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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.

537 replies

DelvingintoInsanity · 27/10/2020 16:55

A group on facebook that I'm in.

Have never been accused of transphobia before and like to think I'm a tolerant and inclusive person. Quite socked and wondering if I am in the wrong here?

Clearly, I'm now close from being banned from the group. Just for context, it's a writing group.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
NoSquirrels · 27/10/2020 19:25

@DelvingintoInsanity

Have just noticed his comment about me checking my transphobia at the door is racking up lots of likes and hearts. So, seemingly lots of people on the group agree with him. Hmm I know where I'm not welcome!
Ah - agree with him. That explains a lot.

I’d just leave this group. The premise the original writer was asking about sounds utterly dire anyway.

persheptions · 27/10/2020 19:25

CaraDuneRedux

That's irrelevant. In a writing group you have to keep it about the writing as writing. It's not a place for politics etc.

CheetasOnFajitas · 27/10/2020 19:26

[quote DelvingintoInsanity]@FreshFreesias No, I don't think any of them have published. The man I had a to do with, however, states on his personal page that he writes for the Huffington Post. The group is for aspiring novelists from all over the world, who have little time to actually write. I'm still trudging painfully through my own first draft. [/quote]
They would probably have a lot more time to write if they didn’t waste it getting involved in ridiculous protracted online arguments about transpeople...

gamerchick · 27/10/2020 19:30

@DimidDavilby

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend Smile

And another one who just pops up on the easy ones, with their pointy finger.

No substance. It's disappointing.

CandyLeBonBon · 27/10/2020 19:30

@DimidDavilby

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend Smile

Admin? Is that you???
VettiyaIruken · 27/10/2020 19:30

@DimidDavilby - are you saying you believe it is transphobic to say that a person requires specific organs in order to be pregnant?

I will PayPal you £1000 if you can link me to an article about a person who has gestated a child without that person having a womb at the time.

Plus another £1000 if you can explain why it is factually incorrect to say a womb is required to gestate a foetus.

StanfordPines · 27/10/2020 19:31

@LouiseTrees

Guessing you are American.
I believe the internet is transatlantic these days.
Melroses · 27/10/2020 19:31

The group is a writing group for time pressed aspiring writers.

He has a way to go then.

Messagetoyoucassie · 27/10/2020 19:32

Health care professional my arse. YANBU Nothing transphobic about what you said. You stated facts. Sounds like an utter fanny.

popcornlover · 27/10/2020 19:33

In a world where everything seems to be transphobic, a “healthcare professional” probably means he once stocked paracetamol onto a Tesco shelf

@SlipperyLizard You’ve answered it! I was wondering what the hell type of job he did! It is indeed scary to think one could be medically treated by someone who doesn’t know if the patient in front of them is a woman or a man.

Bejazzled · 27/10/2020 19:33

@DelvingintoInsanity

A group on facebook that I'm in.

Have never been accused of transphobia before and like to think I'm a tolerant and inclusive person. Quite socked and wondering if I am in the wrong here?

Clearly, I'm now close from being banned from the group. Just for context, it's a writing group.

Unfortunately it’s the first (only) response from strange uneducated people who cannot see the truth at the the end of their noses. You are correct of course.
JuliaJohnston · 27/10/2020 19:35

Some 40watt has actually used the wrong side of history trope...
To someone arguing the case for biological reality 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

merrymouse · 27/10/2020 19:35

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend

Yet biology is stubbornly slow to change, so here we are, stuck with material reality.

Nameandgamechange123 · 27/10/2020 19:41

Well done for staying the facts clearly. Some people are so adamant they are correct, they are not listening to reason. I think we should all put our foot down about this.

Margie70 · 27/10/2020 19:42

@PatriciaPerch

I don't like to comment on these threads as I was hounded on facebook and branded a terf and my email given out, I think my mumsnet account was hacked aswell because i said i was not going to be called cis Confused aand that using terf as a derogatory term to silence women wasn't on ypu'd have thought i'd have eaten a baby with a knife and fork they are AGGRESSIVE MEN and they doing huge damage to the communities they pretend they represent
This has been my experience too, photographs shared of me and partner in local small town Facebook page - very worrying that freedom of discussion has gone down the pan. And all of this is due to male privilege- they hate the idea that women share spaces and experiences that they don’t - well they can have my periods any day.
CuppaZa · 27/10/2020 19:44

You are correct

gluteustothemaximus · 27/10/2020 19:45

A gay transman? You mean a biological woman who fancies biological men.

Exactly how babies are made Confused

AnyOldPrion · 27/10/2020 19:48

Obviously YANBU.
But I can’t believe this is from a ‘writing group’.
Are any of these ‘writers’ even published? 🙄
These people sound unhinged.

Are you aware that Joanne Harris, president of the Society of Authors (you can’t join unless you’re published) is full on “Transwomen are women” and has steadfastly refused to speak out about the astonishing abuse JK Rowling has received for making a statement that was easily as innocuous as that in the OP?

