To think that having a quiet understated Christmas is not such a bad thing

[itsgoodtobehome]

Everyone seems to be in such a panic about Christmas, and what's going to happen in the current climate. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, but I don't have any issue with it being a bit quieter this year. I always find it a bit stressful anyway - the tons of food shopping, presents, wrapping, the extras, who is going where, what's happening on Boxing Day etc. I quite like the idea of having a year off.

After all, it's just a day of over-indulgence. Surely we can all cope without that for 1 year!! AIBU?

@Sindragosan Same! I love all the the festive activities. It’s not about buying stuff, it’s doing lovely things with other people who are important to you. No offence OP, but I don’t really find any of that stressful. I enjoy Christmas. We do what is best for us as a family. By all means enjoy a quiet Christmas, but understand others may not.

I'm sorry, Somewhere. Most of my birth family live in Australia and I know my mother, 82, with a life-limiting cancer, is desperate to see her brother, also very ill, and her son (my brother) and his family. It is very hard indeed.

I volunteered to work this year. First time in my whole nursing career.
Christmas is always low key in our house. The children will have their other parents to do all the things with this year. It's all going to be ok.

I always have a quiet Christmas at home. I don't visit anyone and no one visits us.
I don't understand why people make a big deal of it.

@plunkplunkfizz

Your “quiet understated” Christmas is all very well for you but what about those for whom it means utter silence and loneliness? Perhaps try looking beyond the end of your nose.

This.

@SomewhereEast I'm sorry that's really tough.

I'll be on my own ... I love Christmas but feel really sad about it this year.

I don’t understand the idea that just because some people are looking forward to a “quiet understated” Christmas (which they could have had before, even if it had meant pissing other people off), the rest of the country should be too. It’s just more of the “you’re only being asked to sit on your arse and watch Netflix” nonsense where people don’t bother to try to understand how other people live

*Christmas IS a religious celebration that's evolved into a cultural festival. It doesn't matter that it was 'tacked onto' a previous Pagan Winter festival. It could have been any time of year but the clue is in its name - Christ's Mass.

It's not just Christmas Day though. It's telling people they can't see family at all. Weve had a few Christmases with just DH, DDs and I. We also visit family over the Christmas period. I've seen my parents once since March. The idea of not seeing them at Christmas is one of the things contributing to my daily crying really.

Social Distancing is a very unnatural state overall.

Won't make much difference tonus on Christmas Day as that's always just DH and me. The run up will be a lot quieter, mainly because we are church goers ( and I'm in the choir) and missing all that will be sad. Not that we've been able to go to church since March, but zoom services have been good.

We talked about this at work the other day, how it could be a very quiet or even lockdown Christmas. Every woman said ‘thank goodness’.

Every woman said ‘thank goodness’.

Sounds like you all need to push back a bit on the ‘wife work’.

I am loving the idea of doing very little over the 2 days this year.
The idea of not travelling constantly to my family, his family and then having a house full of screaming children ( his not mine) fills me with joy
BAH HUMBUG I know but his family are split into 5 units and the planning / driving etc is tedious.
I only get 2 days off for Xmas and I look forward to returning to work.
Postpone it I say and have it in the summer

I absolutely love Christmas but I don’t date if we don’t see people, exchange gifts or whatever.
I’ll be at home with DH&DS and we will hopefully be safe and together.

@itsgoodtobehome. I hope you enjoy your quiet understated Christmas.

We're desperately unhappy about ours being affected. My parents and PIL aren't getting any younger and every year I always worry that it will be the last 😢. We enjoy singing round the piano and playing board games with them. A quiet day with just us will be pointless frankly. Eating turkey and opening presents don't make Christmas special. It's family that do that.

This time last year we decided it would be the last year we travelled and this year we'd stay home. At the time when we were running around commuting and doing nursery runs etc the thoughts of a quiet few days at home sounded lovely.

This year... Oh joy, another day looking at these four walls.

It's not just a day in our house, try a month. We usually have 3 or 4 Christmas dinners, with family and friends before the day. The days itself depends if DD and her family come to stay.

I only wish it could be quieter.

Best Christmas I ever had ever ever ever is the one I spent completely alone. The extra big bonus was no one expected me to eat turkey.

I think the government just needs to clearly state that, whatever happens between now and then, big family gatherings will not be an option at Christmas - like Scotland have already said. It annoys me that they seem so reluctant as apparently starving kids and underfunding the NHS and being dangerously incompetent are less forgivable than 'cancelling Christmas' for one year.

We've already had no one over at Passover, only two people at Rosh Hashana (at days' notice - the first year in over a decade we hadn't had our big get-together at ILs) and two at Yom Kippur and those are our big family times - and of course synagogue times in the case of the latter two. It was a bit sad, but also novel and hopefully a one-off it being quite that restricted, it can be done.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

It's not just Christmas Day though. It's telling people they can't see family at all. Weve had a few Christmases with just DH, DDs and I. We also visit family over the Christmas period. I've seen my parents once since March. The idea of not seeing them at Christmas is one of the things contributing to my daily crying really.

Social Distancing is a very unnatural state overall.

I am so sorry that this is taking such a toll on you, it is a similar situation to us. I have seen my parents in February and July this year, one sister I managed to see this week as well as those two times. My other sister, nephews and nephew's family I haven't seen since last Christmas, so all this 'understated Christmas for one year can do one.'

What I enjoy about Christmas is seeing friends and family. I would never choose a Christmas at home just the 4 of us. To me 'quiet' means 'a bit lonely and boring'. Obviously we'll get on with it and the children will have fun. I see why it will be needed, but I don't personally feel it is better. I also feel in some cases it will lead to more spending as people compensate for not having much to do. Plus we have to have a work 'party' via Zoom (shudder!).

@Sindragosan

Its not the buying that I will miss, its the school play, the carol services, pre-Christmas parties, visiting relatives... the people side of it. Nothing wrong in having an understated Christmas if you want, but especially after the year we've had, I miss actual people, in the flesh, not zoom.

This is what I am going to miss. I love the nativity plays, carol singing, outdoor markets, pop up ice rinks in the garden centres, school fetes, crib service on Christmas Eve. And poor MIL will likely be stuck on her own with FIL's rapidly progressing dementia, merry fucking Christmas for her, and my own family live in NI so I can't see them either. What a shit Christmas.

No stress here either. We always have a relaxed fun day.

I think people who don't have or enjoy spending time with their families might be happy with a quiet Christmas, but personally for me, having my whole family in one place, sharing food and games and music, watching children unwrapping presents, cooking and talking and laughing, it's my single favourite time of the year. I am heartbroken that it isn't happening this year, especially as it's the first year DD will be old enough to really enjoy it.

I want Christmas to be toned down but that doesn't mean everyone has to like it. A bit of projecting on this thread. My adult dd is a nightmare, buying vastly overpriced gifts (think £250 jumpers etc) and her expectations of what I am to provide on Christmas day get ever more demanding. I used to love Christmas, now I dread it as it is tense and exhausting. Tbh I was going to tell her I did not want to host any more as I have done so for over thirty years.

As a kid, we always had a lovely Christmas. Nice enough presents. My all time favourite was a Mary Quant skin care kit - showing my age. I had admired it for months, but it was £10 and way out of my reach!

So sorry for people who will be lonely but we need to calm down a bit because it is best to have family to visit eventually rather than more deaths.