MIL buying Xmas day outfits for kids

[Islagray11]

Am I being unreasonable in that it annoys me when MIL buys my kids their Xmas day outfits?

For the past couple of years she bought special Xmas day outfits for my son to wear. I just put on what I want him to wear anyway. Then last year I saw her while out shopping. She told me she had seen a really nice outfit for my Son for Xmas that she wanted to buy on behalf of her Mum. I said yes, lovely (thinking she just meant generally as a Xmas gift). She then said "he can wear that on Xmas day then".

She always buys all the "firsts", like first advent calendar, Xmas eve box, outfits. She wanted to buy first shoes. She bought first school shoes.

Am I just being ungrateful, or is she crossing a line?

If you don't do Christmas day clothes, what do your kids wear to Christmas Parties etc?

Whatever clothes they wear to any other sort of party. Or (at the ages of OP's DC) dressing up clothes.

I could really relate to PP:
I wish I could have asked Mil for things like this, sometimes dh and in were so short, brought coats and then she would buy a coat, or doubled up on underwear and dressing gown and yet we struggled for shoes.
We could afford things but had to really tightly budget. And Mil randomly buying this stuff was such a total waste of her money and time.. Once or twice dh tried to diplomatically say. .. Would it be possible to help out with x.but then it would be turned into a sort of stick to beat him with.... In the end I stopped feeling guilty and sold useless doubles or extras we didn't need to buy what we did ... Or gave it away if wouldn't get much £."
Space is so expensive if the UK and you have the double problem of duplicates taking up space and time to sort out and when so short of money ( as we have been) people spending lots on unnecessary things really can feel like a kick in the teeth .

Well, with the exception of a babygro with the slogan "My first Christmas" or similar, of course "Christmas Day Clothes" are worn on other days.

I guess it depends on the situation you are spending Christmas day in. Some might wear their party outfit, others their Christmas jumper which would either have been worn for other occasions or will get worn after or passed on if grown out of or some just something tidy or even just PJs if christmassing at home.

Sometimes your Christmas day clothes are something you've received new that day.

Other than they year we went out, we don't tend to bother as it is usually just us 4 at home. We tend to go to the pub now so need to be dressed appropriately for a quiet drink in the local, usually just something we already have.

If you don't do Christmas day clothes, what do your kids wear to Christmas Parties etc?

Aside from wear your Christmas jumper or some reindeer beedly boppers lto school, which Primark cater too admirably, mine do not have any occasion to wear Christmas clothes.

How about flipping it on its head... every time she buys something you would have bought, take the money yiu would have spent and pop it in DCs’ saving accounts.
Then you’ll have a nice lump sum to give them on their 18th birthdays.
They’ll appreciate that so much more than who bought them an advent calendar or pair of shoes.

@WokesFromHome

If you don't do Christmas day clothes, what do your kids wear to Christmas Parties etc?

Aside from wear your Christmas jumper or some reindeer beedly boppers lto school, which Primark cater too admirably, mine do not have any occasion to wear Christmas clothes.

Christmas clothes aren't necessarily Christmas themed, just smarter than your average everyday clothes, as I said originally clothes that would become 'Sunday Best'

I don't really get the concept of "smart clothes" on pre-school and primary school kids

Mine have school uniforms, sport clothes and ... clothes. They wear jeans and chinos, jumpers in the winter. I usually don't even have to buy anything special for weddings and the like, there's always at least 1 pair of decent trousers and a shirt in their wardrobe. What would they need smart clothes for? They are hardly going to have a job interview

Christmas Day they are still in pjs when they go downstairs and open presents, then mid morning when they are dressed, they are sent to play outside as they have far too much energy.
We take them out in the afternoon too. They need clothes, and will probably change a couple of times if it's muddy outside which it always tend to be!

As said above, it depends on your Christmas, if you are taking them to a hotel or to family then you'd be unlikely to dress them in their PJs or play clothes, so Christmas outfit is anything suitable for a child to wear to that venue/occasion.

My Dc wouldn't randomly have smart trousers and a shirt magically in their wardrobe as we don't routinely go places where that would be required. So a shirt would likely be bought in December for whatever occasions required, such as Christmas parties etc. They may also wear that on Christmas day if required or a Christmas jumper or whatever. Adult DS lives in shorts and t-shirts, if we are going for a meal then he changes into smart jeans and a shirt and would do the same if we were going somewhere for Christmas, otherwise he's wear what he normally does.

I get that some people's Christmases don't require any "Christmas clothes" but others have different Christmases or different expectations of suitable attire for whatever occasion.

I'm not sure why people can't grasp the concept

Well said Waxon

you have to admit it's odd and sounds incredibly wasteful to buy outfits for 1 day, or for events - unless you are a bride

I guess I just find it easier to have a mix of smarter clothes and jeans tshirts as a base in each kid's wardrobe. They are just clothes.

I do hate the concept of "clothes for best" which might have something to do with it.

Also, Christmas tends to be an occasion where more photos are taken, some people like themselves and Dc to be looking their best.

