To feel hacked off with the way my assistant spoke to me today?

[Maria53]

I was promoted from a junior position around lockdown time & 2 months ago an assistant was hired to help me with 2 specific projects/lighten the load.

I was asked to find brand ambassadors for an important client, something no one at the company has done before. Therefore even my boss has been asking my advice on how to do it as it is going very well.

The issue is that at the beginning I was told to cast the net far and wide, reaching out to many potential leads and see who came back. In the end too many came back when I didnt know if we would get anyone!

I've had to pick a few and havent replied to those who only expressed mild interest. My assistant raised it a few days ago, wanting to know why I had 'ghosted' the leads now it has only been a week since I spoke to them and I am still making my decisions. I explained this is all a learning curve for me to and we can look at putting a strategy in place for us and the wider team.

She replied again saying 'well I just think it is very bad practice'. That stopped me in my tracks because no colleague would speak to me like that or vice versa.

I am doing the jobs of 2 people now effectively and it is very hard doing everything. AIBU to not appreciate this and want to know how to handle it?

Also she said it was bad practice. Did she offer a solution? Did she offer to contact them with an update?
No she didn't she just wanted to have a go.

@UntamedWisteria

People have died in plane crashes before because junior staff were afraid to criticise senior staff.

Extreme.

There's a difference between...

1. Being helpful by speaking up and making suggestions on how to improve something

And

2. Being unhelpful by just going "I don't like it" and offering no solution.

actually attempting to implement best practice

Which has been communicated to her by whom? Not the OP (her boss). Where is this idea of ‘best practice’ coming from, other than her (inexperienced) mind?

You’re getting hung up on the hierarchy. You seem to think she spoke out of turn given her position as an assistant. Whereas she is a human being with opinions, values and ideas, just like you. You sound very condescending. Through the examples of your replies to her that you’ve posted on here, your being incredibly patronising.

@Maria53

I personally wouldnt dream of telling a manager that I thought what they were doing was very bad practice.

I guess some here will just see it as sharing views - I'm not sure.

She sounds a bit blunt. But you sound touchyand very attached to the hierarchy in your workplace.

@Maria53

And today she sent out something out with spelling errors after I asked her to correct them. She did correct them but then made the errors again elsewhere.

She has stopped running things by me as much but she hasnt got the hang of everything yet. I do value professional feedback and want to do a good job. Everyone is over worked here.

Perhaps a written reprimand for her file -- that you asked for spelling errors to be corrected and she repeated the errors and did not run the final copy past you. She has the right to her opinion but not to independence when she is an assistant.

@CatherinedeBourgh

She’s right, it’s very unprofessional to contact someone then not get back in touch. I would expect a response (can be a holding email) within 24 hours.

😂

This is how I feel @BlueJag. I didn't expect to see that language anywhere but Tinder.

She is quite arrogant and abrupt at times. But she is smart and has potential if she can tone it down and be more professional.

It's standard practice to inform those who haven't been successful and, hopefully, to say why

It is usual practice. But actually, doing so after a week might not be the best strategy. That is for the OP to judge, as she is the boss.

I think your promotion's gone to your head Op.

It is poor practice not to get back to your leads promptly.

It's actually good that she feels confident enough to challenge you when you're wrong or dropped the ball a bit. She's not perfect, neither are you. She didn't say anything unprofessional.

I am an assistant (with ten years experience) and she sounds young and inexperienced but frankly you lost me as soon as you started talking as if you were her superior.

I have a brilliant relationship with the two people I support as they see me as their equal, listen to and value my opinion and treat me like a member of the team. I've looked after a few people who don't see me as the above and honestly I just don't care about the work I do for them because they don't care about me \(ツ)/¯

It is poor practice not to get back to your leads promptly.

‘Promptly’ is a subjective standard. Some people might like to feel the process of consideration would be longer than one week. Others might expect to hear within 2 days. There is no rule for this. The OP is the manager and this is down to her judgement.

Right exactly @Baggingarea

If you're going to a super busy manager with ciricitism, you should be armed with some ideas for solutions. I have to say I probably did similar when I just started out but not so directly.

Before you do this again op, set out a workflow, BEFOREHAND.

Collate all the info for the people you want to contact on a spreadsheet. You can use this to mailmerge mass emails, if you use the filter you can have two emails to those accepted and those rejected. You could even set up rules so a holding email is sent as soon as they email you.

Remember to bcc them all though so you don't share their email addresses

I am an assistant (with ten years experience) and she sounds young and inexperienced but frankly you lost me as soon as you started talking as if you were her superior.

She is.

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2

Lol at the spread sheet comment, she's hilarious

She sounds awful.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this - you’re going to have to manage her well and set out clear expectations and feedback when she is being unprofessional.

BIG mistake though to post in AIBU!

I don't think she was out of order if it had been 3 plus weeks but a week especially right now given offices are not all fully manned is a bit premature.

I'd definitely set her the task of drafting the thanks but no thanks approach to those who you don't wish to progress and tell her to be more diplomatic in her communication with you

The upshot is your the shot caller here, not her. I would be having a word with her about her position in the scale of things and the company culture with regards to speaking to colleagues, especially senior colleagues. Hopefully that sorts it out. Also give your boss a heads up so they are aware your having the conversation.

If I do something badly, I expect my assistants to feel comfortable enough to tell me as much.

If my managers do something badly, I expect them to feel comfortable with me pointing it out.

Yes, there's a chain of command, but if no one is empowered to call out their bosses, that's a really shitty workplace culture.

The way I read your posts, you're working extra hard at the moment and finding it tough and you know you haven't been perfect at everything, which is why a little home truth is hurting you so much. Don't make up management waffle and throw it back at her - own it.

All you needed to do was admit was she had a point, you could have done things better, and as you're so swamped, could she help you with contacting everyone? Really, this was a golden opportunity to delegate down some donkey work and make her feel as if her opinion was valued at the same time.

There's a lot of deflection in your posts.

And no, I don't expect everyone criticising me to have a solution. I'd expect it from someone above me, as they should have enough experience to come up with one. I wouldn't necessarily expect it from someone below me - I'd be content with them identifying even if they can't do the solving yet.

I think she sounds great. Yeah maybe her language wasn’t spot on but she’s made you realise that it’s not ok hasn’t she? But honestly I don’t understand why this is such a massive deal? All the brand ambassador searches I’ve ever seen have an outline of what they need, what they expect, what benefits they will get if chosen, when the applications close and when you’ll hear back by. It would be good manners to reply to them all with the generic “hey, thanks for showing your interest in our brand ambassador position. We will be going through all applications on/after XYZ date and we expect to make our decisions by ABC date. Thanks again, generic brand in need of ambassador”. It’s really not hard and I think she was right to have brought it up. A week is a pretty long time in the world we live in nowadays- emails, texts, DMs etc take seconds to reply to and it would just have been good manners.

Think she is just offering her opinion. She is the assistant so is meant to be helping you. It is not a dig just her outlining you should have a feedback process. I would thank her and get her involved in helping to give feedback / rejection emails.

You need the assistance, so invest in getting on with her and developing her abilities. You should have had a timescale to respond to the positives.

I think you could both take a good look at how you work together.

Doing something for the first time isn't an excuse to do it badly, and to refuse to listen to constructive feedback. She's right - it is bad practice not to have a comms plan in place, for both successful and unsuccessful candidates.

At the same time, it sounds like she could also work on her tone and her presence at work.

Although your comments suggest you simply don't like her.