To think that having a quiet understated Christmas is not such a bad thing

[itsgoodtobehome]

Everyone seems to be in such a panic about Christmas, and what's going to happen in the current climate. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, but I don't have any issue with it being a bit quieter this year. I always find it a bit stressful anyway - the tons of food shopping, presents, wrapping, the extras, who is going where, what's happening on Boxing Day etc. I quite like the idea of having a year off.

After all, it's just a day of over-indulgence. Surely we can all cope without that for 1 year!! AIBU?

Christmas is looking likely to be a very quiet one in our house, just DD (3y) and me.

As a one off, this will be absolutely fine and I will revel in making the day suit the two of us and special in its own quiet way.

However, my DDad has Parkinson's and I don't think he'll be in a position to enjoy Christmas next year. This may be the last one he can actually enjoy and it is thoroughly sad if we can't spend it together. Basically DD and I will be fine but I feel terribly sad for the older generation if they will really miss having the grandchildren around.

I have friends for whom lockdown means they will literally be on their own. I think this year has been very tough for everyone obviously but it really highlights being single if you are. I'm grateful to have DD for company.

No I'm not remotely happy with it. Like many other posters Christmas means spending time with family. I live with my immediate family all year round. At Christmas I want to be surrounded by my wider family. I want to laugh and play games and for my child to make amazing memories playing with his cousins and aunts and uncles.

I couldnt care less about the 'consumerism' being smaller this year but I am gutted about not seeing family and friends. Especially since my baby is due in a few weeks and Christmas would have been a lovely time to introduce him to everyone.

I would rather have no lockdown now and not bother with Christmas. I don't want to "save" it, I enjoy the time off work but never bother with a tree or decorations etc and would rather be allowed out.

I haven't really thought too hard about Christmas yet. We usually spend a fair bit of it with my (adult) DSC but we've hardly seen them this year and who knows what the rules will be by then. It won't be the same without them. DH will find it very hard.

That’s fine if you have at least one other adult (who you like and isn’t abusing you) in your household.

If you live alone, or alone with children, or you live with an abusive or maybe just with housemates you don’t get on with, a quiet cosy Christmas loses its appeal somewhat!

If you are in a couple with children or without, or you live with adults you get on with, then you’re a bit smug and blinkered to say “oh one quiet Christmas is ok”. Some people will be terribly lonely. It’s not clear if they’ll keep up support bubbles or not, and even that doesn’t help everyone.

Bliss for me, but in-laws are toxic. I invited stepson and his fiancée, only because he said “we’ve never been invited for Christmas” when had lunch a few weeks ago. This isn’t true. They feel they can’t go anywhere because of pets and her relatives. So I said- you’re invited for this year, bring your pets.

Guess why they don’t think they’ll be able to accept the invitation?

Should have said, both stepson and his DP are nice people and are welcome any time.

Nothing will really change for us anyway, we’ve always just had Christmas at home. Relatives won’t be able to pop round with gifts but I can honestly live without that anyway .

I live a long way from my Mum who was widowed in March and now lives on her own. As long as my kids and I can see her at Christmas I couldn’t care less about all of the other stuff that comes with it.

The way older people who live in nursing homes or on their own with no close family nearby are being treated is so bad.

You're right, it's wonderful that a pandemic has come along so that you can have a Christmas that you could have had at any point if you just were enough of a grown-up to express what you want to others

You can have the Christmas you want in 2020 OP. In fact, you can have that Christmas every single year. Literally, it is not compulsory to do anything over Christmas.

But if you can’t see that some people want something different then you are beyond help. I have an extremely stressful job and I live away from ‘home’. I haven’t seen my parents much this year due to lockdown, and I hope I will be able to go ‘home’ for a fortnight and spend time with my loved ones and I will be mightily fucked off if covid prevents that from happening.

Totally depends on people's current situation. I'm living alone, 200 miles away from the rest of my family with the only people I know in this area being work colleagues.

If travel restrictions are not lifted I could end up spending my week off work over Christmas completely alone so like some others on this thread so like many others on this thread a quiet understated Christmas would be incredibly lonely and depressing

I honestly dont get the panic either.

The only thing that is changing for many is that they cant mix households, that is litrally neither here nor there (millions survived birthdays in lockdown, easter in lockdown and other events - we couldn't cant do traditional halloween, mothers day, fathers day etc...)

