DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

[Gertr]

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

I’d return the items and go with his list. You can shop early for small ones but older ones i would always wait for a list. Imagine he would be gutted to get nothing he asked for when the others get gifts they will love.

I find other people’s Christmas traditions fascinating. There are no Christmas lists here at all. Children sometimes say they’d lov x or y but basically everything mine get is a surprise. Christmas presents also come from people though there are lots of silly chicks and yo-yos etc in a stocking to rustle on your toes in the morning. I can’t imagine a shopping list being presented
I’m sorry you’ve worked so hard OP only to have this happen. It seems really unfair.

I think you're being given a really hard time OP. I never wrote a Christmas list and my DD never has done either! Didn't know it was a thing. You have spent time and money on thoughtful presents, I'm sure DSC will be happy with what he gets.

Surely the fun is in getting surprises and things you don't know about?

@DaddysGirlForLife

I would tell him there's no need for a list as you've bought some presents already that you are sure he's going to like.

Remind him that you did ask for a list but he didn't prepare one. Hopefully it'll be a lesson learnt for next year.

He's 10 years old! Apart from the fact that children can change what they are into from one week to the next, who the hell expects them to have a Christmas list submitted two or three months in advance?

@Halliehallie9828

In many, many years of teaching I observed that very few children believe after the ages of 7/8. I cannot recall a single 10 year old (SEN aside) who believed but I know a few who pretended to.

They will have been told in the playground. They know but go along with it to get the presents. Both DS's knew before they admitted to us that they did. Kids aren't daft.

I would try to get something from his list. It is harder as they get older because at 3 or 4 you can get them pretty much anything or guide them to what you think should be on the list but when older they have their own ideas and likes/dislikes.

DS will be 10 this months and absolutely still believes in Father Christmas, I have no idea why so many think children this age definitely don’t believe 🙄

@ittooshallpass

I think you're being given a really hard time OP. I never wrote a Christmas list and my DD never has done either! Didn't know it was a thing. You have spent time and money on thoughtful presents, I'm sure DSC will be happy with what he gets.

Surely the fun is in getting surprises and things you don't know about?

I think lots of people ask children to tell them a few things they would like, not necessarily a shopping list.

Parents don't necessarily know what a 10 year old would like, and for lots of kids getting what your friends all get is a lot of the fun.

If he hasn't done his list yet try steer him towards the things you've bought him?
You say you put a lot of thought into it sochancss are if he's given hints he might choose them anyway.

I've done most of my Christmas shopping already so I dont think you are BU. We have a tight budget so we spread it over several pay days.
We havent bought my DSS's gifts yet though as similar has happened in the past all be it mid December.
They are old enough not to believe in Santa now though so it makes it a bit easier.

One of my DDs ( aged almost 4) has announced, prompted by halloween I think, she would like a real bat for Christmas. Wtf. She's absolutely adamant.

So he had no idea what he wanted? Therefore people who know him well made an educated guess to get things he would like. You are on a limited budget and it will be a huge inconvenience for you to return things so you can replace them with things that he never even wanted until forced to do some virtual window shopping at the last minute.
Disappointment happens when things don't go according to expectation. So if he does not write a list he cannot be disappointed that you did not get what was on it. I'm sure you've not got him a lump of coal!
I think you're being given a hard time. You did your best and he knew you were shopping early. It's too late this year. It won't kill him not to get the latest must-have the toy manufacturers are pushing.

My kids get a few small presents bought and wrapped in October, then one 'big' present off their list that I buy in December. Means I get the worst of the shopping over early but they still get something they really want.
It might be worth figuring out your system now OP for when your little ones are older too. So maybe you get one thing off your list and some surprises. That way you'd only need to do a little returning and buying this year.

I am gobsmacked that someone has bought and wrapped all their Christmas presents by the beginning of November.

I enjoy buying them and wrapping them while watching a film. I wouldn’t enjoy purchasing them and wrapping them in a frenzy before shoving them to the back of a cupboard to be forgotten about for 8 weeks.

I think you’d better unwrap a few and return them and get him some things he’s asked for seeing as he’s written to Father Christmas. Poor kid, even his letter has been a bit early.

