would you go to middle east

[gg12346]

Husband just announced that he will be travelling to middle east for work .He has been given a decent package .Our kid is in primary so doesnt matter much but I am very upset with the news I dont wish to relocate .I dont work at the moment but I plan to work in future
Am I been unreasoble if I tell him I shall rather leave him to work there alone and go back home to live with my parents for a few months.I cant live in london all alone with kid makes no sense .
AIBU in saying so ? I just dont wish to go with him .There is no feeling left to always wander around.

Do not go!

As many have said, it’s not safe for women to go there. Once there, your DH has a lot of rights over you and many threads on here have shown that men’s attitudes to their wives can change one they are in that environment.

Most chillingly, in most ME countries you can’t return to UK with your children if you decide you want to, so your husband has a right to keep them there.

Don’t go, even for a few weeks to “set up” or for a visit.

Jordan appears more open to Western women. I have never felt unsafe there or under my husband's rule. Beautiful country and for most part, friendly people.

No way would I move to a place where women are viewed as second class citizens

@SeverusSnape1

And what's he doing ANNOUNCING to you he is going to ME? That's not a decision you just make yourself and inform your DW when you're married!!!

This. You're talking as if he's gone as far as got a job there and decided that he's going to take it without having any discussion with you. Who does that?

He must know that it's an enormous sacrifice for a woman used to living in London to move to Saudi Arabia, to the extent that you'd have to think very carefully before doing it, and he should only even consider it if you were fully on board, which you're obviously not.

My wife worked in Saudi for almost 20 years with no trouble. I spent 27 years there also with no trouble (apart from the crazy drivers that totalled 3 of my cars!)

First off, can we please stop with the needing a chaperone stuff. Absolute nonsense. Culturally some families will not allow their wives/sisters/daughters out without a chaperone, but that doesnt mean it is a requirement.

@gg12346 you mention a small place. If you are talking about anywhere outside Jeddah, Riyadh or the tri cities of Damman/Khobar/Dhahran I really wouldn't go. Those are large cities where a western way of life is a possibility. I would be very reluctant to go anywhere else - and I say that as someone who lived in KSA for 5 years. It is also the sort of post where you need to be in total agreement about what you are doing. An announcement that such a move is happening doesnt bode well. Living in KSA needs total and mutual support for and from everyone.

There was an AMA thread about living in KSA a while ago which may be worth reading - although I think you have already made up your mind.

There are a lot of things wrong with Saudi, however it is also not always the monstrous place that some on Mumsnet will have you believe. I'm happy to answer questions here or via pm.

Exactly what @MrsTerryPratchett said OP. You'd be an absolute idiot and could lose your child if you wanted to come home permanently

Saudi Ariba would be a no from me. But then the announcement would be a no for me, too.

The PP suggesting OP goes to see what it is like..... is giving really, really bad advice. Are you clear that a woman needs her father or husband's permission to travel. What would you do if he withheld that permission?

Have a read of

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27srightssinSaudiiArabia

And a series of fictionalised stories too give you some insight.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Princess-Jean-Sasson-ebook/dp/B0060MCGCW/ref=mpssa113?dchild=1&keywords=princess&qid=1604326795&s=digital-text&sprefix=princess&sr=1-3

One point ( and those who know better please say ) I know a few people who have gone to Dubai - for tax reasons - and hey ho ) Personally I would not but not my piace to comment on others' family decisions But i do believe Dubai is somewhat less onerous on law about women etc.

where I agree with @frazzledasarock if you are not sure don't go to any country . I like to think I have a very solid marriage ( and I do ) but I put my foot down at moving to New York. Don't care if more money - it isn't worth uprooting the family - DCs etc for a few more quid in the bank. ( just my opinion) and @katscamel has a valid point on the other side of the equation.

I would not go in a million years. Adultery is punishable by stoning to death. Even if you never cheat, surely the fact this is even a thing there is enough to put you off

Not even for a stopover. YANBU.

It’s ridiculous to tar all Middle East countries with the same brush.

If you’re black, it’s not that safe in the US.

its a city in Saudi Arabia

Was going to ask where too then saw you'd answered
No way as a woman would I go anywhere near Saudi Arabia if I could help it.

SeverusSnape1

And what's he doing ANNOUNCING to you he is going? That's not a decision you just make yourself and inform your DW when you're married!!!

Exactly - would be mightily pissed off if DH said that, um, alright for you fuckface, did you ask me who it would affect just as much, if not more?!

Sorry, me again

@seayork2020
Why live in a compound and not normal places?

Exactly.....
Maybe easier to close eyes and pretend everything is groovy if you shut yourself off in a compound perhaps?
Treat ya nice if a rich secluded white British woman....

I’m glad you asked here op

No I wouldn’t go either

I live in Saudi Arabia. I'm enjoying it. It's changing every day. I definitely haven't felt like a second class citizen or anything. It's very normal here. You see Saudi men pushing proms and shopping in supermarkets all the time. It isn't like they have harems of women following them everywhere.

I live in Saudi Arabia. I'm enjoying it. It's changing every day. I definitely haven't felt like a second class citizen or anything. It's very normal here

Do you live in a compound?

@Quaagars

I live in Saudi Arabia. I'm enjoying it. It's changing every day. I definitely haven't felt like a second class citizen or anything. It's very normal here

Do you live in a compound?

Why do you ask? Where do you live?

@jennie0412

As a woman, it would be dangerous for you.

You don't even know which country it is

Why do you ask?

Was just wondering because your answer "I don't feel like a second class citizen, it's very normal here, I'm enjoying it" would have something to do with whether you were in a compound, or on normal streets mixing with everyone else.

Yes. Absolutely. What an amazing opportunity for your family and child. Congratulations. I know it's not for everyone, but I have lived in a number of countries. I would love to do so again.

Saudi is not a very nice place in itself. It borders Yemen, Iraq and Syria.

Westerners have a kidnap value, if you're not out there on behalf of the UK government/military, do not expect them to help.

Compound living, have got a few friends that have done that. Concrete walls, pool, lots of dust....

It sounds like you don't have a good marriage or love your husband?
For those reasons I wouldn't go.