No one is stealing xmas you still have the traditional dinner, gifts, stockings, decor and everything else just as a nuclear family unit not an extended family party.

but I believe xmas is for kids mostly and big family xmases are all about adults wants not the children - kids will happily enjoy a relaxed day playing with their new toys with mam & dad and honestly they rarely appreciate being dragged from pillar to post to perform for other family members entertainment, thats what adults 'expect' of them and really social expectations can be knocked on the head for once.

This whole thing really shows how selfish and inflexable so many people can be, its just 1 day.

I live alone, 150 miles from my DPs. One of them is terminally ill, this is likely to be their last Christmas. So no, I won't be happy if we cannot spend Christmas & New Year together. Some may like the idea of a 'year off', but it will be miserable for others.

It's totally stressful and if you don't find it stressful your not doing all the shopping and hosting.
I've seen on here before on previous threads people complaining about where to go for Christmas and who to have over .
It's a pain to be honest, a few years ago I realised why am I doing this and stopped .
This year it'll be no different even with covid just me , dh and dc . I do want to see my dm and dh wants to see his parents but if we can't we can't .
I absolutely feel it must be awful for single people and those on their own because you want to be with someone.

I’m very excited about it!
Every year I’m either working, and if I’m not I’m running around visiting everyone. Normally don’t get back til 5ish with the kids.
Will be nice to sit in my pjs all day, have a fat roast and relax!!

I've never understood why it is considered so important that people are not left alone and feeling miserable on Christmas Day compared to the other 364 days in the year? I totally feel for the people who are alone and struggling, but not sure precisely why it being Christmas will make it better or worse.

So because I live alone the other 364 days of the year, I should just suck up being alone on Christmas Day? Instead of spending it with family as we have done every year for the past 56 years? Nice....

@RedskyAtnight I agree that it’s shit that people have to be alone the rest of the year but surely you can see that Christmas is a time that families usually get together? That those with missing loved ones will have memories of them at this particular time of year.

Our last 2 Christmases were just the 3 of us - by choice. Was absolutely perfect and we loved it. Very happy to be doing the same again this year but I appreciate everyone is different.

It's as stressful as you choose to make it.

Well good for you. What I’m worried about is not having one of only a few days a year where I don’t have to cook 347 times a day and where I’m not in the house, alone, with two small children. Husband will be working as usual and if we aren’t allowed others in our homes or to go to theirs then it will be exactly the same as all the other days in the year for me. I’m sure others will enjoy that just fine, I will sorely miss one of a very few opportunities in the year for me to not have to do the exact same as I do all the other days.

Some of these comments are so thoughtless to those who are going to be forced to spend Christmas on their own.

Maybe we should just all spend the day on our own? All be in the same boat...once again!

It’s ok for me so why should I care about anyone else? Just about sums up everything that’s wrong with the country tbh.

[quote whiteroseredrose]@itsgoodtobehome. I hope you enjoy your quiet understated Christmas.

We're desperately unhappy about ours being affected. My parents and PIL aren't getting any younger and every year I always worry that it will be the last 😢. We enjoy singing round the piano and playing board games with them. A quiet day with just us will be pointless frankly. Eating turkey and opening presents don't make Christmas special. It's family that do that. [/quote]
Meanwhile, for me the family I usually spend Christmas day with make it incredibly stressful and not special or enjoyable at all. There's no singing round the piano, or playing board games, or hanging out and having lovely conversations. There's my dad who is either moaning and losing his temper about everything and anything, or staring in silence at soap operas on TV, and my sibling who is usually at their partner's house so I don't get to see them much.

Having made me feel stressed with all his angry moaning, my dad then often goes to bed at about 8.30pm, so I am left alone, lonely, bored and miserable wondering why I bothered travelling hundreds of miles for this.

I am very much looking forward to spending a relaxing and stress free day this year with my DP.

I do however understand that plenty of people do enjoy spending time with family, and that for them Christmas with just their own household is very much not what they want or what they will enjoy.

All us introverts will be breathing a bit of a sigh of relief if we are still under restrictions at Christmas.

We are/were due to host MIL and her collection of "waifs and strays" (friends who for one reason or another (some sad others their own fault) don't seem to have anywhere else to go for Christmas. I can't say I am a fan of this as it creates a large (expensive) Christmas full of picky older women who won't help but are happy to make snide comments.

I'm just waiting for the appropriate time where I can legitimately officially cancel.