DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

[Gertr]

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

I am sure you will be able to return things.

My children keep wanting to talk about Christmas presents and I tell them it is too early as I don’t doubt that they will change there minds. I am only picking up surprises and stocking fillers at the moment.

I really dont think now is too early to do the Xmas present shop. We’re in a lockdown with none essential shops closed, and have to do most of our shopping online. My postman said they are starting to get overwhelmed with parcels already, and it’s only a matter of time before we see delayed postal deliveries because the staff won’t be able to cope.

Remind him that you did ask for a list but he didn't prepare one. Hopefully it'll be a lesson learnt for next year.

OMG. “The deadline for provision of information as to gift preferences was close of business on 15 October. We trust that you appreciate that the purchase of Christmas items is logistically complex and requires a minimum of two calendar months. Having failed to give the contractually agreed notice for we regret that we are unable to accede to your requests. We suggest that you comply with the stated deadline in future years to avoid disappointment”

Take back what you bought and buy him what he wants.

I have always done Christmas this way, so I am completely finished for the 1st of December to enjoy the festivities with my children, family and friends.

You start “festivities” on 1 December?

Whoops!

I'd let him write the list with limits esp as he is getting stuff from Mums side too, max of 3 things, then I'd try to make sure I have those 3 things, even if it means returning other stuff.

I certainly don't blame you for starting your shopping early. Many people are frightened of supply issues and not being able to get stuff in lockdown.

If it's any comfort I'm in a similar boat. DS changed his list last night. Lucky for me I've got most of it covered and a February birthday to mop up the rest!

I’d wait for the list and then give a mix of what you’ve bought and his top choices from the list .

If you’ve chosen things you think he’ll love then it’s a shame not to give those .

How far away is his birthday ? Re excess gifts / things you can’t afford now

I think you're panicking too early. Can you help him write the list and steer him in the direction of what you've bought?

Btw telling people not to shop early reeks of privilege. Some of us don't have the time or money to leave it any later than now.

I deliberately never did shopping early for this very reason.

cheeta Yup, December is all about fun! Parties, visits to family, theatre visits, crafts and cooking and having a great time! When the kids were younger, father christmas visits and special days out.
I have spa days booked, hair dressers and all the rest to feel very relaxed and together, and my Decembers are the best month of the year without a doubt - with zero stress. I am not trudging around the shops, fighting the crowds looking at the left over dregs and staying up all hours of the night wrapping.

So yes Christmas is totally done even the dogs stockings by the very latest mid November - and I have done the same for the last fifteen years - it works for us.

This is mainly because children have little concept of cost and i have a feeling it's going to be full of things that are upwards of £50 per item.

At 10yo I would expect them to have some idea of cost, (you need to start teaching him if he really doesn't) but actually my experience is that hey tend to ask for little things as well as bigger.

Nobody needs to trudge around shops to Christmas shop any more @1haveyourback. Do you hold all the rest of your family to the same high organisational standards so they are free to enjoy prolonged festivities with you? How exhausting for them.

I nearly always buy the bulk of my gifts before December, just find it less stressful that way. My kids are only allowed to list 3 items they want on a list to posted Santa in early December - often I have bought something similar already or I get one of the items, dd is often not realistic in her list so she gets different things, everyone has a lovely time. I wouldn't stress about it, wait for the list and then decide if you need to change anything / add something small. Mine nearly always put sweets as one of their 3 choices - which is an easy one to fulfil.

"sometimes Santa (or Us -does he believe?) might not be able to get everything you want but he (we) get surprise presents"

@RicStar

I nearly always buy the bulk of my gifts before December, just find it less stressful that way. My kids are only allowed to list 3 items they want on a list to posted Santa in early December - often I have bought something similar already or I get one of the items, dd is often not realistic in her list so she gets different things, everyone has a lovely time. I wouldn't stress about it, wait for the list and then decide if you need to change anything / add something small. Mine nearly always put sweets as one of their 3 choices - which is an easy one to fulfil.

There’s a huge difference between “before December” and “by 5 November”.

I have spa days booked, hair dressers and all the rest to feel very relaxed and together, and my Decembers are the best month of the year without a doubt - with zero stress. I am not trudging around the shops, fighting the crowds looking at the left over dregs and staying up all hours of the night wrapping

I have done xmas for my family for 25 years and have never trudged round the shops fighting for the dregs, and I never start before December 1st, unless they wanted something very specific which I'll buy in advance.

@Muchadoaboutlife

Smug shopper 🤣 that made me laugh. It means you smugly got all ahead of yourself thinking you were done for Xmas in November. Hilarious! Sorry OP but your predicament has really made my day on a day of real crap going on in the world. And you wrapped them! That’s so funny. Who wraps at the beginning of November!! Hahaha! Just what I needed. You got caught out!

Better to be a smug shopper than a spiteful cow.

I admire your forward planning OP, and the consideration you are showing towards your stepson. As others have said, see what his list says and then see if you can get a couple of things from it, even if you've got to unwrap and return one or two things. It's annoying, when you thought you had everything, quite literally, wrapped up but just grit your teeth. It's not a huge job and then you can relax and it will still be early November!
There are some dreadful posts on here- sneering sadists hiding behind their anonymity, taking pleasure in someone's slight misfortune. And then there's you: a kind person seeking a bit of consolation/ encouragement. I know who I'd rather have in my life.

God there's some miserable fuckers on here.

Don't worry op. Just exchange some for items pn the list.

I did the same a few years ago and bought extra. My youngest then changed his mind on about the 23rd

@Gertr

Naively, I honestly didn't realise the list making was a big thing.

My DC are too young to ask for specific things for Christmas so I just get them things I know they'll like.

In my own case, I never wrote Christmas lists myself. I would tell my DM if there was something I really wanted but the rest of my gifts would be whatever the gifters thought I would like.

The only things DSS has mentioned at all are his main present from his mum (that she has got for him) and the one small thing he mentioned to me a few weeks ago.

I honestly had no idea that there would be a list.

I'll own the fuck up on this one, it's my doing.

Ok. Stop beating yourself up.

His father should possibly have known about lists?

Look at it and see what's doable. But it will also be nice for him to get some surprises.

I would use power of suggestion to try and steer the list towards a couple of the bigger things you've already got. My DC usually add 'a surprise' to their list so that covers anything else you've already bought.

My DC know they won't get everything on their list but would expect to get something off it.

I can fully understand wanting to be organised (particularly this year with so much uncertainty over shops reopening and such) but you did jump the gun a little. If he’d left the list till the week before Christmas then fair enough but it’s early November.

I’d return a couple and replace with things from his list.

Surely if you wrap at the beginning of November the presents are going to look a bit scruffy or at least tired by 25th December?

In any case how depressing, these uptight posters who have “done and dusted” Christmas before it’s even started. I suspect strong correlation between ridiculously-early preparation and liking artificial trees with coordinated baubles. Christmas is supposed (for children) to be magical. Some people think Christmas is just another thing to be Marie Kondod to death.

To be honest I think it's a little presumptuous/rude of kids that age who know father xmas isn't real to make a list of what they want 🤷‍♀️
I've pretty done all my shopping - I keep a note of things they've mentioned through the year and then get them that. If they are racking their brains to write a list they can't have wanted it that much anyway compared so something they've mentioned several times Over the previous few months