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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.

537 replies

DelvingintoInsanity · 27/10/2020 16:55

A group on facebook that I'm in.

Have never been accused of transphobia before and like to think I'm a tolerant and inclusive person. Quite socked and wondering if I am in the wrong here?

Clearly, I'm now close from being banned from the group. Just for context, it's a writing group.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Perfect28 · 27/10/2020 20:01

What is it about mumsnet and this issue? Why do you care? Does it affect you? Just leave people alone.

DiWoo · 27/10/2020 20:01

Sadly...the Royal Society of Biology has been captured. They also believe it is transphobic to say sex is real. There was a post on MN last week? discussing their twitter feed. I kid you not.

But then they will be in receipt of the evidence

Lifeinthelastlane · 27/10/2020 20:02

Does an issue about women affect the largely female membership of mumsnet? Hmm that's a tough one.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/10/2020 20:03

Gaspode - thank you my dear, you've saved me a wonderful lot of typing with your post, good work.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 27/10/2020 20:03

@Perfect28

What is it about mumsnet and this issue? Why do you care? Does it affect you? Just leave people alone.
There are so so many threads outlining why people are concerned.

I'd recommend the "Break it Down for me" thread if you are genuinely interested.

CaraDuneRedux · 27/10/2020 20:06

@persheptions

CaraDuneRedux

That's irrelevant. In a writing group you have to keep it about the writing as writing. It's not a place for politics etc.

No, it's absolutely central to the point.

Suppose for example I wanted to use sci fi as a vehicle for a political satire, riffing off the Gloria Steinem quote that "If men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament." In my sci fi world, I make an American president, his VP, key members of his cabinet, his male right-wing picks for the Supreme Court - all the men in that now infamous photo of Trump signing off an Executive Order banning federal funding to any overseas aid charity which even provides abortion advice - and I make them all pregnant.

Then work through, within the story, the ever more Baroque after-the-fact justifications they would come up with for why it was okay for them as men to have abortions, even if they'd been denying them to women.

A fair plot for a book, I'd say. Might not be your cup of tea, but definitely within the remit of what a lot of sci fi writers might want to tackle (because the best sci fi usually involves using the literary device of sci fi to shine a light, for good or bad, onto contemporary society).

Having some wokebeard come along and say "but transmen get pregnant all the time" would entirely miss the point of what I was trying to do. Namely to explore what would happen when men - the old fashioned kind, who wield the power but can and do duck out of their reproductive responsibilities, while denying women the agency to take control of their own reproduction - suddenly found they were the ones gestating the sacred foetus.

marfisa · 27/10/2020 20:09

Yes, the comment you made was transphobic. HTH.

FuckingRidiculous · 27/10/2020 20:10

[quote rashalert]@DimidDavilby

A man has a penis.
A woman does not have a penis.

Wishing it were otherwise does not make it so.

Ponder on that.[/quote]
100%. This is what it boils down to. People wish biology worked in the way they want it to and therefore everyone else around them needs to pretend it does to avoid any hurt feelings facing the truth may bring. Things like this make the whole thing a laughing stock.

And you know why so many people are liking or loving their comment OP? It's because they know if they are seen as anything but 'on side' then the pitchforks will come out for them as well. Everyone is so desperate to be seen as thinking or believing in the 'right' way to avoid being railroaded by people like the guy in your group, that they don't actually stop to wonder if it is or not.

Sexnotgender · 27/10/2020 20:11

@marfisa

Yes, the comment you made was transphobic. HTH.
Lol, no it wasn’t. Get a grip. HTH.
FuckingRidiculous · 27/10/2020 20:11

@marfisa

Yes, the comment you made was transphobic. HTH.
No, it doesn't help if you never explain it. It makes it look like you don't actually have a reason and are saying it for the sake of it... Hmm.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/10/2020 20:11

Look here's another one!

@marfisa please can you explain why its transphobic to set out the facts of human reproduction, in biological terms?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/10/2020 20:12

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Gaspode - thank you my dear, you've saved me a wonderful lot of typing with your post, good work.
Any time! Grin
FairFridaythe13th · 27/10/2020 20:12

So saying sex isn’t gender, and the fact that in reproductive matters sex trumps gender is homophobic? 🙄

JonasKahnwald · 27/10/2020 20:16

I have a feeling @marfisa doesn't quite know. But saying it means they get woke cookies and attention from bearded woke bros. So that's nice.

FleetsumNLangCleg · 27/10/2020 20:18

@DiWoo

Sadly...the Royal Society of Biology has been captured. They also believe it is transphobic to say sex is real. There was a post on MN last week? discussing their twitter feed. I kid you not.

But then they will be in receipt of the evidence

Well, you know. Evidence is transphobic.
Greektome · 27/10/2020 20:20

Bullies tend to be popular. It's nice being on the winning side. And all you have to do is bitch about people!

JuliaJohnston · 27/10/2020 20:20

marfisa please can you explain why its transphobic to set out the facts of human reproduction, in biological terms?
I'd love to hear the answer, but I'm not holding my breath. They never go beyond the "you're all just rotten transphobes", based on nothing whatsoever.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 27/10/2020 20:20

@JonasKahnwald

I have a feeling *@marfisa* doesn't quite know. But saying it means they get woke cookies and attention from bearded woke bros. So that's nice.
Im convinced they don’t know

And the other plopper whose name escapes me

I can only remember the first three letters of their name and i KNOW I’ll be in trouble if i just put that 🤔

FuckingRidiculous · 27/10/2020 20:22

@JuliaJohnston

marfisa please can you explain why its transphobic to set out the facts of human reproduction, in biological terms? I'd love to hear the answer, but I'm not holding my breath. They never go beyond the "you're all just rotten transphobes", based on nothing whatsoever.
We all just need to EDUCATE OURSELVES obviously.

But not on facts of course because they are transphobic.

FleetsumNLangCleg · 27/10/2020 20:22

@marfisa

Yes, the comment you made was transphobic. HTH.
Don't plop and run. Do educate us.
littledrummergirl · 27/10/2020 20:23

DimidDavilby

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend smile"
I thought this was meant to be sarcastic.

KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 27/10/2020 20:23

I have to say, the appropriation of people with DSDs as nothing more than props to back up a ridiculous argument is definitely one of the most unpleasant things I have seen around this issue (and there are a lot of unpleasant things around this issue!)

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/10/2020 20:24

I've said more than once that I find on this issue there's a similarity to modern art.

Middle-aged woman with no training in art but a sound grounding in biology tries her hand at life drawing - not art.
30yo of either sex who belongs to the Tory party and enjoys country pursuits paints landscapes in oils - not art.
Young person enrolled at Goldsmith's orders consignment of carrots to be dumped in front forecourt as a statement - that's art. Notify the Turner Prize shortlist forthwith!

On trans issues - all that matters is that you have the right affiliations. Knowledge and life experience count for nothing.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
FuckingRidiculous · 27/10/2020 20:24

@KnightsofColumbusThatHurt

I have to say, the appropriation of people with DSDs as nothing more than props to back up a ridiculous argument is definitely one of the most unpleasant things I have seen around this issue (and there are a lot of unpleasant things around this issue!)
Agree. But its the only thing that possibly backs up the flimsy argument and so never mind that it's completely irrelevant and separate to the issue being discussed.
KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 27/10/2020 20:24

Oh look, this thread has attracted the ploppers, quelle surprise!