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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.

537 replies

DelvingintoInsanity · 27/10/2020 16:55

A group on facebook that I'm in.

Have never been accused of transphobia before and like to think I'm a tolerant and inclusive person. Quite socked and wondering if I am in the wrong here?

Clearly, I'm now close from being banned from the group. Just for context, it's a writing group.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
OP posts:
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6
ScreamingBeans · 27/10/2020 20:27

"transphobic" just doesn't mean anything.

Except maybe "not a slavish Mitläufer"

Be proud

Hickorydickoryspock · 27/10/2020 20:27

It can be really intense. I got banned from a group for saying I didnt think people should threaten violence against jk rowling. That is literally ALL I said. Got called a terfand banned. And i am actually trans.

CaraDuneRedux · 27/10/2020 20:32

@Hickorydickoryspock

It can be really intense. I got banned from a group for saying I didnt think people should threaten violence against jk rowling. That is literally ALL I said. Got called a terfand banned. And i am actually trans.
Shock

That's the thing - everyone who is in any way reasonable is being thrown under the bus by this crazed, pseudo-religious cult.

I can never forget the fact that in this country's first attempted prosecution for hate crimes against transgender people, the accused was a transwoman - Miranda Yardley. (Fortunately the judge threw it out the morning it started, but Miranda had it hanging over her for months).

contactusdeletus · 27/10/2020 20:34

You're not transphobic. The people claiming otherwise need to get proper lives and stop deriving sad thrills from misogynistic internet pile-ons.

FairFridaythe13th · 27/10/2020 20:35

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I've said more than once that I find on this issue there's a similarity to modern art.

Middle-aged woman with no training in art but a sound grounding in biology tries her hand at life drawing - not art.
30yo of either sex who belongs to the Tory party and enjoys country pursuits paints landscapes in oils - not art.
Young person enrolled at Goldsmith's orders consignment of carrots to be dumped in front forecourt as a statement - that's art. Notify the Turner Prize shortlist forthwith!

On trans issues - all that matters is that you have the right affiliations. Knowledge and life experience count for nothing.

I went to art school and as a punishment one of my lecturers lit a particularly crap and half hearted piece of work in my end of year show. I had left my project to beyond the last minuet and he knew I was taking the piss.

I sat in the exhibition room, earwigging away and was most amused to hear how deep and meaningful my piece was, and how people seemed to know exactly what I was trying to say. No dear hearts. What it was actually trying to say was ‘oh shit oh shit oh shit, it’s Sunday afternoon and I need to do this today, it’s pissing down with rain and I don’t want to walk to the art supply warehouse, dammit what have I got at home?’

MaudTheInvincible · 27/10/2020 20:35

@Hickorydickoryspock

It can be really intense. I got banned from a group for saying I didnt think people should threaten violence against jk rowling. That is literally ALL I said. Got called a terfand banned. And i am actually trans.

If you don't conform entirely to the demands of the dogma, you will be vilified, attacked, and cancelled. It is pathetic.

I wonder if identifying as a ally is actually a type of Munchausen's by Proxy? It certainly looks like it.

JellyFishSquish · 27/10/2020 20:38

You are not wrong, OP, of course. Beardy bloke is wrong but yes you will lose because that is the sad state of affairs we find ourselves in. Where bereaved mothers are called transphobic for "weaponising their loss" by calling themselves mothers instead of birthing parent--sure they did it to make trans people feel bad (not!). Where woman must now be called cervix havers and chest feeders, menstruaters or better still, bleeders. Oh what a brave new world, that has such fuckers in it.

EmpressoftheMundane · 27/10/2020 20:41

Quit engaging with these people OP. They are confused. I doubt their feedback on your writing will be helpful.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/10/2020 20:44

I always find some if the "insulting" terms for women a bit amusing.

"Cervix haver" - yes, got a cervix, it's done its job nicely a couple of times
"Menstruater" - yes I menstruate.... that's insulting why?
"Bleeders" - by definition absolutely ALL living humans bleed so there!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/10/2020 20:46

And "chest feeder" just makes me titter, it reminds me of my grandma who would never have referred to breasts but to "a chest" - quite clearly singular in nature Grin

lioncitygirl · 27/10/2020 20:47

Oh god. ‘Healthcare professional’ - I fucking hope not!

nothingcomestonothing · 27/10/2020 20:48

OP are you now, or have you ever been, an adult human female? Because if so, you are automatically and permanently wrong - your body is wrong, your thoughts are wrong, your words are wrong, get back in your place which if you didn't know is wherever men damn well say it is. That's what it boils down to.

