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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.

537 replies

DelvingintoInsanity · 27/10/2020 16:55

A group on facebook that I'm in.

Have never been accused of transphobia before and like to think I'm a tolerant and inclusive person. Quite socked and wondering if I am in the wrong here?

Clearly, I'm now close from being banned from the group. Just for context, it's a writing group.

That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
That's a first. Accused of transphobia. WIBU? Screenshots.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
DeaconBoo · 27/10/2020 18:57

Btw @Gertrudethewise - by not including a space when referring to a trans man you displayed transphobic prejudice. Please educate yourself. The OP managed to be respectful in this aspect yet you changed their wording, either out of ignorance or transphobia I can't tell.

CheetasOnFajitas · 27/10/2020 18:57

It’s not the main point but when did “phobic” suddenly start to mean “anti” instead of “afraid of”?

NRatched · 27/10/2020 18:57

@Billben

YANBU at all even though 6% of posters think you are 😂 Don’t pay them any attention 😀
Those thinking it is transphobic (or the poster who reckons this is the most 'transphobic' forum), I wish you would post and lay out your reasoning. I have long been after an explanation for things I don't understand, such as, how something like the OP could be transphobic. There never seems to be any answers though sadly. Only ever 'bigot' or whatever. Its tiring and maybe explaining to us whats actually wrong about whats said, might help? Afterall, if you really do think people are bigots, it would be a good thing to 'educate them' and they may think twice in future? It should not be so hard to articulate why you think someone is wrong, if you are secure in your own opinions surely?!
DiWoo · 27/10/2020 18:58

I don't recall this ground-breaking new scientific discovery in the history of our time, being on the news, it's amazing! I must have missed all the many documentaries about it, afterwards too
I've emailed the Royal Society of Biology to ask to where I can find info on this, I'll let you know where you can read about it too when they get back to me

thereplycamefromanchorage · 27/10/2020 18:59

Yanbu, nor is it transphobic to state biological truth. Worrying that a healthcare professional doesn't know the difference between male and female also.

wellbehavedwomen · 27/10/2020 19:00

@BrumBoo

Anyone who brings intersex people into their trans arguments need to be directed towards intersex groups and charities. From my experience, most intersex people are not at all impressed being brought into TRAs arguments using their bizarre idea of what biology is.

Otherwise, don't engage. So many people blur the line between sex and gender, much like any other 'beliefs vs fact' argument. It's exhausting trying to argue with uneducated numpties who refuse to acknowledge a difference.

It's ironic that in this person's desperation to signal that s/he is awfully inclusive and respectful, intersex people are cavalierly thrown under the bus.

The ignorance is annoying, but the ableism is really pretty offensive. People with DSDS are not walking gotchas for lazy Trans Rights Activists. The dehumanising co-option, to serve an agenda that has nothing to do with intersex people, is awful.

TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 27/10/2020 19:04

Everything is transphobic nowadays, unfortunately. Sneeze and you're being transphobic.

It's infuriating coming up against these opinions. Sadly for me about 80% of my friends - the people I would consider to be the most clever and thoughtful people I know - have been fully sucked in by this rubbish. I can't understand it, to be honest. It is still absolutely accurate to say there are two sexes, male and female, and that you can't change sex. That is reality.

I'm particularly sad there isn't more sense in the writing community. This country has some very clever writers indeed and they should be perfectly placed to be challenging these ideas.

RHTawneyonabus · 27/10/2020 19:06

Welcome to the post-truth society. The number of people who think all sorts of crazy improbable stuff never ceases to amaze me

FleetsumNLangCleg · 27/10/2020 19:07

@DiWoo

I don't recall this ground-breaking new scientific discovery in the history of our time, being on the news, it's amazing! I must have missed all the many documentaries about it, afterwards too I've emailed the Royal Society of Biology to ask to where I can find info on this, I'll let you know where you can read about it too when they get back to me
Sadly...the Royal Society of Biology has been captured. They also believe it is transphobic to say sex is real. There was a post on MN last week? discussing their twitter feed. I kid you not.

The grown-ups have to stand up now or it's the end of the world as we know it. I'm not laughing.

persheptions · 27/10/2020 19:09

That's not appropriate to a writing group. It's not the place to push your views even if they're correct. That will get you banned regardless of the subject. It's divisive and not the place.

CaraDuneRedux · 27/10/2020 19:11

persheptions - read the OP's post about context - it was about a sci fi story in which biological males got pregnant.