I probably wouldn't bother as we don't go out and actually don't take many photos other than present time when mostly in PJs, but I understand that some might, or might have DC that like to get dressed up.

Honestly this wouldn’t bother me at all, I couldn’t give a crap about Christmas Day outfits, if they wanted to wear what granny brought or what I brought, it really doesn’t matter. I am very easy going though.

This.

She's not forcing them to wear it on Xmas day.

Also I know everyone's circumstances are different but no one has bought my DC any clothes for several years except for me - they just don't care, frankly.

Plus one of my DCs has sensory issues (which no one else in the family cares about) and I don't get to choose his clothes, finding ANYTHING he'll wear is a battle. If he was bought an outfit I almost certainly wouldn't be able to put it on him and attempting to would result in a meltdown.

Just be fucking thankful

*Wow vinyl!.. I'd happily buy coats and shoe's for gc what's wrong with you?

I'd be thrilled infact to be able to buy necessary staples! It's great they felt comfortable to ask you. Unless they are rolling in lolly... What on earth is the problem confused*

There’s nothing wrong with me. And they are rolling in it, their household income is multiples of ours. The problem is that a birthday present is for the child, to give them pleasure, not to save their well off parents money. If they were short of money, of course we’d buy the coat and shoes and a birthday present.

@VinylDetective

*Wow vinyl!.. I'd happily buy coats and shoe's for gc what's wrong with you?

I'd be thrilled infact to be able to buy necessary staples! It's great they felt comfortable to ask you. Unless they are rolling in lolly... What on earth is the problem confused*

There’s nothing wrong with me. And they are rolling in it, their household income is multiples of ours. The problem is that a birthday present is for the child, to give them pleasure, not to save their well off parents money. If they were short of money, of course we’d buy the coat and shoes and a birthday present.

My Dc get pleasure out of coats, I was trying on winter coats on my two younger DC and had to bribe them to let me take them off and hang them, they like them so much as they're really beautiful coats.

And my older Dc love their coats too, my middle DC couldn't wait for the weather to turn cold so she could wear her coat. Thinking about it I did get her it for her birthday.

People don't usually buy me or my Dc books as I will pretty much guaranteed have the book already. My IL's got us nursery furniture as gifts on younger DD's birthday and were disappointed when we'd already got a big girl bed for DD as they wanted to give it to her as a gift. They ask us and simply buy what we want.

Do you have a close relationship with your DC Vinyl?

Do you have a close relationship with your DC Vinyl?

Yes thank you.

@Leaannb

I just told them that counts as your 1 present to give. Are you sure you want it to be clothes?

You tell them how many presents to buy?

@Lowkeevslucille

you have to admit it's odd and sounds incredibly wasteful to buy outfits for 1 day, or for events - unless you are a bride

I guess I just find it easier to have a mix of smarter clothes and jeans tshirts as a base in each kid's wardrobe. They are just clothes.

I do hate the concept of "clothes for best" which might have something to do with it.

DS X 3 have special shorts for Xmas Day but they'll wear them again. Babies grow out it really quick anyway and DS can wear it past Xmas, then we'll sell them hopefully

VinylDetective We would have done until we asked what to buy our grandson for his birthday. The response was he needed a coat and shoes. At which we pointed out it’s his parents’ job to buy those things and his birthday present is for him, not them. He’s getting books.
The context matters here tho. Rich parents asking for costs and shoes screams either right or stopping Granny buying toys they'd disapprove of

I can see that @SleepingStandingUp, which is why we asked what they’d like. They can perfectly well afford to clothe their children and, as I said, if they couldn’t we’d buy the coat and shoes and a birthday present. A two year old is very unlikely to get excited about a new coat and I wouldn’t buy shoes without his feet being measured.

@VinylDetective yeah sorry that was meant in support of you, the fact they asked when they're well off suggests it's more about control on their parts
I bet if you'd said yes they'd have had ones picked out for you.

DMil has offered to get the babies Clarke's shoes for Xmas but she asks first and actually is getting them matching coats but they're £10 from the supermarket coats so will be as well as something fun. I very much appreciate her

I bet they would too!

Take everything she offers with a smile, when children older she has no chance dressing them Haha

Slightly irritating perhaps but maybe if you suck it up & may be she'll still want to by the first secondary school uniform. Those things cost a blooming fortune!

I think I might need to revisit these threads in a few years. I'll need to remind myself not to be one of 'those' MIL as I can see as a Mum of boys how easy it could be to overstep when actually I'll just be an excited, doting grandma

@Islagray11

Thanks all!

You're right in that it doesn't really matter, does it! I know it comes from a good place, it just feels like she's had her time to do that with her own kids.

@slipperywhensparticus no, we don't live together. She doesn't dress my children. She just buys them special Xmas outfits that she wants them to wear on Xmas. I don't put the kids in them until Boxing Day as o have already chosen outfits for them.

With my children i always had to budget for their clothes and shoes as money was very tight. As a grandma I have much more disposable income so enjoy spending it on my grandchildren to help their parents out.