To not tell dh about my support bubble?

[Maisiemiddleton86]

Dh says no and that I can’t have one with my single parent best friend. We aren’t bubbling as a household with anyone else and nor is she so it’s ok as per the rules but he says no.
I am not happy in my marriage and want to leave but the pandemic is making everything more difficult. Mainly I’m planning to meet my friend outside anyway for walks but if it’s freezing or I need the loo or something to eat I may go into her house.
Aibu to just not tell him? I’m feeling really alone right now, last time was absolutely dreadful.

See your friend. It sounds like it is essential to your mental health.

@Maisiemiddleton86

I'm sorry you've received some frankly dangerous advice on this thread but glad to see lots of sensible support too.

Please do make your plans. It's clear the combination of your controlling DH and lockdown are a risk to your mental health.

Good luck with getting out. Please contact womens aid. Remember your husband could become dangerous if he thinks you may leave

Domestic abuse is an exemption to the rules. You don't have to tell your abuser anything.

I don't blame you OP and even the government have recognised the increase in abusive relationships over the lockdown. After this is over you must get out of this damaging relationship but it's understandable that it may take some time to sort out.

He will be very angry at the point of me leaving, I need to tell him and go, so everything has to be ready and in place beforehand.

Maisiemiddleton86

No, you go and then tell him.

@Maisiemiddleton86 you do matter in the grand scheme of things. You matter hugely.

Some other brilliant posters have sent links to Women’s Aid and other support for you.

When you leave, leave and then tell him as others have said. Is there any other help and support we can give to help?

And you matter. I promise

@Maisiemiddleton86, you DO matter! Of course you matter, very much.

And yes, leave first, then tell him.

@Maisiemiddleton86

I have started to make provisional plans - it’s such a big scary step and covid has made it harder. I feel a lot of guilt around it which is what I’m working through with a therapist and I feel I really need that support right now. I know I don’t matter in the grand scheme of things but I do think I will go under if I’m totally isolated again.

You matter, Maisie.

He sounds very controlling, and is using the lockdown as an aid to his control. Meet your friend, and don’t tell him if you’re worried to.

Haven't read the full post but I will advise you can see her alone and if her kids are under 5 them too outdoors for a walk or at the park but have to keep 2 metres apart or 1 metre with face cover .. you CANNOT go into her property or her come to yours for any reason .. and regarding support bubbles you can form it with 1 other household rather than family if you wish. Hope this helps but its in more depth on the gov website .. but also do mention it to your therapist as sometimes they do make acceptions depending on personal circumstances .. hope all works out for you x

Also if your friend tested positive you would have to isolate but your husband would only start isolation from the point you start having symptoms.

Mama why am I unable to form a support bubble with her if she’s a single adult family?

You can form it with her if you get rid of the husband. Its only single parent households. But as I said, if you speak to your therapist allowances may be made due to the mental health situation your husband is causing and its a lot more difficult to separate when married than not and they do understand.

@Mama2017

You can form it with her if you get rid of the husband. Its only single parent households. But as I said, if you speak to your therapist allowances may be made due to the mental health situation your husband is causing and its a lot more difficult to separate when married than not and they do understand.

No this is bullocks. It's a single person household with another household.

Can people please engage some fact checking and critical thinking skills before giving inaccurate information to someone who very much needs support

@Mama2017
Friend is a single parent.

Yep sorry veterinari is right just re read abit more clearly .. sorry got 2 toddlers running about .. but honestly it is possible and he doesn't technically need to know .. but it sounds like you do need a plan of escape

No need veterinari .. not like I was trying not to help! All of us have our own situations we are dealing with!

@Mama2017

No need veterinari .. not like I was trying not to help! All of us have our own situations we are dealing with!

Probably best to read the actual thread, or at least the OP before giving misinformation that might lead someone to stay in an abusive situation when they don't need to.

Be annoyed at me for pointing out you're wrong if it makes you feel better.

If she's a single person living by herself, and you and your family aren't bubbling with anyone else, and neither is she, you'd be doing nothing wrong - perfectly OK to have one and he's being unreasonable.

Sorry, forgot to add, if that's the case then I can see why you don't want to tell him if he's being an arse about it
Mental health is important too

@Mama2017, I've reported your post. Stop misinforming the OP.