To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

I would say everything depends on your daughter. Some grow quickly and totally outgrow nursery by 4. One of ours was able to read at 4, so it would have been detrimental to leave him behind. The other (his twin) would have benefitted from a bit more growing-up time as he had the attention span of a gnat, while his brother was able to sit down for at least an hour with a puzzle or a book.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, I was sent to school early (from another country, where school starts at 7 but early entry is allowed in exceptional circumstances) but think that was the right choice. I was the youngest child in class, but also got the highest grades. I will say, it helped that I was very tall as I felt sufficiently confident I was with my peers. Girls mature emotionally more quickly than boys and may be ready earlier.

My brothers daughter is a summer born - she’s doing better than Everyone else - I think it’s down to individual child and parents. Totally up to you.

I think it depends on the child. My August born DS is quite academic so he's certainly not behind in that area. I did notice though that in reception and year one he did seem a little emotionally immature compared to his older peers. He's 8 now and it's not an issue and I don't think keeping him back would have been the right thing to do but you know your child best.

You know your child best. I would certainly have deferred DS start, if that option had been available then.

Children differ, so that is part of the decision - you are making a judgement about your child.

Personally I think that children start school too young in the UK - they are put on the treadmill of constant assessment when they are very small, and they continue down this funnel right up to college. They do need much more time to just be children without formal learning.

One of my DDs was an August child and going to school too young created a pattern of failure that stayed with her for many years and we had to do a great deal to mitigate this. If it were me, I would defer.

[quote Dozycuntlaters]@Di11y
No-one ever worries a 1 September born will be bored etc

DS's best friend was a 1st September baby and was so fed up that all his friends got to go to school and he had another year to wait.[/quote]
My son is 1 September. We will struggle to keep him engaged for another year at preschool and it does worry us, especially because we might end up teaching him maths/reading etc in the wrong way (he keeps asking us to teach him) and mess up his experience when he starts again in reception next year. His friends were mostly he older kids and he misses them. If I could have sent him to school this year I would have done.

However that is based on his particular personality and the way his mind works. His little preschool friend with a birthday 3 days before him has gone to school now and seems less ready for it than he would have been.

In your situation OP I would stand your ground re your and your DH’s perception of your daughter’s capabilities/social development and speak to her preschool teachers, who will have experience of how a child at her current stage now might have matured come next Autumn. Beyond allowing the stats to reassure you that deferral is very often a good thing, I would ignore them and also ignore the opinions of people who know her less well (I include your brother in that).

My dd was August born and just 4 when she went into Reception. The class teacher had a corner with mats where any child who needed to nap could lie down quietly after lunch. My dd thrived at school and has done ever since.
My dil was born August 31st and also thrived. I wouldn’t defer unless it seems essential for social reasons .

I think intelligent kids will achieve regardless. My birthday is late August. I’ve always done well academically.

I don’t know any parents who have regretted deferring but I know a lot who wish they had. I’m in Scotland and the youngest a child can start school is 4.5, a lot of those kids are deferred so are 5.5 when they start which gives them a huge advantage.
I just don’t understand why the English system has them starting at just turned 4

It needs to be done on a case by case basis and IMO most summer born will be fine if they have engaged parents and no other factors (prem/SEN etc). Tests like the 11 plus allow (figure might be slightly out) a 13% advantage on marks for the very youngest so there obviously is a difference in performance but it lessens each year, and I remember reading a study when DD1 was little that the biggest indicator of success was the parent's socioeconomic group.

I have 2 summer born DCs who were not deferred. They are currently in yr2 and yrR.
DD1 started 'mid pack' academically on average but socially very behind. I was quite concerned at the Easter before she was due to start academically, but she made a lot of progress over the summer term and hols and by Sept was keen and ready enough. She still struggles socially, but I suspect that is her personality rather than her age. We are working on that! Academically she has remained mid table for maths, but rapidly caught up with reading and writing and is now one of the most able. Hopefully maths will follow suit soon. It was a bumpy start, but the right decision to send her at 4yo overall. She would have been very bored at home for another year, which I witnessed in friend's children in the last yr of preschool who have their birthdays at the start of Sept (ie only a couple of weeks difference from a deferred summer child).
DD2 would have gone at 3yo given half the chance (in fact we had tears last Sept when she found she had to wait another year!). Apart from her size you wouldn't know she was one of the youngest. Academically she is doing extremely well indeed and is very sociable so no issues there. She has taken it in her stride.

A friend has a summer born with SEN. Deferring his place was a very sensible decision as he still struggled the following year.

Agree with those that say it depends on child. I would wait and see but would only defer if you think she will struggle.
My second is June born so not quite the youngest but one of and has thrived at school and would have been bored waiting another year.

Oh and another anecdote - I was due in August but born right at the start of september. I think I would have done better in the year above. I wasnt stretched in primary school, coasted too much. I got used to things being easy and it's been a lifelong challenge to push myself to improve at things I find harder.

Apologies if someone has already said this, but be careful: if you want your child to go to a grammar or independent school, I believe they HAVE to be born within the age group of the given year. The exams are age weighted at grammars to take relative age into account.

I do know the stats on summer versus autumn, and yes, correlation with success is poorer for those who are younger (for obvious reasons). But that’s life. Other dynamics come into play too however. Eg kids born into poverty, or into abusive families, and they will probably fair worse in life than any summer baby born to an economically stable family, or to non-abusive parents. Oh yes, and whether YOU as the mother went to university, or not, also has an impact on child’S academic success. Sport is another matter, and younger kids are certainly at an overall disadvantage.