Really, the writing community is awash with this stuff. Especially YA fiction. They have “sensitivity readers” checking everything to make sure nobody transgresses. That’s how much of a stranglehold wokeness has on the industry.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 27/10/2020 19:51

@persheptions

That's not appropriate to a writing group. It's not the place to push your views even if they're correct. That will get you banned regardless of the subject. It's divisive and not the place.
Why isn't it appropriate? Why is stating facts divisive?

Why is it only discussion around sex being real and the impact on women of believing otherwise, taboo?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/10/2020 19:51

@DimidDavilby

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend Smile

Dimid, could you enlighten a few of the old-fashioned, non-woke people you are seeking to enlighten here?
  1. Why has the Nobel Prize for Medicine not gone to someone who's found the third gamete? I know about ova and sperm, but for sex to be non-binary surely there must be a third gamete? Maybe more than three.
  1. Surrogacy - oddly, when the woke want to commision a person to carry a baby for them because they can't/won't do it for themselves, they always seem to end up contacting a person who an old-fashioned bigot might describe as a woman. Why is this?
  1. Can you please link to the detailed, peer-reviewed research that shows that puberty blockers are perfectly safe for pre-teens and young teenagers? The evidence I've seen suggests that there are concerns that these drugs have nasty side effects, they may reduce the child's IQ, they can cause problems with bone density leading to osteoporosis later in life, almost every child who takes them proceeds to take cross-hormones even though their brain is still a child's and their parents have not always been given full information on the consequences, and as a consequence the child becomes infertile, from either blockers or cross-hormones or a combination of both, and may never develop a normal sexual functio, ie never experience orgasm, and in later life there are lots of serious health consequences, e.g. cancer, heart disease. Not something to inflict on a child lightly, I hope you'll agree? The extremely dodgy suicide/self-harm stats thrown around to justify this medical treatment don't stand up to examination, so it's baffling to me why we are allowing this to happen to these troubled children, when there's plenty of evidence that they are struggling with autism spectrum disorder, family trauma, other mental health conditions.
  1. Are young women working for a career in sport transphobic for wanting to compete against other biological females? Biological males identifying as females in adult life have benefited from male puberty and can win competitions, medals, scholarships and records even on cross-hormones, because their hearts/lungs/fast twitch muscle fibres/height/hip anatomy etc have not changed one iota as a result of their new gender identity, even if they take cross-hormones and/or have sexual reassignment surgery.
  1. Can you please reassure us in simple, straightforward terms that none of this relates back to gender stereotypes? A little girl who doesn't like having long hair and wearing dresses, who enjoys playing football and playing with construction toys, is still a girl, just as much as a girl who is perfectly happy having long hair, wearing pink and playing with dolls. A boy who is sensitive, has no interest in sport, loves dressing up is still a boy, just as much as an aspiring rugby player who buys into the stiff upper lip stereotype for boys. It's horrible to think of children not being accepted for who they are and being told they need surgery and hormones to make their bodies match their brains. There are no ladybrains. There is no evidence from neuroscience to suppor this idea. Nobody is born in the wrong body.

There's a lot more, but that'll do for starters.

Goosefoot · 27/10/2020 19:52

@CheetasOnFajitas

It’s not the main point but when did “phobic” suddenly start to mean “anti” instead of “afraid of”?
I think it was probably with homophobia, I can't really think of anything earlier than that. The assumption was I think that people who had a problem with homosexuality were secretly scared or disgusted by it. An it came to be used to mean anyone not in line with whatever the current thinking is. (Even then it's used very broadly to include people who are neither afraid not hateful - I've known it to be used about gay men and lesbians with the wrong opinions about things like same sex marriage or surrogacy.)
yourhairiswinterfire · 27/10/2020 19:52

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Statements like this are making the trans community an absolute laughing stock, and it's losing them support which is hugely unfair. Hope you're pleased with the part you're playing in it.

BrassicaRabbit · 27/10/2020 19:56

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend

Culture. That thing that humans do that means football in the US is "for girls" and football in the UK is "for boys".

History. Often biased in recording events pertaining to certain sections of society to the exclusion of others.

I very much doubt a critical analysis of either culture or history would prove the points you'd like them to.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/10/2020 20:00

This crap makes me so cross.

You've been had OP, sorry. When you challenge irrational idiots with calm factual science, it does tend to enrage them further. I've discovered this myself. My response to this sort of exchange has been to literally refer in chromosomal terms, eg "it is only possible for an XX human to birth a baby". This is irrefutable, and therefore sends them potty.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 27/10/2020 20:00

In a few years there will be a fair few young people who have medically transitioned and had their bodies pumped full of harmful hormones which mean they will be sterile and will never experience sexual pleasure. Have had irreversible surgery maiming their working-perfectly body to create an illusion they believed years before.

Young people who were championed on by those who are currently telling us we're on the wrong side of history ... I wonder what you'll tell that person when they realise they can't turn the clock back?

Nah mate, pretty sure you're on the wrong side.