To think that having a quiet understated Christmas is not such a bad thing

[itsgoodtobehome]

Everyone seems to be in such a panic about Christmas, and what's going to happen in the current climate. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, but I don't have any issue with it being a bit quieter this year. I always find it a bit stressful anyway - the tons of food shopping, presents, wrapping, the extras, who is going where, what's happening on Boxing Day etc. I quite like the idea of having a year off.

After all, it's just a day of over-indulgence. Surely we can all cope without that for 1 year!! AIBU?

I absolutely loooooove christmas but I'm fine with a somewhat scaled down version this year. I do think that it should be possible to invite single people. It would be a bit harsh to let them be lonely at christmas. I'm okay with whole families not seeing each other because thwy can celebrate within the family.

I do find it a bit...painful... that there was little empathy and some bad talk for the islamic people that wanted to see each other at their religious feast after ramadan but we're all up in arms about christmas. Their holiday must be just as important to them as christmas is to us.

I'm with you OP. I find the whole thing draining and stressful. My family want to enjoy a decadent wonderful Christmas without doing any actual work. I do the shopping, decorations and all the cooking. They sit around and say things like 'why don't you sit down for a while' when I'm 20 mins away from serving up.

@itsgoodtobehome

Everyone seems to be in such a panic about Christmas, and what's going to happen in the current climate. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, but I don't have any issue with it being a bit quieter this year. I always find it a bit stressful anyway - the tons of food shopping, presents, wrapping, the extras, who is going where, what's happening on Boxing Day etc. I quite like the idea of having a year off.

After all, it's just a day of over-indulgence. Surely we can all cope without that for 1 year!! AIBU?

• Good for you if you’re happy with a quiet Christmas, I, and many others, are not.
• We don’t find those preparations in the least stressful, it’s fun and exciting - even preparing to feed c.15 for 2-3 days and my DM and I do every year. If you find it stressful, don’t do it, no ones making you.
• We’re all one big extended family together every Christmas, no tooing and frowing. We love being together and we don’t want a year off.
• We also see each other all the time, not just one day, that doesn’t make that one day (actually usually most of a week for us) less special. It’s our favourite time of the year.

So yes, YABU, to think everyone else should feel the same as you. If you’re not that bothered, then YOU don’t need to bother. I’ve had pretty much the same Christmas every year for the last 33 years, it’s my favourite time of the year and I absolutely don’t want to lose even one. A couple of years ago my Dad died suddenly the day after Boxing Day, every Christmas with the people that matter to me, matters.

@rorosemary

I absolutely loooooove christmas but I'm fine with a somewhat scaled down version this year. I do think that it should be possible to invite single people. It would be a bit harsh to let them be lonely at christmas. I'm okay with whole families not seeing each other because thwy can celebrate within the family.

I do find it a bit...painful... that there was little empathy and some bad talk for the islamic people that wanted to see each other at their religious feast after ramadan but we're all up in arms about christmas. Their holiday must be just as important to them as christmas is to us.

I’m a committed Christian, we lost out on Easter, far more important than Christmas from a religious point of view, but no one seems to remember that when they want to make religious comparisons

"It’s just one year so don’t get why it’s such a big deal to people to have to tone it down just one time"

You don΄t see that for other people this one year might be the last chance to see their loved ones, either because they are old or because they have limited life expectancy for other reasons?

It΄s just one year- but it happens to be the year my dad is still alive.

Less commercialism would be a huge benefit. Less tat, fewer rubbish gifts and waste, less expectation on families ( Elf on the Shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, Christmas bedding, Christmas pj's, Christmas dog outfits😂 ...) all to 'make' force memories).
Loads of threads on here bemoaning all of that, now a way out!

I'm secretly longing for one.

Both DSs have long left home to live with partners. No DCs by choice.

But at Christmas their partners go to their family homes and they come here. Sometimes they stay for a few days.

I don't have the guts to tell them to stay home.

I don't like Christmas, all sorts of reasons connected to family illness and deaths but managed to hide it from the boys as they grew up. Too well, it seems, because they love Christmas here.

*You don΄t see that for other people this one year might be the last chance to see their loved ones, either because they are old or because they have limited life expectancy for other reasons?

It΄s just one year- but it happens to be the year my dad is still alive.*

I can never quite get my head around this. It's not like christmas is the only time you get to see people surely? I see some families have logistical issues getting people together (e.g. those with relatives overseas who only visit at christmas) but for the rest of us we see family regularly and what happens on one day of the year isn't really that important?

I know this year is slightly odd in that by the time we get to christmas we may not have had the same opportunities to meet in the weeks or months leading to christmas, but I still don't understand why meeting on 25th December is so much more important, than meeting a month later or earlier.

People really do tie themselves in knots in order to fail to understand that other people might live in different ways to them

Christmas is special as it’s the best time for family get togethers. Schools and Unis are on holiday, Bank Holidays help with fitting in time off work. We usually have 16 of us staying together for the time between Christmas and NY. It involves lots of planning and booking of flights. This year there will only be DH, DS and I.

@CrunchyNutNC

*You don΄t see that for other people this one year might be the last chance to see their loved ones, either because they are old or because they have limited life expectancy for other reasons?

It΄s just one year- but it happens to be the year my dad is still alive.*

I can never quite get my head around this. It's not like christmas is the only time you get to see people surely? I see some families have logistical issues getting people together (e.g. those with relatives overseas who only visit at christmas) but for the rest of us we see family regularly and what happens on one day of the year isn't really that important?

I know this year is slightly odd in that by the time we get to christmas we may not have had the same opportunities to meet in the weeks or months leading to christmas, but I still don't understand why meeting on 25th December is so much more important, than meeting a month later or earlier.

