To have expected her to offer cake?

[tweedie543]

Met a friend for coffee this morning. As we were waiting to order, I got my purse out to pay for both coffees (we usually take it in turns to buy 'rounds') and friend said something along the lines of 'it's ok, I'll get it, I want a slice of cake.' Friend then orders coffee for both of us and cake for herself but didn't ask me if I wanted one. If the roles had been reversed, I'd have asked if she wanted a slice as well. In fact the roles have been reversed, and I've offered to buy her chips in a pub, or ice cream in a shop, if I've been getting something myself.

The reason I'm asking is that I often think friend is being a bit self-centred, but I'm wondering if we just have two different approaches to life.

YANBU: friend should have asked if you wanted cake as well
YABU: if you wanted cake, you should have spoken up, asked for it and offered to pay for it.

I think it was impolite of her not to offer you a slice of cake as well. I mean how much does a slice of cake cost. I think it was inconsiderate of her.

"I hope you then purchased some for yourself and it embarrassed her. Greedy cow. X"

Why would anyone be embarrassed by someone buying cake to go with the coffee you had just bought for them, even though it was their turn to pay?

This thread is mad

Someone has even said the op is generous, by allowing her friend to pay when it was the ops turn, because she didn’t want to buy her cake but was pissed her friend didn’t buy her some.

How can you be generous when you don’t pay when it’s your turn.?😂

I hope you then purchased some for yourself and it embarrassed her. Greedy cow

You have to wonder what is wrong with someone who would write this. A lot, I'm guessing.

I always just buy my own stuff to avoid dramas like this, otherwise it just eats you up. I have a friend who drinks large glass of wine when we go out, and as I’m the one who drives us to the pub, I just have a tonic. We used to buy in rounds, but I used to get resentful about the disparity in the cost of drinks. One day I just said let’s buy our own, and that’s what I do with all friends now. So much easier.

Seriously? She bought you coffee when it was your time to pay and you are calling her self centred? She was being kind not expecting you to pay. You clearly don’t normally have cake so she is not a mind reader that you changed your mind. You are really over thinking this.

I don't think the OP is coming back.

So it’s your turn to pay.

She says she will get it (even though it’s your turn) because she wants cake.

You go along with this. And expect her to offer you cake.

So she’s now paying for 2 coffees and 2 pieces of cake. Even though it’s your turn.

Don’t be daft.

If you wanted cake you should have said “oh no I will get it, it’s my turn and I want cake too”. Or “oooh that sounds nice let’s split the bill”. Basically any other scenario then friend paying for everything when it’s your turn.

So you already ordered coffee, you got your purse out to pay and she said she would get it because she was having cake, so as not to be a cf and expect you to pay fornher cake. Seems fine to me. If you wanted cake, just say. I think you are martyring yourself.

If you wanted cake you should have said so. I would have asked you but that doesn’t mean everyone would think to.

You should have said ooooh. I fancy cake too now you’ve mentioned it. She can’t advocate for you. You weren’t planning to get cake until she did so how would she know. I’m sure she would have been happy to pay if you just said you’d like some too.

YANBU.

If I was buying coffee and cake for myself, I would offer my friend.

It's good manners.

Really?? FFS be grateful you could meet at all....what a ridiculous post. Another Karen

Get a grip my god what a moaning bunch 😂

Oh Christ on a cracker. The worlds gone mad.

Why are you calling your friend self-centred for paying for your coffee when it was your go?

This. You got a free coffee and still complain. Feel sorry for your friend.

Maybe she couldnt afford cake for you too

Diagram, or it didn't happen

It is our own responsibility to provide ourselves with 🍰 don’t blame your mate if you let yourself down in your desires 😋

So she bought you coffee but not cake and coffee?
Errr....

And in other News today...

She’s being thoughtful

Well all I can say is the 58% who voted you were being unreasonable are incredibly rude

It’s rude to not offer all she had to do is say I am having cake today, are you? Then make a decision

On pint of principle now I would be texting and telling her from now on it’s easier if you both but your own

LOL @ people giving advice to someone on how to ask for cake

“Don’t be silly it’s my turn, and I fancy cake too. What shall we have?”

You know what I think the OP has been completely blasted here! I actually think the friend was RUDE not to have OFFERED a piece of cake. I would always offer and my friends' would most certainly always return that offer. It's called being POLITE! So imo the friend was being tight and rude.