To think that having a quiet understated Christmas is not such a bad thing

[itsgoodtobehome]

Everyone seems to be in such a panic about Christmas, and what's going to happen in the current climate. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, but I don't have any issue with it being a bit quieter this year. I always find it a bit stressful anyway - the tons of food shopping, presents, wrapping, the extras, who is going where, what's happening on Boxing Day etc. I quite like the idea of having a year off.

After all, it's just a day of over-indulgence. Surely we can all cope without that for 1 year!! AIBU?

Parker, you do realise that not every family is like yours, right?

Amongst friends and family, they are the same as us with Christmas shopping and preparation so that what I’ve based my comment on.

Parker231
Christmas isn’t stressful. The shopping and preparation are shared amongst the family.
Not in every house.

Then Christmas isn't the issue is it?

@Parker231

Amongst friends and family, they are the same as us with Christmas shopping and preparation so that what I’ve based my comment on.

Doesn’t change the point that it isn’t like that in every family.

And completely misses the point that some people will be utterly alone.

Just to put this in context - my eldest son (aged 24) died suddenly and unexpected on 25th December 2019. It was an extremely traumatic event, as my 15 year old daughter found him (when she went to persuade him to start the present opening) and my other son (age 22) had to perform CPR while we waited for the ambulance.
If anyone needs a reminder that one day in December isn’t the ‘be all and end all’, let this be it.

I’m very sorry for anyone who will be alone this Christmas. It’s not going to be a good one for many.

@stitchinguru - so sorry for your family loss

I agree with you OP, & am quite looking forward to a quiet Christmas myself. Lockdown doesn't really bother me much, but I get I'm probably in the minority & can see how awful many people will find it.

There's a big difference between "a bit quieter" and "total isolation."

I and many others are facing Christmas 100% alone. I probably won't see or speak to a single person for at least a whole week over Christmas, since the people I'd normally speak to and rely on for emotional support will be busy 'doing Christmas' for their families. Under ordinary circumstances I could go to a friend's house for Christmas or go abroad; now my only option is to be alone.

And it's not just one day out of many. It's yet another day of solitary confinement out of hundreds. Christmas is supposed to be special and it's not wrong to be emotionally affected by Christmas and to find loneliness especially bad on Christmas.

Christmas Day is also my birthday, which makes it double the kick in the teeth.

YANBU
I LOVE a quiet understated Christmas 🎅
Cannot stand all the racing around the country trying to see all my relatives in a short window of time, or stressing over entertaining everyone at ours with shopping/last minute changes of plans, etc, etc.... Awful.
Personally, I'm happiest with a simple, lazy, restful Christmas 😊🥰

It's always people with loads of social contact who claim social contact isn't a big deal. The same as how it's only ever rich people who claim money isn't a big deal.

If you LIVE with people (who you actually get along with) then STFU lecturing others about loneliness.

All us introverts will be breathing a bit of a sigh of relief if we are still under restrictions at Christmas.

Oh fuck off. Really, fuck to the absolutely other side of fuck. I'm an introvert and you do NOT speak for us. Tell you what Hopoindown31 leave your lovely busy family home and go sit inside a one-bedroom flat on your own for a month then come back and dictate what all introverts feel.

Why can't you have a big get together with your loved ones any other day of the year?
Have you never heard of this little thing called "a job"?

@PizzzaExpressWoking

It's always people with loads of social contact who claim social contact isn't a big deal. The same as how it's only ever rich people who claim money isn't a big deal.

If you LIVE with people (who you actually get along with) then STFU lecturing others about loneliness.

All us introverts will be breathing a bit of a sigh of relief if we are still under restrictions at Christmas.

Oh fuck off. Really, fuck to the absolutely other side of fuck. I'm an introvert and you do NOT speak for us. Tell you what Hopoindown31 leave your lovely busy family home and go sit inside a one-bedroom flat on your own for a month then come back and dictate what all introverts feel.

Why can't you have a big get together with your loved ones any other day of the year?
Have you never heard of this little thing called "a job"?

I’m not allowed to see my children. They’re over 18.

One is bubbled with me but her granny on her dads aside is very elderly and sick. This is likely to be her last christmas.

So if she wants to see her granny before she does, she will have to isolate in her own flat on her own (except for work) and then bubble with her granny over Christmas. Which I totally support and understand.

My elder son will be working and dd2 is likely to be stuck at uni and if not see above re granny.

It’s still shit for me to face being on my own all over Christmas. I wfh I don’t get to meet anyone except for if I meet a friend in passing in the supermarket and even that is rare.

So upset at the thought of months alone again. And those smug familied up folks who are gloating about a nice quiet Christmas and how wonderful it’s going to be can fuck right off.

*dies

[quote Parker231]@stitchinguru - so sorry for your family loss[/quote]
Thank you for your kind words. I do hope some others read and think about my post.
I’m not sympathy hunting particularly, but just think that sometimes people need to consider the ‘bigger picture’.
My experience has radically changed my perspective...

@stitchinguru sorry for your loss

@Frdd
Read my post.... you never know when it’s going to be someone’s ‘last Christmas’.
If the NHS is overwhelmed, 2020 could be lots of people’s ‘last Christmas’.

The thing for me is that Christmas is about seconding time with those I love.

And the rules this year mean I can’t. It’s not about stuff it’s not about a massive party - it’s about getting to see my kids and spend time with them.

That’s hard for us because of geography and work and Christmas season (not always Christmas Day) is the only time of the year we get to do this.

And that makes me sad. I understand why it has to be like this, and I won’t break the law, but I wish those crowing about the lovely understated Christmas and how wonderful coz they’re going to have a lovely quiet Christmas with their family around them would just stop and think that others might not be in the same position.

[quote stitchinguru]@Frdd
Read my post.... you never know when it’s going to be someone’s ‘last Christmas’.
If the NHS is overwhelmed, 2020 could be lots of people’s ‘last Christmas’.[/quote]
I understand that. But in this situation, they know it’s likely to be her last Christmas and they have prior warning. I totally appreciate it could be the last Christmas for any of us.

@Frdd
Apologies.... you obviously have.
Must have been posting simultaneously.

Spending time.

Autocorrect sorry.

It’s a hugely important time for our family. We are normally very close and lockdown, shielding family members etc.. has really impacted all our lives. I don’t want to go the pub and the office party and I can live without the pantomime and the Xmas markets. However I want to spend the week with family like we normally do. I don’t think that’s unreasonable to want even if it may be impossible to get.

Frdd

@BigBigPumpkin

You are not being unreasonable to enjoy a quiet Christmas. You are being unreasonable to expect everyone else to do the same.

Quite

And those smug familied up folks who are gloating about a nice quiet Christmas and how wonderful it’s going to be can fuck right off.

This is absolutely bang on the money, and I'm so sorry for everyone who's facing a difficult or lonely Christmas (not just people who are alone but those trapped in bad or abusive marriages, single parents, etc.).

Hopefully we can start a support thread here over Christmas to check in with each other?