Hmm, can you take a few of his other presents back?

I can understand wanting to be organised, but to be honest I think you were a bit silly to buy all of the kids presents so early before they had a chance to think about what they wanted. I've not even thought about Christmas shopping yet!

No need for the harsh comments on here. With the year its been being organised was a sensible thing to do.

I've bought for my DC however one is too young to list make and the other old enough to know he has no clue what he wants and every year says just surprises.

I would see what is on the list, compare and then decide

If you can’t return some of the presents (might not be easy as shops are shut) is there any one that would normally get a present for your step-son that could buy some off you? An aunt / uncle / grandparent?
I get trying to be organised but unfortunately as they get older and are able to choose you have to wait really.

I also think you're getting a hard time op.
I start shopping in august, gifts get wrapped as I buy them. It's really not that unusual to budget and buy things when you can afford them.
As for the list, he's 10 so you tell him that the list is for ideas and he may get 1 or 2 things off it. You know him, you've been thoughtful and bought things you think he'll like. My guess is you may have got things off his list without knowing.
My cut off for the list is 1st November, my 2 are a similar age and understand I need to spread the cost.

I'd start pointing out adverts for things you have bought.

I do this with mine, I also limit there list to Santa to 4 things and every year miss something. Sometimes I will ask someone else to get it for them, but it helps limit their expectation. They did their list over half term.

I used to work for a giraffe and I would log in to check the system for key items, stock levels, promos etc and some things could wait and others couldn't. It's a pandemic, non essential shops (aka your independent toy shops) are going to be closed so to support them you had to shop in November.

I suspect some of those calling OP smug will be back on in December complaining stuff is sold out, especially if lockdown is suspended and in non essential retail myself I anticipate it will be.

Also the entertainer had £20 of £100 two weeks ago, you can bet I used that for big things! Hot toys that will not be discounted etc.

This is why shopping early doesn’t always pay off 🤨

Maybe buy him one of the items off his list so he’s not too disappointed? I’m sure he will be happy with the things you have bought and he’s old enough to understand that he can’t have everything on his list.

I have almost finished my shopping too, my DD’s are a bit older and neither of them wanted anything so I chose things I thought they would like, luckily they are old enough to understand that because of covid I have shopped early and made my own choices as to what I think they would like.

10 is unfortunately the age where what they want in September may well be different from what they want by September. With small children it's pretty easy to pick "stuff they'll want" based on general tastes and the things they play with. At 10, it's much harder to buy presents early as tastes change so much, crazes come and go etc. Personally I think DSS is being pretty organised if he's writing a list now!! I'd suggest wait for the list, make sure he has at least 1 biggish thing off it, and accept that you may have to take some of the presents you've already bought back.

arrrggh "What they want in September may well be different from what they want by December

Peopling this site are real cunts. Don’t worry op. Maybe grab one thing of the list but don’t stress. You sound like you put a lot of thought in and he will be happy. People on here ar being cruel.

Honestly I’d just say oh you can give me your list but I think Santa might have started building them already, I’ll see what I can do. And get something smaller. I understand money is tight. Kids that age prefer lots of little things to unwrap in my experience.

Don’t worry about it so much.

I’ve bought nothing!

I have told my children to make a list of 10 things and it is up to santa to pick one thing off it and what ever else they get is a bonus. You could maybe try that a f see how that works..

I would not be buying a 10 year old lots of things he's not asked for. By that age they know what they like. It's okay for a few stocking fillers but not main presents.

Has he got an interferring older sister?

I once found my parent's stash of presents for my bother, told him everything I'd seen and was caught out when the subsequent penned Christmas List matched the bought items exactly . Still, it avoided the problem of him asking for things they hadn't got him.

Seriously, you sound like you care about him - that's the main thing. A childhood filled with love is far more important than getting everything on this list. Wait to see what it is, you might be pleasantly surprised to see you've already choden well or might see something obvious that you could exchange something you bought for.

YABU.

Why on earth would you have done all your Christmas shopping and wrapping by 5 November? What do you do for the rest of the year- buy Easter eggs?