Neighbour asked us not to do fireworks?

[lockdownqueen]

I'm in a group chat with girls on our new build estate I've sent out a pre warning as hubby has gone and bought some. Everyone was fine and said they will be in there gardens to watch then one of the girls asked us not too as her dog has severe panic attacks.

don't know what to do? Kids have been looking forward to them.

aibu to go ahead and do them?

The only other thing would be to avoid any particularly loud ones - you might not have any anyway as they tend to be all noise and no sparkle!

Absolutely go for it. People cannot dictate to you that you should live your life to please their pets. If they have a problem, they should move somewhere without neighbours.

I can see both sides here. I love watching fireworks - but dog2, who died early this year, was terrified of them (and of thunder - it was the noise that set her off) - the weeks around Guy Fawkes Night would see us mewed up in the house, with all the curtains shut, holding her in my arms on the couch as she shook uncontrollably with fear whenever there were fireworks in the vicinity.

She was a rescue dog, and as a result of her early life, she had her issues when she came to us - she was always pretty highly strung, and nothing that we did really helped her much with her reaction to loud noises. All we could do was to comfort her as she shook in terror - which was distressing for all concerned.

Ddog1 has also become less tolerant of fireworks as she got older - she is a very laid back Labrador, but in recent years, she has started to react negatively to fireworks and thunder too - I do wonder if she ‘caught’ the fear from ddog2. Her fear of fireworks started to show up at around the time ddog2’s was fading - she went deaf in her old age, so she couldn’t hear the fireworks, which was a relief for her.

There are fireworks going off on our estate at the moment, so once again, I am shut up in the front room, with the doors and curtains shut, comforting a scared dog. I wouldn't be sad if private firework displays were banned, and no-one could sell fireworks except to properly licensed displays, but I wouldn’t ask my neighbours to stop setting them off.

It's a CF move to even ask. Fair enough ask what time fireworks will be happening but to expect a neighbourhood not to have any because of your dog is just daft.

Meh. When the pet owners around here start picking the shite up off the pavements and grassy areas, maybe then I’ll start giving them some consideration. Until then I’ll be suiting myself.

(I’m not setting off fireworks but it’s a point of principle).

It’s not just dogs, I was listening to a radio programme and people were phoning in about their autistic and special needs children who were terrified. It’s so bloody antisocial and selfish.

Sorry, but how do your children’s disappointment out way this ? Yabu

@Bluntness100

That’s difficult. You should not have given a heads up if you were not willing to act on feedback

If you’re adamant you’re going ahead them I’d email her and say ok, I was not aware but don’t feel I can let the children done tonight. They will be between 6 and 6.15 if you’d like to take your dog out for a walk during this period so they are not impacted.

I think taking a dog outside for a walk when there are fireworks going off all round is the worst thing they could do . Far better to be at home with their own basket , toys and somewhere they feel safe to hide .

@GuillermoVanHelsing

If I knew it was going traumatise an animal I couldn't do it. I think most kids would understand that tbh.

I couldn't do it either. And it won't just be "an animal", it will be thousands of wild animals living in the gardens. Also an RSPCA survey showed that 62% of dog owners and 54% of cat owners say their pets are traumatised by fireworks. It won't just be that neighbour's dog that's terrified tonight. I don't know how anyone can knowingly do that.

@GuillermoVanHelsing

If I knew it was going traumatise an animal I couldn't do it. I think most kids would understand that tbh.

I agree. We were going to have some tonight but someone had some on Saturday night and our cat was absolutely terrified. As soon as we told DD that we couldn't because of him, she absolutely understood.

To all the people saying take the dog out, you do realise there will be other fireworks going off?

We had a dog who, despite trying everything, only coped on bonfire night (and all the other nights the selfish twats let of fireworks) when she went deaf.

It wouldn't actually be as bad if it was only 5th November but it isn't, we've had them around here for weeks.

@frazzledquaver

You would be very cruel to do this and I'd expect the person not to speak to you again. Sorry if your kids are looking forward to it, but it's well know that fireworks are problematic for some animals and also some people with PTSD, etc. Good lesson for your kids in empathy.

