To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

You need to make the right call for his whole education, not just this first year.

Highlighting this point, as I think it's worth repeating.

Haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to share my experience:

I'm September born. Started school the week after I turned 5. I always was one of, if not the, eldest in my year. I've always been very academic, consistently in the top achievers list.

My DSis is August born. Started school two weeks after she turned 4. She did not defer for a year, and was always the tiny, cute child in her classes. Was always just hitting 'passes', generally average in terms of academic grades. However, always put the effort in and tried really hard, was liked by all her peers and teachers.

She hit her GCSEs and excelled. She was the first lot of students to switch to the new grading system in England for some of their subjects, and got a mixture of 9s (A), 8s (A), As and As. Far exceeded my grades.

She had a maths tutor outside of school, and he was brilliant. But other than that, she just caught up with everyone and she went on to college to get a triple Distinction* in her chosen subject.

I really think that deferring would have been far worse for her. She may have been behind in terms of her age and what she might have been able to mentally achieve at that time, but she was able to participate and learn things in her way. Deferring just means that she would have started later, and everyone would still have been ahead of her, if not more so than they were in reception.

Ignore your brother, his opinion doesn't matter as he isn't parenting your child. If you and your husband think this is best for your child then go for it.

I’m not sure that as he’s just turned 3 I can make a confident statement about how he will cope academically when he starts school.
He?

Is she going straight into year one which will be a shock.
Kids in Scotland manage fine

If not, how is she going to feel leaving school at 19 and not 18?
She won't be. I was the oldest in my year, born just at the cut off. I was 18 when I finished school.

It also means that he'll be drinking and driving before all of his peers, and won't have anyone to share those experiences with.

But that’s not an issue for the students who turn 17-18 in September is it? You don’t feel sorry for them too do you seeing as they’re also the older ones in the year?

The likelihood is that if she does start school when she has just turned 5, there will be many other children turning 5 in the next few months too. She’s hardly going to be standing out like a sore thumb.

DD2 is late August born, started school at 4 years and 2 weeks. It took until late year 1 for her to properly catch up to her higher performing peers but she's flown since then.

I wouldn't have deferred for her because despite the slight academic delay it was well worth it in terms of socialisation. she'd been in nursery from age 2 too.

I think a lot depends on the school too. Your DC won't be the only late summer born and they should be very nurturing in reception anyway. There were at least 3 in DD2's class that have birthdays after her!

Augus born here. Never had any problems. Except for always being the youngest in the class haha
But that "problem" could also be always being the oldest in class 😂

You have to think here... is it YOU that has a problem with dd going to school or is it DD you think will have a problem with it?

My daughter's birthday is 31 August. Deferring wasn't an option back then and I probably wouldn't have anyway as she seemed more than ready to start school.

She was fine until secondary school and then just really struggled with being emotionally much younger than many of her peers. I know wish I had had her one day later. She would have had another full year before school and been so much more mature.

It also means that he'll be drinking and driving before all of his peers, and won't have anyone to share those experiences with.

Lol at the suggesting kids only drink legally.

As for driving, I was the first in my year to drive and have a car. That meant we all had transport to get to where we wanted.

Check what happens after year 6, does the local authority allow the missed year to continue through secondary or will your child have to miss year 7 ? Are you in a 11+ area because if so you might have to miss year 6 to apply. What happens if they are sporty, they will be in the "wrong" year group in comparison to their peers so might miss out on being selected for age teams. There's a lot to look into!

@ThornAmongstRoses

It also means that he'll be drinking and driving before all of his peers, and won't have anyone to share those experiences with.

But that’s not an issue for the students who turn 17-18 in September is it? You don’t feel sorry for them too do you seeing as they’re also the older ones in the year?

The likelihood is that if she does start school when she has just turned 5, there will be many other children turning 5 in the next few months too. She’s hardly going to be standing out like a sore thumb.

Did you read any of the rest of my comment? The stimga of having been "held back" is a big one.

Regardless, it sounds like you've made up your mind, so not sure what else you want from us here? You haven't told us anything about your child, their social ability, communication, physical capabilities, emotional maturity etc, so we really can't give you any help on this!

Is she quiet or loud?
How good are motor skills - running, jumping, Lego?
Is she confident or shy?
Does she tend to play with kids older than her or younger than her at nursery?
Is she tall, small or average - this isn't the most important point but if she's already tall in her year it might make it tougher to fit in...

All these are things to take into account, look at the individual, not the general statistics around all summer/August borns.