JellySlice · 27/10/2020 19:14

@DelvingintoInsanity

Yes, it was a man and yes, he did have a beard.

The group is a writing group for time pressed aspiring writers.

The original post was a woman asking people's thoughts on her plot that involved 'a male becoming pregnant through experiments and homosexuality', whatever that means. I didn't respond to the original thread but simply noticed the response about 'gay trans men having kids all the time,' and felt the need to clarify, in the interests of the OP, that it was because trans men are biologically female that they are able to become pregnant, and the OP specifically mentioned a male becoming pregnant in her query.

She might be interested in this film:

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0070960/

I saw it many years ago. It was the sort of film that was the last programme of the evening, just before The Sky At Night and shutdown. I watched many weird subtitled foreign language films while babysitting Grin Anyway, I don't remember much about it, but you can be pretty sure that there's nothing deeply philosophical, trans nor feminist about it - it was the 70s! Straight up situational comedy, I'm sure.

merrymouse · 27/10/2020 19:16

Not sure what kind of health care professional this is, but people who have 'intersex' conditions and have children are not another sex.

However, worrying though their lack knowledge may be, they are unlikely to change their opinion, so there isn't much you can do about it.

(Hopefully they work in a field of healthcare that isn't related to reproductive health...)

FreshFreesias · 27/10/2020 19:16

Obviously YANBU.
But I can’t believe this is from a ‘writing group’.
Are any of these ‘writers’ even published? 🙄
These people sound unhinged.

OrigamiPenguinArmy · 27/10/2020 19:17

@murteplod

I identify as two people in one body. If you say I'm wrong or think I have mental health issues then you are obviously an idiot, since conjoined twins exist. Therefore I can be two people in one body.
I know this is a joke, but it exists. People refer to themselves as plurals and they have headmates. If you’re very far down the person is a thing because they say they are that thing rabbit hole you have to include the plurals because you have to accept everyone’s self declared identity. Apart from anyone who claims to be transracial, thats not allowed, because reasons.
DimidDavilby · 27/10/2020 19:21

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend Smile

Original poster
DelvingintoInsanity · 27/10/2020 19:21

@FreshFreesias No, I don't think any of them have published. The man I had a to do with, however, states on his personal page that he writes for the Huffington Post. The group is for aspiring novelists from all over the world, who have little time to actually write. I'm still trudging painfully through my own first draft.

OP posts:
popcornlover · 27/10/2020 19:21

Out of curiosity OP, did the Facebook woman who was seeking opinion comment on the ensuing debacle? I’m wondering whether the bonkers person had a go at her too, you know, about how it’s so offensive to lump men having babies under science fiction. Men having babies is real life isn’t it! Bloody hell, what has the world turned into...

rashalert · 27/10/2020 19:22

@CheetasOnFajitas

It’s not the main point but when did “phobic” suddenly start to mean “anti” instead of “afraid of”?
I often ponder this.

Anyway, a phobia is an irrational fear and it is certainly not irrational to be afeared of this...it is bloody sensible to be afeared of it and wonder what other shite they will dream up.

So, yes. I'm anti. I don't have a phobia about it because, although it is a fear, it is not an irrational one.

BrumBoo · 27/10/2020 19:23

@DimidDavilby

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend Smile

@DimidDavilby, don't just give this weak 'brave new world' speech. Explain exactly how the op has been transphobic as opposed to factual. Keep in mind, just because you may not like what someone is saying does not instantly equate to either 'phobia' or hatred of a person.
rashalert · 27/10/2020 19:23

@DimidDavilby

YABU and transphobic, and you know it. Your wide eyed bullshit does not fool me even if it fools others.

Enjoy being left behind in the old world, culture moves on and you are on the wrong side of history my friend Smile

Hey, biology doesn't though! Thank God.
Original poster
DelvingintoInsanity · 27/10/2020 19:23

@DimidDavilby Can you explain why you think so? I'd certainly like to be enlightened if you genuinely believe I was transphobic.

OP posts:
SlipperyLizard · 27/10/2020 19:23

In a world where everything seems to be transphobic, a “healthcare professional” probably means he once stocked paracetamol onto a Tesco shelf.

I’d ditch the group if I was you as this is an argument you won’t win if he’s an admin.

rashalert · 27/10/2020 19:25

@DimidDavilby

A man has a penis.
A woman does not have a penis.

Wishing it were otherwise does not make it so.

Ponder on that.