would you go to middle east

[gg12346]

Husband just announced that he will be travelling to middle east for work .He has been given a decent package .Our kid is in primary so doesnt matter much but I am very upset with the news I dont wish to relocate .I dont work at the moment but I plan to work in future
Am I been unreasoble if I tell him I shall rather leave him to work there alone and go back home to live with my parents for a few months.I cant live in london all alone with kid makes no sense .
AIBU in saying so ? I just dont wish to go with him .There is no feeling left to always wander around.

So this is a temporary assignment and the location matters

its a permanent shift not temporary but since he is shifting to small place in middle east .He plans to come back to uk once the child comes in year 5 or so .

Absolutely not.

As a woman, it would be dangerous for you.

With the london job market being stagnent and not much of income rise ,the job is good for us .But I am sobbing and I feel like I have no emotion left .

I wouldn’t go. He doesn’t get to make announcements about where you will live: he gets to start conversations and as grown adults and equal partners you have a discussion and reach a mutual agreement. He skipped that step and seems to think he’s an alpha male from the 1950s.

If he’s leaving to work elsewhere I’d say you can stay where you like, though what will you do about your kid’s school? He/she still needs to be educated.

I personally would never go to the Middle East. I want to feel safe when I’m walking around outside and don’t want to be treated as lesser for being a woman.

How long is his posting for? Have you thought about what you’ll do with your house/flat while he’s away?

Why dangerous ?

Where? Ot makes a huge hige difference.
If he is certain he is goingceithout discussing with you first thats a probkem. Why is he so desperate to go?
Have you had a proper discussion with real facts and researched information?

Why can't you stay in London?

Where are your parents?

Why does he feel he can just say this is what he's doing?

currently I am home schooling my child and so I would continue to do that .To be honest I can stay alone here but then I would have to go back to work in covid which I dont want to .

I feel there might be cultural differences here, are there?

And like fuck would I go to the Middle East. Not even with someone who considered me an equal, let alone him. I could not behave in a way that would be compatible with life in the ME & nor would I take a child there

We are a single income family . I just work part time .He supports the mortage .He has been very unsatisfied in his work life and his job gives him some space to grow.The profile and designation etc.and also the salary .He says we can save much there which can help us to buy the flat easier .Instead of keeping it on mortage

Dangerous because the human, especially women's, rights are atrocious in many places there.

Its all a financial decision .Any wife would support it but I dont want to go

If you don't want to go, please don't. Life is short and it's yours to make the best of it, not to waste it doing things you don't want to do.

to be honest I fear the separation and also this news moved me but I Ithink I shall be ok with not going .

Would I go to a place where women have very few rights, with a child I might not be able to bring home without a man's permission, with a man who just announced he was moving to another country with no discussion?

No. I wouldn't hit myself in the face with a brick either. Because I'm not insane.

Any wide would support it? No they wouldn't!
I would NEVER agree to live in the ME.

@gg12346

Its all a financial decision .Any wife would support it but I dont want to go

WHERE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?

As others have said, where is pretty crucial to this!

However, regardless of that, if you don't want to move you don't have to. He doesn't get to dictate your life.

yes .its because I have had anything in my life left to be honest .I really felt like the super idiot today ,Giving 10 years to a marriage and ruining everything I had.
Thank you all , you have given me the strength.

WHERE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?

Almost nowhere in the Middle East is a Hague convention country (Jordan and Saudi and I wouldn't live in Saudi). So does it matter?

its a city in Saudi Arabia

I was gonna say depends where, depends on the package (because ‘decent’ is never enough when there’s kids involved). It’s not dangerous necessarily, unless of course you’re off to Yemen.

But you clearly don’t want to go. It doesn’t sound like the marriage is strong enough to cope with you getting there and hating it. If you’re not sure you could go, you won’t be sure you could move back and leave him even if it was best for you.

It’s only ever worth doing if you’re both on the same page. He’s ‘announced’ this, not discussed it. Don’t go. He doesn’t get to make the decisions for you all.

@ImRealHonest

I was gonna say depends where, depends on the package (because ‘decent’ is never enough when there’s kids involved). It’s not dangerous necessarily, unless of course you’re off to Yemen.

But you clearly don’t want to go. It doesn’t sound like the marriage is strong enough to cope with you getting there and hating it. If you’re not sure you could go, you won’t be sure you could move back and leave him even if it was best for you.

It’s only ever worth doing if you’re both on the same page. He’s ‘announced’ this, not discussed it. Don’t go. He doesn’t get to make the decisions for you all.

Everywhere in the Middle East is dangerous, it’s just that some are more dangerous that others. Dubai seems to be the most Western tolerant but still throws people in jail for no good reason.