To think this isn't stingy?

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

Dp has just got home from work and complained at the "stingy" portions left for him. This consists of 5 (good quality) sausages, carrots, peas, broccoli and a large bowl of mash (3 generous portions). Aibu to think this is not stingy at all?

Fwiw he has already eaten breakfast, a pack up and a bacon and egg sandwich from a food van ( I only know this as h3 messaged me). And I know someone is going to ask if I underfeed him (it isn't my job to feed him) but he is 5ft 9 and at least 20 stone.

TwentyViginti I agree. It's very rare I buy a packet of biscuits for example as we're on a budget and they're at least a pound compared to normal biscuits at say 30 or 40 pence a packet so I feel guilty for buying them. Even a loaf of gluten free bread is a treat for me due to cost.

TwentyViginti I agree. It's very rare I buy a packet of biscuits for example as we're on a budget and they're at least a pound compared to normal biscuits at say 30 or 40 pence a packet so I feel guilty for buying them. Even a loaf of gluten free bread is a treat for me due to cost.

TwentyViginti I agree. It's very rare I buy a packet of biscuits for example as we're on a budget and they're at least a pound compared to normal biscuits at say 30 or 40 pence a packet so I feel guilty for buying them. Even a loaf of gluten free bread is a treat for me due to cost.

He needs to eat a lot less; he's already seriously obese. A few more years of eating like that and he'll be bedbound in blubber.

Its not his size as such that is the issue here that's separate, its his disrespect of you and the food.
He could still be that size but not be rude to you, or take your treats.

Of course it isn't a fat bashing thread @WhereverIGoddamnLike

He is 20 stone at 5' 9" which puts him in the obese category. That is not fat bashing, but a statement of fact.

His size is not the issue here or the fact that he's fat. So am I. I can also eat huge amounts of food.
However,I mostly cook my own food. If OH cooks for me and I'd like more and there isn't any, I thank him and tell him it was so lovely I wish there was more. I don't touch his food things or DD's. Definitely not without asking.

His size isn't the issue,or appetite, or even how much he CAN eat. The issue is the lack of respect,selfishness and putting himself and his wants above everyone else and your needs.

So you darent spend a quid on a packet of biscuits for yourself but he's eating enough for a family of three?! Start plating him normal portions up. Just say you cant afford for him to eat as much as everybody else put together and he needs to start eating healthily if he wants to see his kids grow up.
Five sausages for one person is rank. DH is a strapping man and works in very manual labour, he gets three, mixed root veg mash and a tonne of veg.
I'd be getting a lock box or something for food, maybe it'll shock him into action seeing his own wife having to lock her food away so he doesn't eat it all.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

TwentyViginti I agree. It's very rare I buy a packet of biscuits for example as we're on a budget and they're at least a pound compared to normal biscuits at say 30 or 40 pence a packet so I feel guilty for buying them. Even a loaf of gluten free bread is a treat for me due to cost.

You wouldn't believe the difference him not eating like 2 people will make to your budget.

So you darent spend a quid on a packet of biscuits for yourself but he's eating enough for a family of three?! Start plating him normal portions up. Just say you cant afford for him to eat as much as everybody else put together and he needs to start eating healthily if he wants to see his kids grow up.
Five sausages for one person is rank. DH is a strapping man and works in very manual labour, he gets three, mixed root veg mash and a tonne of veg.
I'd be getting a lock box or something for food, maybe it'll shock him into action seeing his own wife having to lock her food away so he doesn't eat it all.

So you darent spend a quid on a packet of biscuits for yourself but he's eating enough for a family of three?! Start plating him normal portions up. Just say you cant afford for him to eat as much as everybody else put together and he needs to start eating healthily if he wants to see his kids grow up.
Five sausages for one person is rank. DH is a strapping man and works in very manual labour, he gets three, mixed root veg mash and a tonne of veg.
I'd be getting a lock box or something for food, maybe it'll shock him into action seeing his own wife having to lock her food away so he doesn't eat it all.

Its not his size as such that is the issue here that's separate, its his disrespect of you and the food.
He could still be that size but not be rude to you, or take your treats.

His attitude and selfishness is horrid.

You literally can't afford his gluttony. How much did he spend on the extra sandwich? How many packets of your gluten free biscuits would that have bought?

Nottherealslimshady;That's the long and the short of it! If I don't budget he will spend all his money on food just for him and the family will be left short.

RandomMess his single sandwich would have bought 2.5 loaves of gluten free bread.

Nottherealslimshady;That's the long and the short of it! If I don't budget he will spend all his money on food just for him and the family will be left short.

Would you actually be better off financially without him?

It sounds like he is literally eating you out of house and home

Jesus OP, what a greedy pig.

How can you bear to be with such selfish gluttony.

You poor woman.
He sounds odious.

RandomMess I'd be in exactly the same position financially without him except less secure as I'd have benefits.

billy1966 He is greedy but he was brought up like that. He was obese as a child. Mil looks after SS and has a lunchbox sized box of crisps, sweets and chocolates for him at all times.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

RandomMess I'd be in exactly the same position financially without him except less secure as I'd have benefits.

More secure, because there wouldn't be anybody eating all the food and abusing you.

MitziK I've had benefit top ups before as my eldest was conceived by rape. It would be extremely difficult to go through that again.

You wouldn’t just have to rely on benefits though. He’d have to pay maintenance.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

MitziK I've had benefit top ups before as my eldest was conceived by rape. It would be extremely difficult to go through that again.

That's terrible and I am sorry.

However, you are being abused now on a daily basis - financially, emotionally and physically in that he deliberately deprives you of food.

Once through the initial claiming process (and from my experience two years ago and about 8 years ago, they were much nicer most recently), you would have food in the fridge and cupboards that you were allowed to eat and you'd be able to guarantee that your children had food at all times, plus you wouldn't be spending the equivalent of three people's meals just to keep one person from screaming at you every day.

You don't deserve to be treated so badly by him. The attitude of officials is at worst, uncaring and impersonal. The attitude of that specimen in your home is abusive and directed at you and your children; his is deliberate and targeted at you.

I believe that, difficult though it may be, to go through the claiming process is better than having that life for even one more day.

He's selfish and greedy. The fat thing? Meh. Unless he was really big when you met or have some mitigating reason not yet disclosed, I don't think you have to be fine with a partner having a BMI of 40 - that's quite different to bit flabby / has a tummy / not in shape. There are those who will say you should be fine with it though.

Leaving that aside, the selfishness is staggering. For those of us who can eat gluten, gluten substitutes generally wouldn't be first choice, so the fact he's taking those would suggest he's either spectacularly selfish or has a serious problem with food. Of course it could be both.