The other thing is in England it's still relatively rare so she will be right at the top of the age range, while in Scotland there's a lot more individualism in the approach - cut off is end of February but a lot of Jan/Feb kids defer, and then some of December and even November might if they have particular difficulties or were premature, so a late February born child would be unlikely to be the oldest in the year and stand out.

I would defer IF she could start reception a school year later

What if your summer born daughter is exceptionally bright. Delaying a year will make that situation even worse. You can always tutor a child outside of school, but it’s much harder to get the school to provide a decently rigorous curriculum.

Parents can delay until after compulsory age for any reason (and obviously then home educate if desired). Schools don't get a say in this.

The question with schools is what year they would then consider a child in at the time of enrollment. The rules for this have changed a lot over recent years and are still in flux, but in general - some make this as easy as parental choice, others make it more difficult but in the latter, it taken far enough, they'd have to prove why it's in the child's best interest to go straight into Y1. The same would then apply at secondary - they'd have to show how it's in the child's best interest to skip Y7.

I've a September born and an August born and had the frustration both ways, but I do think much of that continues into well secondary age groups, it doesn't just disappear for many. Having the youngest Y7 coming up in tears and shattered every day hasn't been much fun. At her wishes, we're giving it until the end of term, but it's been really hard and being an August born myself (and having to deal with drunk peers at a comparatively younger age), I can see the risks and benefits of both sides, but the data on the social and emotional side has given me far more pause than the academic side that many people use.

My summer born (July )just started med school at 18 and a bit. Doing fine.
Depends on child.

You have to think here... is it YOU that has a problem with dd going to school or is it DD you think will have a problem with it?

This is the kind of ridiculous argument previously perpetuated by school management whenever people asked for deferment. A highly patronising " you have to let them go, stop being so silly"

DD academically could have started school a year earlier than she did (we are in Scotland, she started when she was 5) Emotionally she absolutely would not have been able to cope with it. I am able to say that because I am her parent, and I know her and I understand her.

But OP, you aren't answering the question....is it you that's not ready or your child. When I thought about deferring my DS it was purely because I wasn't ready.

You have to think here... is it YOU that has a problem with dd going to school or is it DD you think will have a problem with it?

I don’t have a problem at such - it’s more that I am concerned. Personal anecdotes are all well and good, and like I said, I know there are many exceptions to the rule, but the research is out there that shows Summer born children are at a significant disadvantage when it comes to education and achievements.

If the Department of Education also recognise that fact then it’s clearly well researched.

I just don’t want my child to potentially have to struggle through school simply because of the month he was born in.

I wouldn’t personally, unless my child was struggling badly. I did actually consider it, but nursery told me no, she was hitting all targets. She started in September and her teacher is very pleased with her.

I wish I had deferred my August-born son's schooling. He was far too young, and definitely not ready.

The research associated with our system (which I am familiar with) is that irrespective of age at school start they all equal out academically, with age no longer becoming a factor, by end of Year 3 and they then start to sit according to ability as opposed to age. So basically, yes, big difference in educational outcomes at the start due to age but after a few years this gap disappears. I’m just surprised there seems to be such a difference between school systems in this regard.

What age do they start school where you are? My understanding is that the gap between oldest and youngest in year is a bigger issue the younger school starting age is (which makes sense, the difference between a just 4 and nearly 5 year old is a lot bigger than between a just 6 and nearly 7 year old, say). The evidence is that in the UK the gap narrows each year but persists right to 16 and some studies show beyond; the usual thinking is that by that point there's no real cognitive difference between the older and younger but that it's the effect on academic confidence from being 'behind' that persists.

The stimga of having been "held back" is a big one

The 70's called- they want their attitude back.

Iv one sept and two summer. If I'd had choice I would have deferred. Older children tend to do better

I would absolutely defer, While children may be acadmically able , emotionally they may not be. I started school at 4 left at 17 and went to univeristy the other side of Ireland. Not that I realised it but I wasn't mature enough. In Ireland its typical to start at 4 or 5 , I asked my teacher friends and all told me that they would start their children later. That was before Covid and i think that there are a lot more rules in place now. Let children be children. ps my daughter will be starting at 5.5.

Is she quiet or loud? How good are motor skills - running, jumping, Lego? Is she confident or shy? Does she tend to play with kids older than her or younger than her at nursery? Is she tall, small or average - this isn't the most important point but if she's already tall in her year it might make it tougher to fit in..

She’s very loud.
Motor skills are very good.
She’s confident but can be shy around strangers at times.
She is with a childminder, not a nursery and the other children are all of a similar age.
She’s tiny