I'm an August 30th birthday and always did well at school. Would have hated the stigma of being a year below where I should have been (appreciate this doesn't apply to those who join Year 1 directly)

My son is an August 23rd birthday so will be starting at the usual time! He seems to be doing well at nursery so no reason to hold him back.

Definitely depends on the child and I'm sure it works well for some.

Depends on the child. DD1 is July born and the summer borns didn't get to start school until January then instead of September but she was more than ready for school at just turned 4. She would have been fine six months earlier than that, even.

DD2 is winter born and was only just ready for school at four and a half.

My Gds was a late July baby, plus was 3 1/2 weeks early, so started reception at 4 and just over one month. My dd was worried, since it’s supposed to be harder for summer born boys, esp. the human-hurricane type like him, but his pre-school (affiliated to the main school) thought he’d be absolutely fine, and touch wood, that’s been the case so far - he’s enjoying it.

So much will depend on the individual child though, how outgoing/socialised they are, and probably whether they’ve already been used to nursery or pre school.

@ErickBroch

I am late august, started after turning 4, was in advanced classes all the way through school, did my GCSEs early, extra A-level etc... I am not special but it definitely had no impact on me or any of my late summer born friends either and this was just at normal state schools

Well, except it clearly had some impact on your ability to understand the OP's very clear point about statistics and exceptions!

@JudgeRindersMinder

I don’t know any parents who have regretted deferring but I know a lot who wish they had. I’m in Scotland and the youngest a child can start school is 4.5, a lot of those kids are deferred so are 5.5 when they start which gives them a huge advantage. I just don’t understand why the English system has them starting at just turned 4

I don't regret. I made the best decision I could with the info I had at the time.

But 5 years on I'm not convinced we made the right decision. Sometimes I do wonder if he'd have been better with slightly older, kids than him. Sometimes teaching material seems to babyish. Hes also drawn to kids a little older.

If I could turn the clock back I'd maybe do things differently. Nobody likes to admit that they made the wrong decision, esp when it comes to their kids.

If you can be sure that your dd will still be able to start in the Reception class rather than going into year1 then I would say go ahead.

However, if she will start in the Year 1 class then I would say definitely not. The reason being that not only will the others then have an advantage of age they will also have had the advantage of a years extra schooling, they will have made friends already, be familiar with the teachers and school routines etc.

I would consider carefully. It's not as if all the other children will be a year older than her- it's a spectrum and she certainly won't be the only August birthday in the class. many children starting reception have barriers to cross- being one of the youngest won't be the most difficult one.

My dd was an August birthday, and although I wish she's not been, it hasn't really held her back- she passed her 11+ and is predicted all grade A's at GCSE.

Statistically August borns fare less well until secondary age asa group, but on an individual basis there are lots of children who still do very well.

I've not read the full thread, but in case no one has mentioned it, the Facebook group 'flexible school admissions for summer borns' has lots of useful information and support.

I am glad @Doobiedooo has mentioned this

Apologies if someone has already said this, but be careful: if you want your child to go to a grammar or independent school, I believe they HAVE to be born within the age group of the given year. The exams are age weighted at grammars to take relative age into account.

Also that both mine are summer borns and there is no way I could have argued that when Ds2 was in year 5 he could have completely missed year 6 and moved up to secondary school because his grades and maturity said he would be fine.

This is surely where the problem will lie, all well and good saying the primary school supports it but what about the secondary school?

You have to apply in year 5 and ask to defer again because you have to apply when your child turns 11.

Do we automatically write off summer borns as unable to cope etc due to their birth date? I always believed that the intention of the deferral was to accommodate those born prematurely or those with speech or developmental delays. So many factors affect a child's academic ability or social and emotional maturity.

I know looking at a child they seem so little, but think about the developmental leaps a newborn makes to 12 months, then a 1 year old to a 2 year old, 2 to 3 and then 3 to 4. My friend's DD is 3rd September so she spent 5 terms in nursery and was bored by the end.

Ds1 has just applied to Cambridge. He is summer born.

I agree with everyone saying it depends on the child.

My September-born older brother did get bored and got put a year forward; this isn't that uncommon and it was probably the right choice for him (he was exceptionally bright but emotionally quite immature, which isn't an easy combination, and I don't know what the right answer would have been).

I don't think intelligence/academic ability is the important thing at this age. My god-daughter has an August birthday and her mother thinks she may well keep her back a year - and she's a very intelligent child who's already way ahead of her age in terms of academic development. But she's a little bit shy and she'd benefit from less structure and more close one-to-one contact. That's fine.

I think if they are advanced for their age then being one of the youngest actually helps as there will probably be a bright, generally a few months older cohort. I was September born, the oldest, tallest, cleverest. Felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb.

IME Independent schools often seem more flexible about children who're out of their birth years, not less! But I suppose it'd be worth checking if you're thinking that far ahead.

I’m a deputy headteacher in a primary school and have a summer born boy of 2.
I see summer born children in year R and it really is a mixed bag. I will say that if my DS is not meeting the milestones expected of a 3/3.5yr old then I will consider deferring him. If he is doing everything a 4 year old is doing I truly believe that in most cases they have caught up by Year 2. If he were to have special needs in any area I would defer. Summer born AND SEN makes it very very tough for them and I have seen children for whom it is always a struggle. I would hate that for my child.
I will be watching closely and listening to his pre school- and insisting they push him as much as poss and as hard as poss in the run up to school starting - no use molly coddling he’s not going to a special world for ‘young ones’
I will also object if his teachers decide to use summer born as an excuse.... he will need to get on with it!

Goodness I sound harsh!!!