To feel hacked off with the way my assistant spoke to me today?

[Maria53]

I was promoted from a junior position around lockdown time & 2 months ago an assistant was hired to help me with 2 specific projects/lighten the load.

I was asked to find brand ambassadors for an important client, something no one at the company has done before. Therefore even my boss has been asking my advice on how to do it as it is going very well.

The issue is that at the beginning I was told to cast the net far and wide, reaching out to many potential leads and see who came back. In the end too many came back when I didnt know if we would get anyone!

I've had to pick a few and havent replied to those who only expressed mild interest. My assistant raised it a few days ago, wanting to know why I had 'ghosted' the leads now it has only been a week since I spoke to them and I am still making my decisions. I explained this is all a learning curve for me to and we can look at putting a strategy in place for us and the wider team.

She replied again saying 'well I just think it is very bad practice'. That stopped me in my tracks because no colleague would speak to me like that or vice versa.

I am doing the jobs of 2 people now effectively and it is very hard doing everything. AIBU to not appreciate this and want to know how to handle it?

She definitely has a point and is giving you valuable feedback. You will sour relations with these people and your company and create a bad image and poor rapport by doing as you are. It’s professional, polite and courteous to respond even if it’s a rejection.

I personally wouldnt dream of telling a manager that I thought what they were doing was very bad practice.

Really? Even if what they were doing was, objectively and clearly, bad practice?

The comments in the spreadsheet are a bit twatty but clearly she has a strong opinion, which you have dismissed without considering or discussing it with her. I actively encourage everyone in my team to speak up if they see something wrong, regardless of who's doing it - doesn't mean I don't make the final decisions, but it does mean that we are a team, I am not perfect, and we work together for the right outcome.

I benefit because when other people challenge me, I have to consider whether I am doing it right; sometimes I then adapt my approach because I can see their point of view. I don't barge ahead with my original plan, and that means I make fewer mistakes/errors of judgement.

@Maybe83 as I said in the OP, no one at the agency has any experience with this. I was told to do it and do it quickly so there was no real time to sit down with the strategy. Now several colleagues are taking my advice on it, because while I clearly haven't perfected the process, we have 2 great brand ambassadors now.

I am so over worked along with everyone else since lockdown I dont have time to sit down and do this in a normal working day. So I'll sit down and create an initial plan for assistant to develop so it is done. But I'll get zero compensation for the overtime.

She sounds fine - you should respond to people in a timely fashion and apart from putting them on a spreadsheet you sound like you don't know what you were going to do next. Good on her for raising her concerns. Get her to send them a follow up email as a hold and then make some decisions about who to use quickly.

I don’t see why you need to “develop a strategy” here when all you need to do is send a brief rejection email. It’s not a difficult, mammoth task my dear.

@LadyJaye

She sounds brilliant. I'd love an assistant like that.

You sound like you need to get over yourself and learn how to actually manage people, as opposed to assuming you're better than them by dint of hierarchy.

This. Absolutely.

Thanks @PointyMcguire good suggestion

Ever heard of a.... Mail merge?!

...why didn't you have a strategy in place before you sought out new leads?

"You’re her manager, that doesn’t make you more important than her."

^^agreed

It doesn't make you more right than her either

In the status she actually wrote 'we ghosted them'.

She's not wrong. It can be updated if you do bother to get back to them.

Are you new to management? Calm it with the management speak and self importance.

If this was our Comms. team I would expect that kind of feedback but couched much more professionally. We basically revolted against the decision of a director as we thought it would damage the reputation of the company. If the assistant has time id be asking her to send a holding email. Thanks for interest, we'll get back to you in [reasonable timeframe].

But I'll get zero compensation for the overtime.

Welcome to the higher echelons!

Your assistant is right. A quick thank you acknowledgement with a date for formal response will go a long way to build your reputation.
I would tell a manager if I thought they were not following best practice.

I agree with you, OP. She may be right, but she is there to carry out tasks under your direction. The strategy is your role and you are accountable for it. So, really, it doesn’t matter what she thinks. But you won’t get people on MN to agree with that.

So the whole reason you're doing this is for good publicity right? So surely personally asking a tonne of, I'm assuming brand ambassadors are influencers, influencers to work for your company and then leaving them stewing for a week probably isn't gonna leave the best taste of your company in their mouths, they can be a negative influence just as easily as a good one, I get that you want respect for the pecking order at your work but you're just gonna have to bring it up with her if it's an issue for you, cus she clearly feels comfortable enough to do it.

Maybe I'm missing the point though.

I guess I feel it is fair to bring up constructive feedback but I dont feel she handled it professionally.

Clearly others think differently though

You don’t need a strategy ( for now at any rate). You just need a holding email thanking people for their interest and saying you will be back in touch before xx date.

You tell her that putting ghosted down as a comment is unacceptable.
Tell her to remove the comment, and then tell her if she feels that strongly about people needing a reply, you would like short to the point email, thanking people for their interest, but unfortunately they were unsuccessful this time, but their details will be kept on record.
She can PP it from you.

She sounds great, tbh. She gives a damn, is concerned with the company's reputation, and wants this job done right. Keen as mustard.

It's not her job to help you brainstorm a complicated solution to a simple oversight - you're supposed to be in charge! Saying "good point, whip up an email saying "thanks, position filled, can we keep you on file? Love, company" and send that to category X" would have taken you seconds. Instead you have gestures widely all this.

She won't stay, if she's stuck with you. She's already frustrated. Hence the bluntly honest spreadsheet notes. Been there, ditched that company.

I agree - I'd ask her to draft a holding email (though I'd want to check it before she sent it.) I agree she shouldn't talk to you in that way - she does sound disrespectful. It's only been a week ffs; it's not as though you've kept them waiting for months.

I think she was maybe a bit too direct and perhaps a little unprofessional with the "we ghosted them".

Are you her line manager? Perhaps bring it up in a general way in a meeting with her / in reviews. So not saying "you did x and I wasn't happy" but perhaps couch it as working on giving diplomatic feedback and making sure documents are board-level ready etc.

Yes @Timeandtune. Think I just need to put together a few templates tonight that we can pick from.

Everyone workload has increased tenfold since lockdown. It is really hard going sometimes.

I think part of being a senior (and any worker for that matter) is being able to take feedback.

No @Baggingarea I manage the projects but I am not her LM. The LM does ask me how she is getting on though.

She can be very direct. In a meeting the other day I was annoyed because I came up with an idea which my LM liked. Assisstant said 'oh I don't think that is a great idea personally....' !

Also she was 30 mins late to a meeting with me and my LM and when LM asked her why she said she just forgot and did not apologise.

I think she is really capable but in development mode & sometimes isnt great with social cues.