what you can, if you can. But even if nothing goes back I’d still buy him at least a couple of items from his list.

What does your DH say about it? Presumably he wants to get his son things he wants.

The comment about him being 10 not 3 is, in my opinion, all wrong. Most 3 year olds will be happy with whatever they get. A 10 year old has particular likes and dislikes and interests. But is very much emotionally still a child. About the worst age to have a Christmas disappointment I’d say. No - before people pile in to say they never had a list, or never had anything at all and are fully functional - it will likely not damage him. But it will disappoint him. And is very likely to remember it. I’m 50 now. I still have very vivid memories of Christmas and Christmas gifts.

Try to make this a happy experience for your DSS. Best of luck.

He knows it's you shopping and not Santa, and he knows it's a wishlist not list of demands hopefully. Either tell him you've already finished shopping or let him do it to see if you went mega wrong like bought him a load of dinosaur stuff and he asked for a load of minecraft stuff.
But unless you've bought completely different things, I wouldn't take anything back. He'll like what you bought him and if he complains he didn't get what he asks for then something's gone wrong somewhere.

You live and you learn! I’ve made many Christmas mistakes over the year! Try and get him a couple of bits from his new list. Prepare to expect that to change again!

I am one of these organized people who like to be all prepared by november. I only do stockings and 1 present from santa so that makes it easier to be prepared. I get nervous by november on a normal year, this year knowing that deliveries are going to be an absolute nightmare and IF we come out of lockdown on the 2nd of December shops will be insane, I was very anxious to get things done. I would just swap 1 or 2 things on the list OP. This year is going to be hard for alot of families, I think there will be alot off children who dont get exactly what they asked for.

When planning Christmas with a budget you need to start early. You use the disposable income you can so that it’s sorted and out the way.

Op just wait till you see his list, if anything can be returned then try that but when I was young I used to write lists and completely forget what was on them so I’m not even sure my mum got me anything I asked for in advance and I always loved my Christmas presents.

He’s ren he’s suggestible - start now!

DSS how are you getting on with your list? I saw this thing I think you’d love...

Ooh look at this! How cool is that?

You’ll get a few of the things you have on the list if you both do that then it’s the conversation about how the list is a suggestion and you don’t get everything on it. It’ll be fine!

I always ask mine for a list well before I start shopping.

It is only early November. No one writes to Father Christmas yet. You are being unfair.