Neighbour asked us not to do fireworks?

[lockdownqueen]

I'm in a group chat with girls on our new build estate I've sent out a pre warning as hubby has gone and bought some. Everyone was fine and said they will be in there gardens to watch then one of the girls asked us not too as her dog has severe panic attacks.

don't know what to do? Kids have been looking forward to them.

aibu to go ahead and do them?

@frazzledquaver

You would be very cruel to do this and I'd expect the person not to speak to you again. Sorry if your kids are looking forward to it, but it's well know that fireworks are problematic for some animals and also some people with PTSD, etc. Good lesson for your kids in empathy.

I have PTSD. My disease should not stop others from enjoying their lives and enjoying everyday things including Fireworks

Don't do it, the impact on animals is horrendous and what do you expect your neighbour to do with their dog.

I have a chihuahua myself but he doesn't seem fussed by them at all

I have dogs. Some are bothered, some are fine. My dogs, my house, I help them cope. I've successfully taught one to get over his anxiety by closing the windows and putting on white noise, but the pops and cracks could still be heard just enough, and we intentionally watched the fireworks with him whilst giving treats and pets. He's now fine, just a little curious. Your neighbour can work on this with her pooch.

@Shitonthebloodything

I never understand this. If people know their pets are going to be frightened at this time of year, every year then isn't there something they can do about it? Maybe I'm just being heartless because I'm not a dog person and my cats have never been bothered by them but surely it's to be expected each year.

My dog used to have horrendous panic attacks, I had to dose him up with diazepam, fine for one night, but not so good for 2 weeks.

In the end he had a heart attack and died

Fireworks are selfish

Think of those with PTSD

I think if they've specifically asked you not to, because it will cause severe emotional distress to their dog, then yes just ignoring them and going ahead is a dick move.

I wouldn't cancel outright though. If i were you, I'd ask your neighbour if it's possible for her to take the dog out for half an hour so you can light the fireworks. Explain to her that it's a big deal for your kids, and that while you of course don't want to distress the dog, you can't let your kids down.

Give her a solution. Don't just ignore. If she doesn't take the solution, that's her choice.

Don’t do it, our dog has to go on sedatives for 2 weeks around this time of year, she hides on the stair case as soon as it gets dark and cries all night, she pants and drools and paces and shakes, it’s horrible to watch, you’re on an estate, it’s quite antisocial

ask your kids what they would rather??

And I agree with the posters saying not to give in to anxiety. Being kind, letting them know it's going to happen, is compassionate.

I think it's massively unreasonable for anyone to let of fireworks, but at least it's actually bonfire night I suppose, so people should expect it.

Can you tell her what time you are doing them and for how long and suggest she takes her dog for a drive then.

I'd tell her you promised your children so you are going ahead with the fireworks.
And suggest she go to the vet and ask for valium for the dog. The vet prescribes it to my friends dog every Halloween.

I’m pretty anti garden fireworks, but I don’t think you
Would be unreasonable to do them. I’d apologise saying that you are sorry, but maybe if she had warned everyone earlier. But the fireworks are already bought and the children are already excited, and there isn’t much other excitement for
Them to look forward to. Besides, it is fireworks night, there are going to be fireworks, so you may as well join in the fun.

Fireworks should not be sold to the public, too many stupid people get hold of them, many many many reports of them being thrown in parks, at cars - they've been going off here for weeks.

You should need a licence to buy fireworks and for organised displays only, whoever thought it was a good idea to let randoms buy explosives?!

What Bluntness said. You've given fair warning, they should be prepped for this anyway if they have a sensitive dog. There are ways of easing their anxiety. They could put him in the car and go out, medication, wraps etc.

I say this as a pet owner, I also have horses, it can be very stressful. I'd be really grateful for a warning like this.

saying that my lab puppy was sat outside watching a display last night and would not come back in!

dogs are so individual but i couldn't happily set fireworks off knowing that an animal would be distressed

Obviously, no one can stop you. But stop pretending to care about people's petsif you shoot off noisy private fireworks in neighbourhoods.

they should be banned

Thing is being out in the car with fireworks is Terrifying too.

My dog leapt from the boot of the car across the seats and on to my lap while I was driving.

Many of the fireworks sold in supermarkets are not suitable for the majority of houses. I bought a few, read the small print at home and discovered that you needed to be 25m away from any structure. I only knew one person with a suitable garden, bordered by fields. Ridiculous to sell them in city supermarkets.

I can't wait for fireworks to be banned and only the silent ones they have in Japan to be allowed

I can't do anything else

Of course you can. You're choosing to set off explosives in a residential area. Nobody is forcing you.

Selfish.

Go ahead and tell her the time you’re doing it so she can make a plan to help her dog.

I honestly think these should be banned from domestic sale.,dangerous and terrify many animals.

Op have you told your children how much this will,distress this dog and many other dogs? Most children would not wish to go ahead knowing this

As said, I’d ask her to take the dog a walk but this won’t be the only dog. You also need to be aware that the other women in the what’s app group may not react well if you just go ahead.

It’s Bonfire night. People will let off fireworks. It’s not like having a party and warning people in advance. I don’t particularly like fireworks and the kids are grown now but we used to go to public displays or friends’ gardens and watch. I know you can’t do this now. I’m sorry about the animals and I’d be happy for fireworks to be banned, but they’re not this year.

If it’s only a few fireworks for a short time, and the kids are excited, you shouldn’t feel guilty.

The amount of crap we have to tolerate especially in the summer..no one would think of saying anything. So glad we don’t have a neighbours WhatsApp group

Very very selfish

I hate garden fireworks. Dangerous and anti-social especially at the moment with the entire country trying to reduce the burden on the NHS. They should be banned and only allowed at organised displays or only allowed on certain days/times rather than weeks either side of Bonfire Night.

However, people will do as they please regardless of the effect on others. Its been exhausted on another thread and basically comes down to 'shiny thing go bang....fuck the neighbours'.

You have been good enough to give a time when you'll do it so stick to it. Maybe think about not doing next year.