To not tell dh about my support bubble?

[Maisiemiddleton86]

Dh says no and that I can’t have one with my single parent best friend. We aren’t bubbling as a household with anyone else and nor is she so it’s ok as per the rules but he says no.
I am not happy in my marriage and want to leave but the pandemic is making everything more difficult. Mainly I’m planning to meet my friend outside anyway for walks but if it’s freezing or I need the loo or something to eat I may go into her house.
Aibu to just not tell him? I’m feeling really alone right now, last time was absolutely dreadful.

@Maisiemiddleton86
It maybe worth watching this:
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p08v5pwj/is-this-coercive-control

Under usual circumstances I would say you would be wrong to not tell him, but given his controlling nature I think it is the only way to maintain your support system (and sanity).

I think you are doing amazingly well trying to get your ducks in a row and leave and I would continue to focus on that. Look after yourself.

*Just confirm all these supportive posters
**Would They be happy if a DH was having a secret relationship which would open up his dw and dc to a virus that has shut down nearly the whole global.
*I am sure his dw would be call controlling and should be ignored. OP if you have a problem in your dh yoj need to tell him ( or not) and make arrangements to leave him. If it’s true you , yoj could move in with your friend , problem solved.Alternatively if you are just using it as an excuse to do what you want, them remember the serious of the situation and the risks your family may be exposed to

Seriously?
Have you read the thread?

@Quaagars and other To all the posters - I see no one has actually answered my questions but I will answer yours.
Yes I have read the thread, but I always find the first post it the truest. The rest can be used to get the reaction wanted.
That said if the OP is correct in what she says- she should be looking to leave. Not to have some secret relationship outside, Surely this will cause more problems if it comes out and if they do get sick she will be blamed.
If her friendship is that important, than I don't see why she cant move in with her, but if not anyway.
I don't understand those who are saying yes he is a but stay there and do things that will anger him more and risk all your health's.
If he is a then OP should be get out!!

[quote Cheeseandwin5]@Quaagars and other To all the posters - I see no one has actually answered my questions but I will answer yours.
Yes I have read the thread, but I always find the first post it the truest. The rest can be used to get the reaction wanted.
That said if the OP is correct in what she says- she should be looking to leave. Not to have some secret relationship outside, Surely this will cause more problems if it comes out and if they do get sick she will be blamed.
If her friendship is that important, than I don't see why she cant move in with her, but if not anyway.
I don't understand those who are saying yes he is a but stay there and do things that will anger him more and risk all your health's.
If he is a then OP should be get out!![/quote]
I haven't answered your questions because they're irrelevant and derailing

If you have read the thread then you're clearly struggling with comprehension. The OP is planning to leave but that's not what this thread is about right now.

You seem to have your own agenda. This thread is not about you or your demands that we answer your questions. It's the OP's thread and it's about offering support to a victim of abuse. Not criticising someone who is vulnerable because you've unilaterally decided to ignore all but the OP.
If you aren't willing to do that I suggest you move on

@Cheeseandwin5 the op is making plans to leave with her DC and needs the support of her therapist to do so.

Ideally her H won't find out about the support bubble anyway as they will make the most of meeting outside.

The OP is checking that her H attitude/dictatorship is invalid and that her needs ate more important at this time than "doing as she is told".

Only the op can make the decision and weigh up the risks.