Eh? The world really has gone mad

It's bloody bonfire night, the worst night possible for people to be out walking a dog who is reactive to fireworks.

I'd go ahead, you've bought them, your children will want to see them and it's bonfire night, not a random one in the middle of March .

People with dogs who are reactive to them can do things to help them cope, I say this as a dog and horse owner. I don't expect all fireworks to be cancelled, I like to watch displays as much as the next person but if any neighbours are going to be doing them I ask they let me know so I can be prepared for the animals and they do.

Do you have any quieter ones that you could let off? Some are really noisy for the sake of it, but you might be able to tell which would be less scary.

Firstly on a new build estate the gardens will be so bloody small and the houses on top of each other I wouldn’t think it’s actually safe to do fireworks in the back garden.

Secondly I would never knowingly cause distress to an animal -might be a good opportunity for your kids to learn a life lesson

There’s so many fireworks just look at the others further away

I hate fireworks going off for weeks at a time over this time period, for the way it disturbs me, DC and the pets. However, I don't think my lack of enthusiasm should stop everyone from having them. I DO think they should be better controlled - eg, as far as I'm concerned it should only be allowed on actual bonfire night and maybe the weekend before/after and between certain hours. The endless fireworks going off for days at a time starting at 5pm and finishing after 10 is ridiculous.

So I personally think that the response to the neighbour is "I'm sorry they might disturb you and that's why I wanted to give you a head up so you can prepare as necessary. We will start at x time and be done by y time."

I remember I had an ex-Military PTSD patient who was in absolute terror at this time of the year. Organised displays happening on or as close to 5th November he could plan for but random fireworks from October to New Year (as is increasingly the case) he found very difficult. They’ve got so much louder too.

I think it’s the randomness of endless fireworks for weeks that gets to me. I have a terrified dog too, it’s so horrible to see her suffering and sedation doesn’t seem to do much and it’s not as simple to desensitise them as people seem to think. Often dogs get more anxious as they get older too. It’s livestock and wildlife as well - they can’t cope with it either. I have a friend whose horse had to be euthanised after some random display in a garden next to his field caused him to panic and try and jump the fence.

Having said that, I think it is decent of you OP to put out a warning and confine them to one night and I do wish others would do the same. If I had my way they would not be permitted for sale to the general public for random back garden displays at all.

@Rosehip10 as I've explained, it was many years ago. We now have guards and belts. It wasn't something the dog had ever done before.

Fucking fireworks. Light them for your precious kids if you must but for the sake of animals, people suffering with PTSD and Alzheimer’s please give the bangers a miss.

I would do them anyway. Lots of people will be anyway and the dog is still going to hear those! I understand it's hard work for the owners when the dogs are upset but it's not going to change as far as I can see!

I wish they'd just restrict firewords to good public displays. Terrible for the environment, terrify lots of animals (as said above, not just dogs), and let's face it, largely quite underwhelming unless they're done by professionals.

Let’s all stop living our lives because there is always someone that might be ‘traumatized’ if someone sneezes.

Go for it! Tell them to get fucked

The sooner the crap fireworks that people buy in the shops are banned the better, or at least they can start selling quiet ones. We’ve had them going off round here for weeks, sometimes at 2am. To the poster suggesting desensitising the dog and suggesting the owner isn’t a good owner for not doing it is an absolute clown. We have a rescue dog who one of these nights I fully expect to die of fright. We’ve tried everything and now have to drug our dog to get through the night, even after hearing just one bang.
The home displays are shit too, they should be restricted to professional displays.
Get your kids some sparklers if you have to do something.

@KittyLuna

Meh. When the pet owners around here start picking the shite up off the pavements and grassy areas, maybe then I’ll start giving them some consideration. Until then I’ll be suiting myself.

(I’m not setting off fireworks but it’s a point of principle).

But your "point of principle" punishes the innocent. It's not the dogs' fault if they have a lazy, disgusting owner who doesn't pick up the poo, yet it's the dogs that will suffer from people letting off fireworks.