To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

I was born in August, never had an issue. My sons late July, never an issue, wheres the cut off?

Our school allowed people to defer reception. I'd have done it if DS had been a few days older as he was nowhere near ready the year before.
Have another year of her being at home if you can. She's a lot of years in education to come.

In Scotland the cut-offs work differently, the cut-off is the 28th Feb but if your child has a January or February birthday you can choose if the start school that year or defer to the next year. If the child's birthday is Sept to December the parents need approval from a nursery or social worker to support their request for deferral. My children have January and February birthdays!! I deferred for both of mine and never regretted it. A teacher friend pointed out to me its not really about when they are 4 and 5 it affects them more when they are older and they are the youngest amongst their peers. Particularly up in here in Scotland where it could mean they go to University at 17 and not old enough to join in Freshers week!!

Do what’s right for your child, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or does. I deferred my late July-born daughter and she started in Reception at CSA in September. It was absolutely the right decision for us. She has had delays and would never have coped with Reception last year. I shudder to think how things might have turned out if I had caved in to pressure from others. Obviously my daughter has (mild) SEN, however I would say that any summerborn child would benefit from an extra year to play and develop. Why not give them the best possible opportunity to thrive?

I have two summer born children and one my third born in September.
My first was absolutely fine but I think would have thrived in the year below instead of plodding along, but my second has struggled so much, mostly just as she is young and not as mature as her friends. She is in year 3 now and only just do I feel the gap between her and her peers is closing but it has been a very difficult three years.
My youngest is September and can I see the advantage so so much!! I wish I’d held both my summer born children back, even my eldest who is doing well.

I am end-of-August born, and it was no disadvantage to me at all (Oxbridge, DPhil, etc). My DC are also August born, and have likewise not found it a problem (DC1 has just started at Oxford).

All that said: starting school at just-turned-four wasn't the norm when I was that age.

Moreover, I didn't send my DC to school until they were five, but did that by missing Reception (they went straight into Year One when they had just turned five). I was happy to have them at home until then.

I suppose if one of them had been less bright, I might have considered putting them in the wrong school year - but they weren't, so I didn't.

If she can join reception class a year later, do it. If you’re deferring and she will go from nursery into Y1 - hell no. Year 1 teacher here speaking from experience!

-He’s currently in Year 2 and is doing really well compared to his Peers and his teachers have now asked his mum if come next September would she like him to jump up to Year 4 and miss Year 3.-

So now he leaves his friends and peers ? Is that good?

Don’t let size sway your decision. I was always tiny for my age, and grew up to be 152 cm. It’s not about the size if the dog; it’s about the size of spirit within the dog.

Everyone has an anecdote about a summer born child -in our case dd thrived being the youngest. She's always had to work hard to keep up and that work ethic meant she soon caught up and is thriving at a selective secondary.

But none of this means anything about your situation?

My guess would be that as your dc has very interested parents, they'd probably be ok to start school as planned. but only you know how sociable/independent your kid is?

My September -should-have-been-August-born daughter is in year one, and I wish she was in the year above. Academically she is doing fine but not excelling. Socially she is bored out of her mind and still clings to the friends in the year above she made at nursery. I worry about her teenage years! The summer born kids have formed a sweet little crew and all seem to be doing well.

We have had the experience of the same child being both oldest and youngest in the year (changed system)

As youngest in the year she was always described as being a bit slow, a bit immature etc

As oldest in the year she was always described as being quick, mature etc

In the education system where DD was youngest it was very common for students to repeat a year or be pushed forward a year. No stigma attached.

Maybe it’s because my eldest child has SEN so my expectations had to be adjusted that I feel this way - but isn’t it better to teach your child to focus on their ability rather than the ability of the other children?

Plus, its all well and good being the ‘big fish’ but it’s really important to learn resilience for when you are the ‘little fish’ as well.

Just my opinion anyway.

But do what suits you and your child.
Ypur choice

Tricky. I think I’d be more concerned with the social aspect than the academic. In my kids school which is small, the oldest in the year tend to be the more confident. My dd is early summer birthday and at nursery always played with older children so I wasn’t worried about her being young. If she gravitated, and played more with the younger ones I’d be tempted to defer I think.