TheyreComingToGetYouBarbara · 27/10/2020 20:50

The brainwashed, know-it-all virtue-signallers like to invade every area of life. They can't abide any disagreement, even when it's based in simple scientific fact.

FuckingRidiculous · 27/10/2020 20:52

I'd like to know when we're going to start calling men 'individuals with a prostate' or 'penis havers'

Sexnotgender · 27/10/2020 20:54

@FuckingRidiculous

I'd like to know when we're going to start calling men 'individuals with a prostate' or 'penis havers'
It’s funny, I’m yet to see any instances of that, whereas I could return a dozen examples of menstruators in minutes. I wonder why that could be.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/10/2020 20:57

Ejaculators Grin

There. I did it. Consider the tone lowered.

yourhairiswinterfire · 27/10/2020 20:58

What is it about mumsnet and this issue? Why do you care? Does it affect you? Just leave people alone.

We care because it is affecting women and this is a predominantly female forum.

This mangling of language leads to companies competing with each other to come up with the most degrading terms they can to refer to women. I don't care if you're happy to be referred to as a bleeder, a menstruator or a cervix haver. Most of us are not, it's not how you speak about human beings.

We're now living in a world where women are not allowed to be referred to as women, but are forced to call males women.

The ideology has led to known rapists being locked up in women's prisons, where to the surprise of no one with half a functioning braincell, they raped the female inmates. There's a court case (Judicial Review) to try and stop this ever happening again starting tomorrow.

It leads to sportswomen being cheated out of awards that they've trained all their lives for.

It leads to women who publicly state they believe in biological sex being sacked, sent death and rape threats, and having their home address posted online.

Women talking about their rape, domestic violence, the deaths of their babies and children are being accused of weaponizing their trauma.

Two women campaigners, FGM survivors, were absolutely hounded and racially abused because they used the term FGM. This is apparently transphobic because men and boys can have vaginas and so FGM isn't exclusive to females Hmm

It has led to lesbians being sexually harassed by males claiming to be lesbians. Lesbians are being told they should get therapy to get over their penis aversion. So the ideology is hot on homophobia and conversion therapy.

And just a few days ago, it led to the stillbirth charity SANDS excluding the word 'mother' in the name of 'inclusivity'. When bereaved mothers pointed out they want to be referred to as mothers, they were called transphobes, bullies, and accused of 'centring themselves'.

Instead of asking us why we care, try asking yourself why you don't.

MrsKoala · 27/10/2020 20:59

I once posted a reply to my cousin on FB about trans and female sports. My husband saw it and went nuclear. Told me he was ashamed and embarrassed to be married to me. He said it was like waking up and realising he was married to someone from the bnp. He blocked me on Facebook and has refused to socialise with me in case I show his clever and cosmopolitan friends/colleagues how embarrassingly uneducated and provincial I am. I am still pretty Shock about it.

persheptions · 27/10/2020 21:00

CaraDuneRedux

No, that's not how a writing group works. That's how literary criticism works. It's very different.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/10/2020 21:03

Instead of asking us why we care, try asking yourself why you don't.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

TheyreComingToGetYouBarbara · 27/10/2020 21:04

I once posted a reply to my cousin on FB about trans and female sports. My husband saw it and went nuclear. Told me he was ashamed and embarrassed to be married to me. He said it was like waking up and realising he was married to someone from the bnp. He blocked me on Facebook and has refused to socialise with me in case I show his clever and cosmopolitan friends/colleagues how embarrassingly uneducated and provincial I am. I am still pretty shock about it.

Shock Seriously don't know how you can live with someone who treats you that way over having the temerity to see the obvious problems with biological males competing against biological females.

Hickorydickoryspock · 27/10/2020 21:05

@MrsKoala whaaaat?! Thats awful.
I am trans and your husband sounds misogynistic to be honest with you. Even if he didn't agree with your article he could have calmly discussed it with you. His reaction is pretty dosgusting. I feel like women have a very valid fear of male violence which is being eclipsed here... people are trying to pretend cis women are some kind of supremacist group when they are actually an opressed and understandably afraid group.

JellyFishSquish · 27/10/2020 21:06

OMG thank you yourhairiswinterfire

This is what we are on about and it is not at all amusing.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/10/2020 21:06

Give it time, @MrsKoala, and I'm pretty sure your husband will be trying to bury all evidence that he supported this anti-science position which has done children, women and LGB people so much harm. I hope he will apologise to you, if you're still together at that point.

MissMarplesGlove · 27/10/2020 21:07

@MrsKoala how do you stay married to this man??