Because it's the time that most people have synchronised time off to be able to meet. That's not a universal truth, but most occupations do have more time off or shutdowns over Christmas.

Our Christmas Day is often low key, but we enjoy the build up through December, nativities, social events, winter wonderland (DS's birthday and party). Catching up with distanced family around the Christmas/ New Year period. Stripping all that away, plus not seeing family and friends reduces Christmas to a lockdown with tinsel and turkey. Whoopty bloody doo.

We've all had to make sacrifices, and those who obsess over seeing dozens of family members they would never make an effort to see at any other time of year are frankly just going to have to suck it up.

Having one smaller Christmas will not be the end of the world. It's one year!

It’s one day. It comes and goes in the blink of an eye. People are going so over the top with their prophesies of doom and gloom and how their lives are going to be detrimentally affected if they can’t be together with extended family on Xmas day. There are far more important things to worry about such as the fact that many families won’t be able to afford Xmas this year because their businesses have gone under or they’ve lost their jobs. Save your angst for things that really matter.

*We've all had to make sacrifices, and those who obsess over seeing dozens of family members they would never make an effort to see at any other time of year are frankly just going to have to suck it up.

Having one smaller Christmas will not be the end of the world. It's one year!*

Hey Grinch is that you?

I see my family all year round and still enjoy seeing them at Christmas.

Fingers crossed this lock down will work and the Christmas miseries will just have to suck up visiting relatives!

If you don't want to see them, don't use a pandemic for your excuse. Just say it like it is. Don't see you all year and don't care about seeing you.

@Livelovebehappy it's not one day! FFS, what is all this it's just one day nonsense! It's a holiday period, from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day.

Lots of visiting. Festivities etc.

We always do a quiet Christmas, so it won't be any different. I've never had hundreds of pounds to spunk on pantos, the ballet, Harrods Santa, excessive food, ice skating rink and all the other 'making memories' stuff anyway.

We're all denied seeing our families all year round, so it being Christmas is no different.

I think Christmas has gone excessive over the years, panto, Carole’s, plays, Christmas jumper days, school plays, church service, Christmas fairs, excess parties, staff parties, girls night out, boys night out, plus outside decorations, extra presents for all, secret Santa, bloody elf, matching pajamas, Christmas Eve boxes,

Have you ever thought it’s all too much?

Oh and breakfast with Santa, winter wonderland, store Santa’s and Santa trains!!!!

I’ll get my coat

keepgoingorstop you might be lucky enough to have a holiday period from Xmas to new year, but the reality is lots of people are off Xmas day, but then back to work as normal from Boxing Day. Long gone are the days where businesses close Xmas eve and re-open on 2nd January. So yes, it is mostly just the one day off for most of us.

@QuestionableDanceMoves

Its not about not bothering the rest of the year at all. I live 200 miles away from my parents, further from my sister. My DC are at school so I take leave in school holidays meaning I normally see my parents for longer periods of time but several months apart. It’s not feasible for me to visit for the day or a weekend because of the distance. Christmas for us has always been a good 5-7 days together, playing games, watching films, enjoying each other’s company as a whole family- we only manage that twice a year, maybe 3 times at a push. Why is it so hard for some people to grasp that “Christmas” is more than just a day to a lot of people and the prospect of not having it this year of all years is upsetting for some?

I’m right there with you @QuestionableDanceMoves

We’re 180 from DH’s parents, 250 from DM ;widowed). My siblings all live abroad (2/3) or in another distant part of the UK (1/3). None of us is close enough to pop round, or even visit for just a day. Even there one day and back the next is pretty exhausting!

Today marks a year since I last saw any of my 3 siblings. Haven’t seen DM for 4 months. My upcoming landmark birthday will be during the 4 week* lockdown. It’s looking very bleak. I’m feeling very bleak.

*as if it’s only going to be 4 weeks.

"I can never quite get my head around this. It's not like christmas is the only time you get to see people surely? I see some families have logistical issues getting people together (e.g. those with relatives overseas who only visit at christmas) but for the rest of us we see family regularly and what happens on one day of the year isn't really that important?"

If you had bothered to read my posts you would have seen that I explained my problem very clearly: my family all live in a different country and I work in a job which means I can only get time off to travel at Christmas or in the summer. There are plenty of people in the same situation. Just because it doesn΄t affect you, surely isn΄t that hard to understand.

@Livelovebehappy it's still not one day for a lot of people, be reasonable!

Even if you're working, you are allowed to socialise outside of working hours!

“I simply can’t understand why everybody doesn’t live their life like I do. What a lot of fuss about nothing!”

Honestly, so what if people only make an effort once a year? It's still making an effort and they use the Christmas break to do it.

I think that's great.

All the people who don't enjoy Christmas want to run it down

It's only one day (it's not)
Too much is done, it lasts too long (as opposed to it's on,y one day
Why choose Christmas to see relatives (why not.)
People spend too much (let them, spend what you want)

Whatever people say a lot of people take leave and use that time to meet with family. What's wrong with that?

Merry Christmas everyone and I hope you all get the Christmas you want.

For me it's meeting with loads of relatives, hopefully my nephew and his gorgeous family will be able to get over to us, after their previous trip was cancelled.

@itsgoodtobehome

For all those that are complaining that they only see their family at Christmas. Why is that? What's wrong with the other 364 days a year? I think that's exactly the sort of pressure/stress that I was talking about in my OP. Why do we put so much importance on that 1 day? Why can't you have a big get together with your loved ones any other day of the year?

Because we don’t all work 9-5 jobs and have weekends off...

Christmas is the only few days where everyone is off at the same time.