I probably am...about sitting on my own some evenings

[FortunesFave]

I like my own company a lot. So on some evenings, I choose to sit out in our sunroom (we're in Oz and it's a bit like a lean-to with windows) and just browse the internet.

I do this about 2-3 times per week.

Every time I do it, DH or the kids seem to take it in turns to come in and bother me about every 20 minutes.

one leaves and then the next one arrives. Kids are 16 and 12 so well old enough to understand people sometimes need solitude.

I DO spend one to one time with all of them...DH and I often sit in the garden together, have meals together, chat...the DD's also get time with me...I walk my younger part way to school every morning (her choice...yes, she's older than usual for that but we get a takeaway hot chocolate and I like the walk) We also spent quality time watching movies or just having a snack or shopping together...that goes for my older child.

WHY can't they fucking leave me alone on these nights then? I put up with it and then when I tell DH "I'd like to be on my own" he gets pissed off...without fail. He doesn't have a go but gets huffy.

The same with the kids. AIBU to want to spend some nights alone? YABU if I am and YANBU if I'm not.

I remember how shocked and concerned about the state of my relationship one of my friends was , when she found out I don't spend my evenings with OH and I have downtime instead. She couldn't imagine not wanting to spend her evenings with her DH.

Her evenings with DH consist of her on her WhatsApp with me(so i get live updates) watching telly and her husband at the computer playing games. She moans at him for swearing/talking too loudly and disturbing her show, he moans at her the telly is too loud.

Yeah, that really doesn't float my boat.

I sympathise- you just need breathing space. I'm a single parent and sometimes just need time alone. I occasionally take a day off work on annual leave and tell no one(besides work obviously). I call it my 'me day'..... I go shopping, have a coffee....it's awesome! I'm not anti social, I have lots of friends, I enjoy company, I just sometimes want to be alone. I've made the mistake of telling people about my day off in the past and it gets kindly sabotaged- someone always is around, off work and wants to join me... Why don't you plan some secret 'me days'?!

I get you OP.
Have you seen this? www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/the-quiet-power-of-introverts/p080fdnp?playlist=how-it-feels-to-be-human

It is nice they want to spend time with you. You have to explain to them that you need time for yourself.

It's all about selfishness really, isn't it? You tell them you need your space..... 5 mins later "Well, of course she didn't mean me..."

What would the reaction be if you tell them: "Right, I am taking half an hour off from you lot and anything famility related. 30 mins during which I do not want to hear a bloody peep from any of you. I thank you! "

It would be far easier if DH was supportive, rather than acting like a needy child himself.

Bloody hell! I wish you every luck, OP

Every single time I get in the bath, everyone in the house needs the toilet. I wouldn't mind this as much apart from the fact.... we have two toilets!!! Why do they need to invade my nice bath time when they can go downstairs? Because its cold down there!!

Tell them to text you if they need you instead of barging in?

Your husband sounds a bit lonely