Neighbour asked us not to do fireworks?

[lockdownqueen]

I'm in a group chat with girls on our new build estate I've sent out a pre warning as hubby has gone and bought some. Everyone was fine and said they will be in there gardens to watch then one of the girls asked us not too as her dog has severe panic attacks.

don't know what to do? Kids have been looking forward to them.

aibu to go ahead and do them?

Dog owner. Luckily my dog isn’t bothered by them. I don’t think your neighbour can expect people not to let them of though, and I do think it’s considerate you've given her the heads up. I think as pps have said give her a time and try and keep it as short as possible. A lot of neighbours wouldn’t be as considerate so I think you’ve actually been rather nice about it.

But I do think back garden displays are the height of selfish, especially in teeny little new build estates all smushed on top of each other, I’d worry about falling debris. There’s no escape even indoors for pets and humans that are scared of them (and lol at the “just train your dogs” crowd). I hate the thought of wildlife suffering too, we do enough to fuck them over I can’t imagine how scared some wildlife must be when they’re going off.

Could you compromise, set off the quiet ones and leave the louder ones out?

Fireworks should be banned for domestic use. You can prepare for arranged firework displays in advance, sedate your pets, keep them in, etc. But instead people just set them off willy nilly for about two months at this time of year. It's ridiculous. I can't walk my dogs around here from 4pm from early October to mid November, one of them is upstairs clawing to get under the eaves in my attic in distress as my neighbours are setting some off. It seems to be even worse this year.

Did you send out your warning (the pre is superfluous by the way) before or after your husband went and bought them?

Fireworks cause no end of problems for animals, not just pets but farm animals and also cause damage to people's gardens, we had a shed fire from a firework landing on it which cost us a lot of money.

You have been nice enough to give them all a heads up. She has time to sort her situation out either sitting with the dog etc or taking the dog out it’s her situation to deal with not yours.

I’m can guarantee you will not be the only one in your area setting off fireworks.

Leanne what a very silly thing to say. It doesn’t work like that. You clearly have no idea about the matter so please don’t lecture on the matter.

@ZoeTurtle

It's more important to teach your children empathy (and have some yourself) than to set off fireworks.

Can't wait for private firework sales to banned.

Agreed. They've been going off every night for the past two weeks round here. I don't think they should have been on sale at all.

@Bluntness100 has a great idea. Tell her the time scale to comfort the dog / take out.

YABU to do home fireworks.

Completely unnecessary, antisocial and twattish behaviour IMO.

@ImFree2doasiwant it was a few years ago, before restraining dogs in cars was routine. He'd never attempted to get out of the boot before, and scrambled over a back seat full of children, so I was somewhat taken aback by a lurcher landing in my lap. Luckily I was at traffic lights. It could have been worse.

@picklemewalnuts why don't you have an appropriate dog guard in your car? Anything could startle a dog travelling by car at any time, noise, wasp etc. Or are you happy to have a serious accident if this happens?

You've warned her - just go ahead. I would appreciate it as my cats are petrified by them.

@lockdownqueen

We have only bought a few anyway, I have told her the time we're doing it and that it won't be for long. I can't do anything else

Well you could something else but you won't

@freddosfrogs

Did you send out your warning (the pre is superfluous by the way) before or after your husband went and bought them?

Fireworks cause no end of problems for animals, not just pets but farm animals and also cause damage to people's gardens, we had a shed fire from a firework landing on it which cost us a lot of money.

Good point. OP's message sounds like she asked tonight which would not give her neighbour a chance to go to the vet.

If she asked a week ago and the neighbour only just replied it's still not ideal but far less inconsiderate.

Yes they can get a tablet from pets at home which keeps them calm the work amazing.

I clean shit off the kids shoes, bike tyres and our front garden. I’ve been kept awake for nights on end by barking. My children have been frightened, I’ve been bitten twice as have various friends and family. I smile politely when I’m jumped on and licked. And I’m not asking anyone not to have dogs. So maybe a couple of nights a year there could be a brief noise?

Every single fun thing has been taken away from kids this year. Trick or treat. Their nativity plays. Their pantomimes. In many instances, time spent with grandparents at Christmas.

The one fun thing they can do, as an out-of-door activity, and people are claiming they should forfeit that, too?

Wholly unreasonable. On Guy Fawkes night and New Year's Eve, people will be letting off fireworks. It's a known practice. It's not as if there hasn't been enough notice.

The onus is on the owners of animals to take responsibility for their charges, not the rest of society. And yes, I do love and have owned animals: cats, horses and dogs, none of which are keen on firework noise. But their mental wellbeing shouldn't come at the expense of that of children.

I have a dog who is afraid of fireworks, he trembles, vomits and hyperventilates. In no way does that give me the right to stop other people from letting them off. He is my responsibility and I have a whole year to prepare each year. So we have white noise, lots of places to hide and don't make a huge fuss and go about our evening as normal. It has reduced his reaction a lot.
It is irresponsible to do nothing on the lead up to bonfire night and then complain when your dog is terrified. They need to take some responsibility.

Then as a good dog owner it is on her to train her dog and desensitize it to the sounD

Great! You’ve found the cure, just densitize animal! Well done! Why do owners just not think of that

My dog is very afraid.

He’s currently in teen Ds room (a massive treat!), curtains closed, new chew bone, getting heaps of fuss and attention. We do this every year and it keeps him happy and calm .He had a long walk earlier so won’t need one this eve, took him out for a wee ten mins ago as knew it would start early and will wait up until they have finished to take him out to the garden again.

I would never expect others to pander to his fears.

I’m anti fireworks but appreciate a heads up. I’d just wish they were just restricted to one evening on the 5th we’ve had them here since last weekend for Halloween, and very night. Wish the public couldn’t buy them and have organised fireworks only but this year is different so I expect lots more people will do home fireworks this year.

Tell her when you will be starting so she can have her dog inside and put the volume up on the tv

I would do them fire works are hoi g of everywear so the dog is going to hear them regardless of if u do them or not.

We have only bought a few anyway, I have told her the time we're doing it and that it won't be for long. I can't do anything else

You can, you just don’t want too.
Just hope you don’t need anything from her in the future, as I don’t think she’ll be jumping at the chance too help

Mmh to people saying OP is selfish: isn’t it also selfish to expect people to not have fun because of the selfish choice you made to have an animal live with you? They don’t get anything from him, only you does - and possible they are already inconvenienced by barks/poo.

FWIW I don’t have a dog and I don’t do fireworks either so I would say I am pretty much impartial.