I think it depends so much on the child. My daughter is an autumn baby but after her 4th birthday was so so bored at nursery, it was at risk of turning her off of education to be honest. It's not a risk free option

Nobody can tell you what to do here, OP, because we don't know your child.

My August born DD started school with her chronological year group and has thrived. She would have been bored if we had kept her back. Conversely our DS is June born but we are already starting to consider whether to keep him back; he has hypermobility which has delayed his gross motor development and only walked at 23 months, and we are currently awaiting a SALT referral because we are concerned about his delayed speech.

A summer birthday alone is not, in my opinion, a reason to defer.

Age matters, but it's only one of many many factors that determine how well they do in school.

Hi op. I work as an education advisor for a twins and multiples charity. As most twins are early we get absolutely tons of referrals about this. The vast majority of schools would accept a Reception start at CSA. Very few would want the child to do in to Y1 as it isn't in the schools interest either! She can then stay in that cohort. Lots of people say they have to jump up later, that isn't true now. I'd join the FB group that people mentioned earlier lots of the parents who contact us are members.

I kind of see where you coming from but I really would want to be 100% sure that she won just miss reception altogether. That would surely put her at a much bigger disadvantage. If you’re worried about her being very small could she just do half days for the first term while she builds up her stamina and resilience?

What will happen with sports, especially as she gets older? Will she have to play with the correct year group, but not have PE at the same time to practice?

There is always a cut off in terms of age, school is just one example but lots of out of school clubs tie in with their school years - this could cause difficulties if she then has to adjust to being with the next year group up. Other clubs like lifeguards and skiing are based on calendar years so someone different will be the youngest and oldest. I’ve never known anyone to defer their child in those settings for being a few weeks away from the cut off.

Having one autumn born and one summer born I can’t say I’ve seen a huge difference. They’re 2 different kids, 2 different individuals who need treating as that no matter what their grades are at school.

It so depends on the child.

I have a summer-born. I was really unsure in theory, but it was crystal clear mine was "ready" to start reception and would have struggled to be left behind whilst all the children from the preschool group were moving to big school.

We would just have had a miserable child for a year stuck with kids to young. We did have a list of what was needed, but we made sure all our kids were ready anyway (toilet, carrying lunch tray, changing for PE, anything you can think about they need!)

Years on, it was the right decision. Happy and doing well at school. Deferring would have meant wasting a year.

It also depends if deferring means actually that, or simply losing out on reception and starting straight in year 1. I wouldn't recommend that.

What age do they start school where you are?

The youngest would be 4yrs 5mths when they start. The upper age limit extends up though as they get a dispensation if they are born in either of the 2 months when we have the long vacation. It’s hard to explain but basically it means that teachers are dealing with a group of kids ranging from approx 4.5yrs to 5yo but edging closer to 6yo. It’s a big range at that age but in general they even out around 8-9yo and teachers would be hard pressed to tell which of them started when at that point with ours.

Definitely give it consideration. Speak with both nursery and school about your child.

We deferred DS now P5 (equivalent of Yr4).
He still has the concentration span of a goldfish and sometimes I wonder if the teaching material is too babyish for him.

While there is evidence that summer born English children do worse in school. I couldn't get stats for Scotland.
The only study I could find on longterm youngest vs oldest in the year was from one if the Scandinavian countries. They found by the time kids were in 30s the youngest were out earning the oldest.

It really has to be a decision based on YOUR individual child, with the people who know them. I'd also be tempted to take into account the whole Covid situation. Who knows where we'll be next summer.

I would think very carefully before deferring . I have 2 summer born one July and one August and I am a year 1 TA. Every couple of years we have a deferred child coming into year 1 and they can't cope. Year 1 is far more formal than reception so coming from nursery or pre school straight to year 1 is a humungous jump. Reception is basically just an extension of nursery. Both my kids started when they were just 4 and both were so ready. Nursery couldn't stimulate them enough - reception is that ideal go-between and if you defer this whole learning curve of school is missed out!

I don’t know if this is possible but can you defer just one term? Would going in after Christmas give a happy middle ground? I have had the other issue with an early September birthday child who I felt would have benefitted from school but turned 4 the day after the cut off. Many of his nursery friends went off to reception and he stayed in nursery and is quite often bored by the ‘nursery work’ as he puts it. I think it’s much more down to the child’s personality than their date of birth.